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04-04-12 12:01 AM
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A pokemon story...

 

04-04-12 12:01 AM
pokemon x is Offline
| ID: 561621 | 965 Words

pokemon x
Level: 82


POSTS: 308/1790
POST EXP: 89258
LVL EXP: 5161616
CP: 19112.5
VIZ: 1612117

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
The Pokémon adventure.
By Pokémon x

Chapter 1

 I am a charmander. Pokémon fear me
cause of my father which I hope to become one day. I will need a lot of
training but I fear trainers so I hide from them when they come near my home.
One day I got caught by this Pokémon professor named Prof. Oak. A bunch of
years he kept me in a poke ball he didn’t let me out to stretch my legs or
anything. One day I saw light I found out I was let out of the poke ball in
front of the Prof and 2 people. Prof. Oak mentioned their names were Gary and
Ash. There was 2 other Pokémon right beside me one was a squirtle and the other
was a bulbasuar. The person name Ash chose me and Gary the other person chose
squirtle. I was like oh no he chose my weakness why? I didn’t know any fire
moves yet so I was pretty defenseless. Ash walked towards the door his rival
said hold up let’s have a battle and Ash accepted the challenge. I was sent out
and Gary sent out squirtle. We didn’t want to fight but we had to. All I knew
was scratch while the squirtle knew tackle and leer which he was forced to keep
lowering my defenses against him. Then I kept using scratch and it didn’t seem
to affect him at all. Next thing I know I was hit by a tackle and fainted.
Later I woke up by some person I didn’t know. She asked if I felt better. I
felt better but then when I looked at ash he had a pidgey with him. I wondered
is he replacing me with a pidgey? Then he returned pidgey to a poke ball and he
said charmander you will be stronger someday I promise and he said return
charmander. Now I am back in a poke ball wondering where I am at. I start to
see the light again I was let out of the poke ball again. I looked to the side
pidgey has fainted and I thought am I in a battle I was. So a few battles later
I learned a fire move ember it helped me a lot in some cases. Later I saw Gary
again he looked stronger than before. Ash sent me out to face him. I was
thinking did his squirtle learn a water move? While I wasn’t paying attention
the squirtle used bubble it stinged badly on my skin.  I am almost down I look weak next thing I
know Ash picked me up and sent out pidgey and it beat the squirtle but it looks
very weak. Next thing I know pidgey is just laying down on the ground like it
sustained too much damage. Ash looked at the pidgey and took it to the Pokémon
center. Ash called the person that healed us nurse joy I am assuming that is
her name. Then nurse joy said to Ash pidgey passed away it took too much damage
to survive. He nearly fell after that and then when we went outside there was a
ratatta it looked pretty strong. Ash battled it and caught it. It was named
ratty from there on.


Chapter 2
The leaving of charmander.

 Since Ash caught ratty I haven’t been in any
battles he eventually released me cause he said I am not strong enough. Then I
remembered he promised I would be stronger one day. He just released who knows
how many miles from home. I have decided to go on a journey of my own.
I have heard
of the secret Pokémon league where you can form groups of 6 and fight the
strongest Pokémon in each town or city. They are harder than the regular
gym leaders of towns by as much 3 times stronger.  I have learned the first town has some rock
and ground Pokémon. I might need to learn a metal move but I am a fire type. I
might need to get a few Pokémon to train with and join my team. Charmander goes
to search for some new friends to train with. During that time he wondered why
I was released is there a reason. After a few hours of training he managed to
get a pidgey name ace to join his group. Ace is a fast and strong pidgey. He
was also different than other pidgey’s.
He was a shiny pidgey. He mentioned the other pidgey’s laughed at his
coloration of his feathers. Another Pokémon joined the group it was a weedle.
This weedle was known for his special move bug bite. He eventually evolved
during the training into a weedle me and pidgey had to carry him it was hard to
move around. Then little longer he evolved into a fast beedrill. We have grown
stronger Ace learned gust to help keep some of the Pokémon well the poison type
one’s. I learned metal claw, so when I learned that we thought we could
challenge the first Pokémon challenge. We went to the outskirts of the first
town we saw Pokémon challenge but barely saw. I think it was supposed to not
look obvious. I learned this Pokémon looked very powerful… But this was the
first Pokémon challenge area so they can’t be super powerful. First there was a
onix I was weak to him we all were. Except onix didn’t know about my metal
claw. So I might be able to win this. But then I realized if we lose we will have
to start from the beginning .If that happens we will have to train two times
harder. Me and ace need to evolve if we want to win this.
The Pokémon adventure.
By Pokémon x

