In a deep vast mountain lived a dragon, this dragon lived off the rocks in the cave. He ate nothing but rocks In which had a special crystal a sort of crystal only found in the deepest parts of the earth.many humans had tried to come in to the cave to take some but They all feared the dragon. Volgiri was not a harmful dragon he was quite kind. At nights the dragon felt lonely and scared he would often dig in to the earth enough to leave a small opening of lava to light up the place a bit and keep it warm since he could not breathe fire yet.sometimes he would go out for a flight but only when all the humans were sleeping since they might try to hunt him But one day he was being careless and A little girl saw him, she followed him to the cave where he had been laying down near some lava. the girl let out a scream as she almost fell in one of his little lava patches.volgiri quickly swished his tail covering the patch. He looked at the little girl as she walked towards him,soon he found himself being hugged by her.
she closed her eyes and drifted to sleep, volgiri covering her up with his wings happily.the next morning the both awoke the little girl standing there and as the dragon wondered why she was here she let out an answer."I saw you in the sky flying and followed you." the dragon shocked asked. "you can hear me?" " yes,Can nobody else?" she laughed."only certain people can ones with a pure heart" the dragon standing up spread his wings. the girl looked in awe as she noticed the cave was to small for him to stretch them far enough. "how do you stand staying here? it's not even big enough for you" the little voice asked softly as she pet his little scales."I have no where else to go." The dragon lied down again. "come with me" she said.
The dragon standing up again followed the girl As she led him outside. the dragon coming out of the cave spread his wings all the way. "that better?" she asked."Yes very much but I must not stay out here much longer." "Non sense you can stay out as long as you want, nobody will harm you I'm here." "are you hungry?" he roared. "Just a little." the dragon then lifted up off the ground a little, flicking his tail he lifted the little girl on to his back and flew up. The little girl clinged to the dragon tightly.
"where are we going?"she said scared. "To get you food" soon landing in a little Utopia the little girl noticed a bunch of fruit hanging on a tree, she grabbed some. Putting them down near the dragon she sat down." I don't know what to do with these they are too hard to eat." she pointed out. the dragon then let out a saddened growl, he opened his mouth and tried to let out some fire but It didn't work."I should be getting you home anyway, don't worry." he said. "I don't have a home." she cried.
"the knights and the kind stole my family" the dragon let out an angry roar. "those knights have no business taking away children's families!" as he spoke angrily a small breath of fire burst out. shocked the little girl jumped up in fear. "sorry, I did not mean to scare you.. I scared myself to" The little girl giggled, she stared as the dragon paced back and forth and then asked. "whats wrong?" "Those knights I want to do something about them" he snared, just then an idea came to her head. "We could go to war with them! you and me" The dragon looked at her "that a great idea" you heard my thoughts?" "I guess I did." he smiled lifting up in the air a little and bringing her on to his back with his tail he flew off. " they live in the valley past the great ocean" she pointed, the dragon flapping his great wings sped up. the girl was getting tired and let out a yawn, the dragon dropped down and grabbed a blanket off the line of one of the humans houses. Covering her up with his tail he flew on. " shouldn't you rest to?" she asked. "No, dragons do not need rest." she drifted to sleep. soon enough the dragon was in the valley, he landed a few miles away from the village so the knights would not see them. when dawn came the girl woke up, yawning she said. "where are we?" "the village" the knights soon were awake and walking around, that s when they attacked, a horn blew, knights grabbed their weapons. With one mighty roar the dragon let out a huge breath of fire, The girl riding along with him grabbed one of the fallen swords. screams, roars,A battle to the end was now started. soon only one man stood with an axe of gold, He took one swing and with the mighty blow hitting the dragon. He screamed in pain and flew off crashing to the ground in a forest. The girl crying leaped off and knelt beside the dragon."My dear you were very brave." rushing she grabbed some leaves and water from a little pond. she covered the wounds with the leaves and lied by the dragon, wrapping her with his wings once more he drifted to an eternal sleep.

Wow, not bad for a short story. It's so sad that the dragon died in the end. =(

I would've liked to see you expand the story a bit, though I guess not every story needs expanding. Like why were the people so scared of the dragon? And why did the two try to go to war so hastily? That didn't make much sense at all.

But your stories are improving and getting better. And I liked that it had a lighter tone than your other one, at least in the very beginning. x3

Someone70 : well He is a dragon. wouldn't you be afraid if you walked in to a cave and saw a giant dragon standing there?
and they went to war to stop the knights from stealing the childrens families. =3

You so didn't do this to get the Red Jersey. Nope. Not. At. All.

In all seriousness though, I got the gist of your story.

They are getting better, but you need to put more time into editing and proofreading your own work.

Make the paragraphs a little more spaced out too. Space in a piece will make people more likely to read it, since your work (no offense) looks like a wall of text.

Walls of text often get people afraid to read work since it looks a lot bigger than it actually is.

legacyme3 : No I did not, I wrote it cause I can.
I use http://www.paperrater.com/ that to edit my work
I am not great with writing stuff at all I have said this but I wanted to write some stories since A lot has been going through my head lately.

Your sentences structure and word usage are fine, which is what automated programs like those check for. But there are some problems with the way your quotes are set up, punctuation, and capitalization, which are what I think leggy is referring to.

If you want some examples of how to use quotations properly, you just have to look around in literature a bit.