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jlh
04-02-12 04:47 PM
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04-02-12 10:17 PM
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A poem or rap by jlh

 
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04-02-12 04:47 PM
jlh is Offline
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| ID: 559719 | 182 Words

jlh
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Title It's all on you.  It's all on you man so keep your mind on the game plan.
 Don't worry about the other man cause nobody gives a damn.Sometimes you got to take a stand for what you believe in and don't fall fall for others scams it might just put you in a jam.
 Cause it's your life so treat it right, it's just like a knife pollished and honed. So keep it true down to the bone. Work for that money like your supposed to cause nobody is gonna do it for you.
 Money makes the world go around, you don't have it you get clowned, quick that's how it is, in this world you got to be slick.
 Keep your pockets fat and your wheels rollin, don't wind down the wrong road not knowing. So do every thing for you and maybe you will find some one to hold on to, but you better remember it's all on you cause even some one you love doesn't give a ---- either. So keep your mode up even in stormy weather.


Title It's all on you.  It's all on you man so keep your mind on the game plan.
 Don't worry about the other man cause nobody gives a damn.Sometimes you got to take a stand for what you believe in and don't fall fall for others scams it might just put you in a jam.
 Cause it's your life so treat it right, it's just like a knife pollished and honed. So keep it true down to the bone. Work for that money like your supposed to cause nobody is gonna do it for you.
 Money makes the world go around, you don't have it you get clowned, quick that's how it is, in this world you got to be slick.
 Keep your pockets fat and your wheels rollin, don't wind down the wrong road not knowing. So do every thing for you and maybe you will find some one to hold on to, but you better remember it's all on you cause even some one you love doesn't give a ---- either. So keep your mode up even in stormy weather.



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(edited by jlh on 04-07-12 06:55 PM)    

04-02-12 06:32 PM
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| ID: 559773 | 76 Words

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I'm having a little trouble understanding the overall message/point of it. It might be because it isn't split up into visible verses and is typed in paragraph form. It might help me separate sections to comprehend it better. Think you can tell me in one or two sentences what you are trying to say overall? If I know, then I can reread it with the right mind set. Also, what exactly does flick your bic mean?





I'm having a little trouble understanding the overall message/point of it. It might be because it isn't split up into visible verses and is typed in paragraph form. It might help me separate sections to comprehend it better. Think you can tell me in one or two sentences what you are trying to say overall? If I know, then I can reread it with the right mind set. Also, what exactly does flick your bic mean?

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04-02-12 06:45 PM
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Yea i,m no rapper or anthing I just had some free time and to write about how people try to use one another.I think flic your bic mean't to stay in a good mood. and yea i can see how i wrote it is confusing, but most of the words ryme at the end of every one or two sentences, thats why it's like a poem. please close if too confusing, thanks.
Akira
Yea i,m no rapper or anthing I just had some free time and to write about how people try to use one another.I think flic your bic mean't to stay in a good mood. and yea i can see how i wrote it is confusing, but most of the words ryme at the end of every one or two sentences, thats why it's like a poem. please close if too confusing, thanks.


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04-02-12 07:05 PM
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There is no reason to close because your rap/poem confuses someone. Anyway, after knowing what your main point is, I have re read it keeping that in mind, and it really helps. I will say one thing though. You might want to change the term 'flick your bic' because I looked it up. It doesn't mean what you thought it meant. Just type in 'what does flick your bic mean' in google and click the Urban Dictionary link to see what I mean. 





There is no reason to close because your rap/poem confuses someone. Anyway, after knowing what your main point is, I have re read it keeping that in mind, and it really helps. I will say one thing though. You might want to change the term 'flick your bic' because I looked it up. It doesn't mean what you thought it meant. Just type in 'what does flick your bic mean' in google and click the Urban Dictionary link to see what I mean. 

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04-02-12 07:13 PM
jlh is Offline
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wow i had no idea that's what it could mean, i should definetly rewrite that. It just reminded me of people holding there lighters up in a good time.
Akira
wow i had no idea that's what it could mean, i should definetly rewrite that. It just reminded me of people holding there lighters up in a good time.


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04-02-12 10:02 PM
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Well, that was the original meaning of it since there is a lighter brand called bic. So people would say flick your bic when they wanted a light. But like so many things, it has been turned into something derogatory and immature. 





Well, that was the original meaning of it since there is a lighter brand called bic. So people would say flick your bic when they wanted a light. But like so many things, it has been turned into something derogatory and immature. 

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04-02-12 10:17 PM
jlh is Offline
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Yea, I actually wrote like five or six differant poems, I was so bored , some of them had nothing to do with me
Akira
Yea, I actually wrote like five or six differant poems, I was so bored , some of them had nothing to do with me


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