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04-16-26 12:34 PM

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Oneliners
Please help surport my latest obsession
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02-01-12 10:36 PM
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Oneliners

 

02-01-12 10:36 PM
FullmetalFan870 is Offline
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So for some strange reason, I have recently become obsessed with oneliners, which has lead me to create this thread.

All you have to do here is tell me a oneliner that you like.

I'll start: "If at first you don't suceed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried."
So for some strange reason, I have recently become obsessed with oneliners, which has lead me to create this thread.

All you have to do here is tell me a oneliner that you like.

I'll start: "If at first you don't suceed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried."


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02-01-12 11:03 PM
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To quote someone I know...

Lazlo Falconi : "Stop signs are just suggestions."
To quote someone I know...

Lazlo Falconi : "Stop signs are just suggestions."

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02-02-12 06:18 PM
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When life gives you lemons, throw the lemons back into life's face!

^I think everyone knows that one.
When life gives you lemons, throw the lemons back into life's face!

^I think everyone knows that one.

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02-02-12 06:26 PM
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Someone70 : Ooh I know a similar one. 

If life gives you lemons, find a new God.
Someone70 : Ooh I know a similar one. 

If life gives you lemons, find a new God.

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02-02-12 07:53 PM
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My new favorite line...


Deal with it.
My new favorite line...


Deal with it.

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02-02-12 08:31 PM
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Best oneliner ever: could you put that in a memo and label it **** I already know.
Best oneliner ever: could you put that in a memo and label it **** I already know.


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02-03-12 12:51 AM
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Fallman7 : Lol... Sarge. As cool as he is... I've gotta say Go Blue Team

One of my favorites is still: "I love you, you're perfect, now change."
Fallman7 : Lol... Sarge. As cool as he is... I've gotta say Go Blue Team

One of my favorites is still: "I love you, you're perfect, now change."

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(edited by Antha on 02-03-12 02:17 AM)    

02-03-12 12:58 AM
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Here's one I like to use:

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink it.
xterm

user@vizzed ~/$ post

Here's one I like to use:

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink it.

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02-03-12 09:34 AM
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Someone70 : Or, my favourite variation:
"If god gives you lemons you FIND A NEW GOD."


Heck, Powerthirst in general is absolutely amazing for one-liners.
Someone70 : Or, my favourite variation:
"If god gives you lemons you FIND A NEW GOD."


Heck, Powerthirst in general is absolutely amazing for one-liners.


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02-05-12 09:03 PM
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From The Big Bang Theory

Sheldon: I'm not insane, my mother had me tested!

and another:

Sheldon: Ah, gravity - thou art a heartless b****.
From The Big Bang Theory

Sheldon: I'm not insane, my mother had me tested!

and another:

Sheldon: Ah, gravity - thou art a heartless b****.


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(edited by ZeldaKidnapsGanon on 02-05-12 09:06 PM)    

02-08-12 08:22 PM
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"S.c.h.o.o.l: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives."

"I do not believe I could actually slap the stupid out of someone, but I do believe I could have a lot of fun trying to slap the stupid out of someone"


"So I went on Thesaurus.com and typed in Ninjas. What came up was: "Ninjas cannot be found." Well played, Ninjas, well played indeed"

Someone70 :
I never knew there were so many lemon based oneliners! Here's another:
"When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and wonder, “How the hell did I do that?”

"S.c.h.o.o.l: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives."

"I do not believe I could actually slap the stupid out of someone, but I do believe I could have a lot of fun trying to slap the stupid out of someone"


"So I went on Thesaurus.com and typed in Ninjas. What came up was: "Ninjas cannot be found." Well played, Ninjas, well played indeed"

Someone70 :
I never knew there were so many lemon based oneliners! Here's another:
"When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and wonder, “How the hell did I do that?”



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02-08-12 08:45 PM
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Here are a few of my favorites:

After watching the Larry the Cable Guy, I now know what GED stands for. "Get Er' Done".

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

ZeldaKidnapsGanon : You should like this, as it is from Sheldon

I am the ball, my thoughts are its thoughts, its holes are my holes. (bowling ball)

Oh Mario, I wish I could control everyone the way I can with you


Borrow money from a pessimist because they won't expect to get it back.

A lie is just a good story that someone ruined with the truth.





Here are a few of my favorites:

After watching the Larry the Cable Guy, I now know what GED stands for. "Get Er' Done".

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

ZeldaKidnapsGanon : You should like this, as it is from Sheldon

I am the ball, my thoughts are its thoughts, its holes are my holes. (bowling ball)

Oh Mario, I wish I could control everyone the way I can with you


Borrow money from a pessimist because they won't expect to get it back.

A lie is just a good story that someone ruined with the truth.

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02-09-12 02:45 AM
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rcarter2 : lol, the bowling episode of The Big Bang Theory was on a few days ago
rcarter2 : lol, the bowling episode of The Big Bang Theory was on a few days ago

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02-10-12 12:19 AM
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Hm, to post a bunch of funny ones, or something meaningful? I'll go with the latter, and thus a quote from Wall-E:

"I don't want to survive, I want to live!"
Hm, to post a bunch of funny ones, or something meaningful? I'll go with the latter, and thus a quote from Wall-E:

"I don't want to survive, I want to live!"

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02-10-12 03:55 PM
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Here are some of my favorite one liners. 
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
And finally my personal favorite that I use all the time : If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
Here are some of my favorite one liners. 
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
And finally my personal favorite that I use all the time : If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

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02-10-12 04:20 PM
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"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."           

~ Albert Einstein
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."           

~ Albert Einstein

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(edited by Psymonn on 02-10-12 04:21 PM)    

02-10-12 05:12 PM
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(Last line in Grim Fandango)

"You know, sweetheart, if there's one thing I've learned, it's this: nobody knows what's gonna happen at the end of the line, so you might as well enjoy the trip." - Manny

(Last line in Grim Fandango)

"You know, sweetheart, if there's one thing I've learned, it's this: nobody knows what's gonna happen at the end of the line, so you might as well enjoy the trip." - Manny



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Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-upThis one is true 
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-upThis one is true 

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02-11-12 03:53 AM
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Hmm, one serious, one not so much:

-"If life gives you lemons, keep them. Cause hey, free lemons"

-"If at first you don't succeed, redefine success"
Hmm, one serious, one not so much:

-"If life gives you lemons, keep them. Cause hey, free lemons"

-"If at first you don't succeed, redefine success"

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02-11-12 11:16 PM
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"If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?"

"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it."

"They say guns don't kill people, people kill people. But the guns help. I don't think you would kill a lot of people by just standing there and yelling bang."

"My imaginary friends think you're wierd"

"The evening news is where they tell you good evening, then proceed to tell you why it isn't"


"If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?"

"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it."

"They say guns don't kill people, people kill people. But the guns help. I don't think you would kill a lot of people by just standing there and yelling bang."

"My imaginary friends think you're wierd"

"The evening news is where they tell you good evening, then proceed to tell you why it isn't"


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