She has promised me that she'll allow me to go *somewhere* next year, but she can't allow me to go for now.

Now after a year, I've been really excited about it. I asked her about her promise, and guess what, I think she forgot. I insisted that it's her promise, but she just kept on denying it. She even shouted at me and refused to keep her promise. Now I've lost my trust for her. She never listen to me, she doesn't think of my feelings, she only thinks about what she think is right. In short, she doesn't understand me at all. She do what she wants, and also doesn't know how to keep her promises, it's like she's just promising things so I'll shut up but she's not really sincere.

Unlike my dad. Even though we have some disagreements, some quarrels, I can feel his understanding and love (he's a thrifty man so no, I'm not spoiled lol). Also, he knows when something is really important for me. He knows what I like and dislike, even without me saying anything about it.

ie. Dad's the reason why I've been able to continue playing musical instruments. He knows its my passion and also my hobby. My mom is against it though, because she "thinks" that it would just hinder my studies and my success.

Now I always wonder why dad married mom....

And also, that *somewhere* is the place where I've spent a year of my childhood.

I'm sorry to hear :/

Unfortunately, I know this all too well, but you should be fortunate you at least have your dad though (I don't trust my mother or step father for VARIOUS reasons... but enough about them, this is about you)

Parents tend to do this more often than one would think. Often times it's not heard of because it's not AS monumental, but obviously this is very important to you.

I don't really have any advice but to keep your chin up. You aren't going to be a kid and under their power your entire life

Well maybe she does no longer feel secure about the voyage...because you know there maybe various changes over a year. Sometimes we must try to understand our parents...ya I know how you feel about a year waiting....but maybe the right time has not come yet.
You know parents usually have the tendency to secure things like our career,Education and future....in so doing sometimes it can happen that some of our wishes are a bit neglected.
But they do try to assure that we do have a good and secure future....


Maybe you wait for ya mum to get in a good mood and ask her later on.....

well in the case of music....what can I really say she's much inclined towards your success...maybe you could tell her afterwards that you really get inspiration from music...
For instance in my case I get inspiration from Swimming....

To sum up these kind of things do happen in life....and many a times we don't see any logic behind...but these things are happening....sometimes we must do some compromises and sometimes our parents will...then things tend to get better...and also our views ..we should try to alter it and try to view life in from several angles.....

The solution maybe for you is to go to tranquil place and try to relax (I usually do this when am...a bit tense and not agreeable with family members....then when everything calms down I go to them and try to discuss..... )..But it is not always that we have a solution....but with time passing and other things we tend to forget and adjust....

Finally what I really hope is that you have a good talk with ya mum...and everything returns to place....

That really blows chunks, I'm sorry to hear that.

Sometimes parents will do and say things selfishly without thinking of how it could hurt their child. I've always thought that to be a good parent to someone you need to be pretty selfless and always consider your children's needs before yours. So it's one thing for her to go back on her promise, but it's worse that
she acted like she didn't promise you anything and wouldn't even
apologize for going back on what she said. Sometimes people can be really
stubborn and they don't want to admit they did something wrong... which is pretty awful and unfair when that person has parental influence over your life.

It's also pretty stupid that she is against you playing instruments. It's proven that focusing on something like playing an instrument improves your overall ability to learn, and do well in school.

I agree with Leggy, that you won't always have to listen to your mom or change your life at her whim. Before you know it you will be able to make decisions like that for yourself. At least you have trust in your dad.

That is sad,Juliet.I hate it when parent deny something they promised.It sucks.At least your dad understands you and all that

Sorry to hear that, it's kind of annoying when you come across people that deny things from the past and who always think that they are right.

I'm really sorry to hear about this =(

It is at least comforting to know that your father is behind you in some mannerism. I will again cite what the others said that we have to look at it objectively speaking. yes your mother deserves criticism for falling back on the promise and disregarding that she even made it. IF she actually gave a valid reason as to why she won't keep it anymore...then that would be better. Without knowing you or your family, I ca't really cite what would have changed changing her mind. As for the musical angle...I had the same issue until my marks stayed in the 90's and even then my mother was still very reluctant...

I remember my parents NEVER kept their promises or their word, and they often tried to flat out control my life. That is primarily why I am where I am (not because I want to be as is, but because I had no real choice). The promises...I would say from father it was a 30-40% chance of being kept (though he rarely made them) and from mother a 5% chance of being kept.  For other reasons I don't trust them but...ok sorry about steering the train off the rails there.

I feel sorry for you. Nobody should be treated like that, especially abusing your feelings or the "promises" she makes. If only she would actually do something to change that. Looks like that won't happen anytime soon.

Been there, done that and took pictures, although i wont be going into that.
Parents can be stubborn, and often wrong, yes, but the underlying fact is they generaly follow a plan to get you success, sometimes theyre just too hands on.
I dont hold much stock on promises im given, take it as a life lesson.

Heh. Sounds like my mother except she has reasons (I party wild so....) but yours. Does she have a reason why or is she really forgetful (like you said). Well atleast your father is supportive for you. Sometimes they do what they think is right even though it seems unfair (refer to parties for example when they say "NO" ). Just wait until you can calmly explain why not and if problems still persist, then just accept it because she is trying her best to help you succeed in life. One thing though, sorry if this aggravates you but not allowing you to play an Instrument, that seems dumb.

Not allowing you to play an instrument sounds really stupid. If you have musical talent, that could be a good thing - maybe your mom doesn't know it. As for her forgetting what she told you last year, my mom did that too (for no reason at all), but she has issues going on that are more than just memory loss.  I'm sorry this happened to you. At least you have your dad!

I'm sorry to hear that, but at least she does what she thinks is best. I know this poor, unfortunate kid, whose mother is a crack head (in jail now) and never tries to get the kid to come visit her, so she can keep her "reputation." He has no idea who/where is father is, and lives with his grandparents, who try their best to take care of him. Honestly, your situation sucks, but it's my opinion that it sucks no where near as much as that kid. And so not to steal your glory-moment here, I'm very sorry she didn't keep her promise. Maybe she will let up soon and allow you to go.

I feel your pain there Juliet. I mean, it's very stupid how parents can make promises and don't follow through with it. It makes you want to not trust them so much, that you don't want to say anything to them for a while. Hopefully it doesn't go on that long for you, time heals all wounds...I suppose.

That sucks that you had to go through that.I'm not so sure that she did it on purpose though, maybe she just didn't have the money required at the time? IDK I'm just brainstorming here.

So now that some time has passed, have you been able to forgive your mother, and patch things back up?

I am sorry to hear of what your mother did to you. No matter what, I think it is a good idea to realize that she focuses on your success so much because of her love for you. Even though you two may never get along, just know that that is probably one true reason behind her actions.

Juliet : I am so sorry to hear about your current situation. I wish I had some magical answers for you but I don't really know what to say. I'm glad you have your Dad though. What I don't get about your Mom is why she would think playing musical instruments would hinder your studies or success. If anything it would enhance them. I guess maybe, and no offense, she doesn't think logically?

Well now I feel lucky to trust my mom after hearing your story right here. I hope you can trust your mom again. Also I hope that you can rely on your dad for the meantime.