We have been trying to organize how to see all the family this christmas weekend.  I wanted to see my brother christmas eve, but he's sad that he has no where to go on christmas day.  My step mom hates him more than ever for saying that and also is blaming me for her marriage problems and the death of christmas because I am trying to side with my brother.

I was just trying to convince my brother we could spend all of christmas eve together since I had to see my step mom's mother because she had something for me.  My brother is upset but understands what needs to be done.  My step mom though hates us to no end and it really hurt that she blames me for her and my father not getting along.  I know she thinks it would be wonderful if my brother and I didn't exist so she didn't have to see us.

I try day in and day out to make everyone happy!  I push myself until I collaps and it seems that she is hating me more and more.  My dad is siding with her now and so I am all alone in this dark corner.  I'm at the point that I don't think I will make it until christmas.  I just want to go away!  I litteraly have nothing in my life!  I don't even have a bed room to call my own!  I want to be with my mother right now in heaven so bad!  I can't stand living anymore!  People may say I am selfish but this horror story has been going on since before my mother died.

My step mom never wanted me to see my mom on christmas she would always carry a fit when I decide to see my mother on christmas instead of seeing the step family.   Even if I talked to my real family at get to gethers she would start crying that no one was paying any attention to her!   I just wish she would allow me to be with my real family at least one day of the year!  I'm totaly at lost right now.......  I need help!

This is a very intense story here. I am not going to call you selfish. I can't relate to what you are feeling, but I have an understanding if these feelings. I don't understand why your dad would marry someone who hates his kids though. I would suggest spending time with your brother because he is in the same kind of boat. May I ask why you are unable to live with your real family instead of your stepmother? The living situation is just not good for you. I also see that because of your current pending illness, working so you can get an apartment on your own is not an option. If you can't live with other family, hopefully the doctors find out that what is wrong isn't a long fix so you can get back to work. It just seems to me that you have to find some way to have a different living arrangement. But I do not know your complete life situation, so I might be suggesting something that is not possible for you

I'm not sure how much help I can give you for something this serious, but if you ever wish to talk, I'm all ears/eyes. 

Your step"mother"  is being ridiculous if she blames all her problems on you. It's her marriage, not yours, anything that doesn't go right, is on her. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Just by blaming you, she's pretty much saying that she knows it's her fault but needs a scapegoat so she can sleep at night.

Don't be nice to her. Don't be mean to her either. Just act like whatever she does has no effect on you. If you want your brother there for Christmas Eve, make it happen. Don't let her stop you. Be strong, sister. You are so full of love and people like your stepmother fear that. 

rcarter2 :   Well when she and my dad got together they were different people.  My dad had a huge inheritance from my grand father.  My step mom was happy to have a guy with lots of money and who was verry funny.  She had no idea my dad can't keep a job so she used up all the money and got both of them into bankrupsie.  This is the same time they also adopted a newborn baby from a friend of the family.  So we have extream debt, a child to take care of, I am ill and can't move out atm, and my dad has a broken arm so he can't do things he used to for her.  This makes a toxic ill enviroment for everyone.  Plus with my step mom's need for attention and have everything go her way it's hell hard for her to allow others to make decisions on what is going on.

She also expects that I have absolutly no emotion I get yelled at if I am happy or upset.   Gah I can't keep my thoughts straight sorry if none of this makes sense!


NotJon : I would love to talk, but you are not on my friends list.  Can I add you?

Don't worry, you are making complete sense. I know how it feels to be used as an emotional punching bag. It is never right, and I wish it would be easy just to not let her get to you. I know it doesn't work that way. This is just one more reason why I hope that whatever is wrong with you physically turns out to be an easy fix. I don't think anything but finding a way to get yourself out of there is going to fix this. But for right now, do you have any friends that you can talk to for support? If you would like any extra, I'm always willing to talk too. 

At this point I would do this
1) Ignore your step mom
2)Go visit your mom and or other family to get away from the toxic envirenment, you could even bring your brother with you
3)figure the rest out later

wether or not this is the best answer well... Im not sure
I do agree with what Notjon is saying though

After looking over everything said here, I am wondering the same thing as FullmetalMan. Is there any chance you can get through to your father? If so, that seems like a good starting point. However, if he continues to side with your good-for-nothing step... I'm not even going to call her a step-mom. She doesn't even deserve that title. If your dad continues to side with "that woman," you need to get away from both of them as soon as you can. Seeing as this has been going on for a while, I would abandon hope for making "that woman" happy. I know what it's like to try to make everyone happy and nothing succeeds. I think rcarter2 has it down. And if you need someone else to talk to you can PM anyone here, including me.

Well all of us talked to each other last night.  We all agreed to back off each other.  It is also determined that with the help of my doctor and minister that I will find a new place to live next year.  Thankfully that my minister is involved, he always keeps my step mom and father in check.  When they start to go nuts on me he's always there to help me out.

Sorry I couldn't post this last night, I was too sick to stay up and post.  >.< I got the cold that's been going around...

As I said in your other thread, I'm glad to hear that you have an external source who will be able to help you out. You deserve better, and it just sucks that your current health condition doesn't allow you to do anything about it. Hang in there. Things will change eventually.

Well I can say that make you someone of yourself and be strong am sure your mum would have always wanted you be ..strong, brave, courageous and always a winner.

Gather all your courage and try to construct a new life am sure you will be able to do it....It is a very big thing to have life itself...don't lose it like this...[UNTIL THE TIME YOU DON'T MOVE YOU NEED TO REFRESH YA MIND]...just go a little far from ya house (secure) ..like a park.....then you will be able to refresh ya mind...and focus...you need to get concentration....then you will achieve peace of mind WHILE YOU WILL be away from ya house ...see good things around you ...It is just a way to keep a relaxed mind in that atmosphere of tension....because you are in a sort undergoing a trauma.....


"It is also determined that with the help of my doctor and minister that I will find a new place to live next year."..... ....Am very happy for you I sincerely pray to God you get all joys in life ..am sure you will get a better life fully satisfied.....just please please don't lose courage ..I will pray for you....