I know I've told some people this before and I don't mean to annoy anyone by making this thread but I just wanted to explain some things and also maybe give some more information on some of the illnesses I suffer with, meaning the mental illnesses.

So here goes...

Some of you know that I have PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). I'll post a link at the end to help you read about it when you feel up to reading or if you want to read about it. Also I have depression and anxiety. I know most people know what depression and anxiety is so I don't really have to explain that. But in the link, if you read about PTSD, it'll explain why I react the way I do sometimes. And if you read my thread here then you'd understand that I've had more than one traumatic event, and with PTSD, you tend to at times relive the event when someone will do something that triggers the memory and it's like you're living it over again. 

I think I just wanted everyone to understand me more and I apologize for my mood swings. I do try my best not to have them but sometimes it's not something I can control. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Here is a link talking more about PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder): http://helpguide.org/mental/post_traumatic_stress_disorder_symptoms_treatment.htm

Honestly, Sunflower, you have nothing to apologize for. You cannot help having this condition, and you didn't ask for it. