I'm not going into a long drawn out story or explanation, I'm just gonna get right to the point.

I've been this way with my last girlfriend, and I'm showing signs of doing it again. I lIke talking to/texting my girlfriend, but... When she doesn't text me for a half hour or so, I get insanely bored (like time slows down; every minute feels like ten) and if she doesn't text me for 2-3 hours I get worried, like she's doing something she knows I wouldn't like or hanging out with somebody I wouldn't like (guy friend she knew from school; chance she could have feelings for him, etc) and after 5-6 hours I'm hiding how furious I am... I've already figured out that I have trust issues but I don't know how to fix them. Don't even really know what they're caused from!

Please, advice? I don't want this ruining another relationship, or making her feel like I'm suspicious of everything she does...

Well I would just find something to do until she texts/calls back.
Has this happened more than once? She may have been busy , or not have noticed her phone ring.

hnnn : It happens whenever there's a gap in the day. Only time I don't do this is at night when I know she's asleep. Is it just trust issues or ssomething I should truly take action to fix?

warmaker : Ok lot of questions. Yes I always instantly respond, and naturally that means yes I'm always around my phone too. I'm not like this with any ofmy friends, just my gf. We been dating a little over a month, and I'm 20, she's a year older. I'm upset cuz it just seems like she never wants to talk to me, yes she has her own life but I think it's about respect. I mean I'm her boyfriend, I'm part of her life too, right? Maybe I'm being ridiculous, but I think I deserve more than 4 texts a day. She lies saying she's busy when she's just hangin out with her friends or playin Sims or whatever.

I need a plan. Or something.

Dude, you sound just like I was back in high school.

When I was in your shoes, I would text constantly, call her occasionally, and generally make her feel very uncomfortable. Being both paranoid and possessive is not a good recipe for a successful relationship.

Trust me, I know all too well how it is. For me, there was very little ways to keep myself entertained outside of her and this is not intentionally to sound dirty. However, now I know how it feels like from the other side. I have a friend who gets very paranoid, jealous, and angry to the point that it nearly scares me.

Honestly, by bothering her so often, it only increases the chances of her being unfaithful later on or getting sick of you. That's what happened to me. Instead you should try to focus on activities to get your mind off of her 24/7. Getting a job, playing video games, reading, surfing the net, going outside, hanging with friends, working out, watching tv, and so on are all good outlets of your time. Over time, you may learn to enjoy your own company and learn to find pleasure in the simple-non-girlfriend-related-things.

Why does this happen? For me, I was fixated on her so much for so long that when she finally found out my true feelings, I didn't know what to do. This was the first time that I was ever seriously into someone. Strangely enough, I actually worked out back then and I think a few members of the opposite sex liked me, and yet I was unhappy with myself. Over the years I've learned more about myself and worked harder to make myself a person that I want to be. I took my interest in art much more seriously, I began telling others about my problems instead of keeping them all contained, and I just learned from experience. Now I'm very happy with myself - even if there's still some glaring improvements to be made - and my jealousy, paranoia, and other negative aspects of myself have for the most part vanished.

I fell in love again last year and was rejected, however, I got over it much faster than the first time. She recently got a boyfriend and I'm happy for her. Strangely enough, we've begun talking more. It's like we're stronger friends now. Also, just two days ago, this fine female from my class who was also my first friend in college, told me she went on a date. I had a little crush brewing but I'm fine that she had a good time.

To put it simply, love yourself, give your loved ones some breathing room, think about how it may feel like from someone else's perspective, and learn from your mistakes.

One more thing, if she's finds someone else and you can't be happy for her, do you really love her?

Zeldisaster : It is a matter of perspective.  You're her boyfriend, yes, but you're not her entire life and all her attention shouldn't be about you.  4 texts sounds like a reasonable amount.  What else is there to talk about for 10-20 or more texts every single day?  What you're doing is creating an uncomfortable situation for her in that she doesn't always want to respond instantly and she has to deal with you being upset about it.

If you say she lies about being busy, than you should immediately get out of the relationship.  The basis for respect is having a conversation about what you both feel is appropriate.  Talk to her and sit her down and tell her how you feel.  If she says she simply can't or won't respond to you in a manner you feel is correct, then you will have a lot of problems as your relationship continues.

If she's lying to you about what she's up to, or you think she's lying to you, you need to get out right now.  Not trusting her means you don't have a solid foundation and you should move on.  End of story.

Have you talked to her?  What has she said?

warmaker : Her words were something to the effect of: "I have my own life and I'm too stressed out to need you always texting me. Today I'm on full-on lockdown (not allowed to text her until like 9 tonight, not once) which I think is a little extreme, but... Yeah I know I sound like the bad guy... I'm smothering her, basically.

I've heard that its all about the trust. You have to trust her not to make those kind of decisions. You can't always be there to make sure she does what she's supposed to. You can't control other people's actions no matter how much you dislike it 

I agree with Catfight.

I don't want to accuse you of anything, but I think the reason you have these irrational thoughts after only a matter of minutes is because somewhere inside you, you don't trust her completely.

It's likely not even her problem that you don't trust her completely, it's just something you have to let yourself do.

If you are deeply in love with each other then you shouldn't have to worry about infidelity, loss of interest, or dishonesty. If you convince yourself that you KNOW this for a fact... you give her your complete respect, devotion and place every ounce of trust possible in her, you will be able to relax your mind and not have these worries so much.

I hope that helps or is at least partially useful to you.

Zeldisaster : As others have said, yes, you are her boyfriend... but you are not her world, nor should you be. You are behaving in a dependent manner towards her, and expecting her to do the same, which is insanely unhealthy in a relationship.

I don't think she is "lying" when she says she is busy hanging out with other friends... it is rude to ignore the people you are hanging out with in favor of texting, so if she is hanging out with people, that actually is being busy. If you were hanging out with your best friends and someone was texting YOU every minute while you were trying to watch a movie or have a conversation, wouldn't you get annoyed? Take the gf part out of that situation and think about that. You'd get annoyed, wouldn't you? I know I would. If your parent calls while you are hanging out with friends, you tell them you are busy and can't talk, which is good because it is rude to your friends that you are hanging out with. Denying her that same right shows that you have no respect for her as an individual, and that is a major problem.

To be bluntly honest, you have to remember that she is your girlfriend, not your possession, and you have absolutely no right to try and control her life. She doesn't exist solely to respond to your texts and phone calls, she has her own life and you cannot realistically expect her to drop everything she is doing to cater to you, just like she shouldn't expect you to do it for her. If I come across really b**chy on this, I am sorry, but I had a boyfriend who was super possessive like that... and yeah, it drove me away and I left him... and it really ended badly.  You already had one relationship go bad because of this, and you recognize that it is an issue, that is good. It's a step towards overcoming it, so hopefully you won't have it end like mine did.

This lockout she imposed is a good thing, because she is asserting herself and making it clear that you need to give her some personal space. It isn't harsh, it is her trying to help you. She gave you a deadline to look forward to - 9pm. Think of it like the same countdown to getting off or work or out of school for the day, because it's basically the same thing. "X hours til I can text her" then "X minutes" then "yay 9pm!" It also gives you all day to experience things and have stuff to talk about rather than 15 million "I miss you" messages... yeah, they are cute once and awhile, but more than that and it is creepy.

Overall, I think that you need to really take a hard look at yourself and find out why you are so insecure in a relationship. Perhaps talk to a counselor... a real one, not a friend, because friends are biased in your favor. You also need to talk with your girlfriend, explain your feelings, let her know that you know it's a problem and you are trying to fix it... and apologize for making her uncomfortable. The two of you can work together to find out how to fix it, and perhaps it will help build a better feeling of trust and respect for you. I wish you the best of luck.

First of all, you do sound kinda paranoid No offense

My brother is in a long distance relationship with his girlfriend. They text each other a few times a day, but they only talk on the phone once a day. Sometimes they only talk every few days. Their relationship has been going strong for over 2 years.

If you're insanely bored, find a hobby of some form. Play a game, watch a movie, do something instead of obsessing over her. Personally, when I need to do thinking, I listen to music. Particularly Indigo Girls. They're music is particularly calming for me which makes it perfect for thinking.