Chapter 1

 I am a charmander. Pokémon fear me
cause of my father which I hope to become one day. I will need a lot of
training but I fear trainers so I hide from them when they come near my home.
One day I got caught by this Pokémon professor named Prof. Oak. A bunch of
years he kept me in a poke ball he didn’t let me out to stretch my legs or
anything. One day I saw light I found out I was let out of the poke ball in
front of the Prof and 2 people. Prof. Oak mentioned their names were Gary and
Ash. There was 2 other Pokémon right beside me one was a squirtle and the other
was a bulbasuar. The person name Ash chose me and Gary the other person chose
squirtle. I was like oh no he chose my weakness why? I didn’t know any fire
moves yet so I was pretty defenseless. Ash walked towards the door his rival
said hold up let’s have a battle and Ash accepted the challenge. I was sent out
and Gary sent out squirtle. We didn’t want to fight but we had to. All I knew
was scratch while the squirtle knew tackle and leer which he was forced to keep
lowering my defenses against him. Then I kept using scratch and it didn’t seem
to affect him at all. Next thing I know I was hit by a tackle and fainted.
Later I woke up by some person I didn’t know. She asked if I felt better. I
felt better but then when I looked at ash he had a pidgey with him. I wondered
is he replacing me with a pidgey? Then he returned pidgey to a poke ball and he
said charmander you will be stronger someday I promise and he said return
charmander. Now I am back in a poke ball wondering where I am at. I start to
see the light again I was let out of the poke ball again. I looked to the side
pidgey has fainted and I thought am I in a battle I was. So a few battles later
I learned a fire move ember it helped me a lot in some cases. Later I saw Gary
again he looked stronger than before. Ash sent me out to face him. I was
thinking did his squirtle learn a water move? While I wasn’t paying attention
the squirtle used bubble it stinged badly on my skin.  I am almost down I look weak next thing I
know Ash picked me up and sent out pidgey and it beat the squirtle but it looks
very weak. Next thing I know pidgey is just laying down on the ground like it
sustained too much damage. Ash looked at the pidgey and took it to the Pokémon
center. Ash called the person that healed us nurse joy I am assuming that is
her name. Then nurse joy said to Ash pidgey passed away it took too much damage
to survive. He nearly fell after that and then when we went outside there was a
ratatta it looked pretty strong. Ash battled it and caught it. It was named
ratty from there on.


Chapter 2
The leaving of charmander.

 Since Ash caught ratty I haven’t been in any
battles he eventually released me cause he said I am not strong enough. Then I
remembered he promised I would be stronger one day. He just released who knows
how many miles from home. I have decided to go on a journey of my own.
I have heard
of the secret Pokémon league where you can form groups of 6 and fight the
strongest Pokémon in each town or city. They are harder than the regular
gym leaders of towns by as much 3 times stronger.  I have learned the first town has some rock
and ground Pokémon. I might need to learn a metal move but I am a fire type. I
might need to get a few Pokémon to train with and join my team. Charmander goes
to search for some new friends to train with. During that time he wondered why
I was released is there a reason. After a few hours of training he managed to
get a pidgey name ace to join his group. Ace is a fast and strong pidgey. He
was also different than other pidgey’s.
He was a shiny pidgey. He mentioned the other pidgey’s laughed at his
coloration of his feathers. Another Pokémon joined the group it was a weedle.
This weedle was known for his special move bug bite. He eventually evolved
during the training into a weedle me and pidgey had to carry him it was hard to
move around. Then little longer he evolved into a fast beedrill. We have grown
stronger Ace learned gust to help keep some of the Pokémon well the poison type
one’s. I learned metal claw, so when I learned that we thought we could
challenge the first Pokémon challenge. We went to the outskirts of the first
town we saw Pokémon challenge but barely saw. I think it was supposed to not
look obvious. I learned this Pokémon looked very powerful… But this was the
first Pokémon challenge area so they can’t be super powerful. First there was a
onix I was weak to him we all were. Except onix didn’t know about my metal
claw. So I might be able to win this. But then I realized if we lose we will have
to start from the beginning .If that happens we will have to train two times
harder. Me and ace need to evolve if we want to win this.
Administrator
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04-04-12 12:14 AM
MAX FORCE is Offline
| ID: 561624 | 23 Words

MAX FORCE
Level: 18

POSTS: 25/57
POST EXP: 1574
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CP: 168.9
VIZ: 12666

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The story is sad and yet cool at the same time. But it seems like Ash was Gary when Ash set Charmander free.
The story is sad and yet cool at the same time. But it seems like Ash was Gary when Ash set Charmander free.
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04-04-12 09:15 AM
RequiemHaunt is Offline
| ID: 561700 | 95 Words

RequiemHaunt
Level: 77


POSTS: 852/1503
POST EXP: 138087
LVL EXP: 4017754
CP: 2034.4
VIZ: 84169

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
I loved chapter one. That was told very well. Chapter 2 I noticed you rushed and really it needs a lot of work. You go from writing from charmander's view to writing about charmander and back to writing from charmander's view. Choose one type of writing style so as not to loose your readers. You also rushed their training. I got lost a lot in chapter 2 and I think you should reread it and fix some things. With more work it will be a fun story. Follow the chapter one and you'll do great!
I loved chapter one. That was told very well. Chapter 2 I noticed you rushed and really it needs a lot of work. You go from writing from charmander's view to writing about charmander and back to writing from charmander's view. Choose one type of writing style so as not to loose your readers. You also rushed their training. I got lost a lot in chapter 2 and I think you should reread it and fix some things. With more work it will be a fun story. Follow the chapter one and you'll do great!
Vizzed Elite
Vizzed #1 Galerians fan!


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 03-13-11
Location: New York
Last Post: 4183 days
Last Active: 4146 days

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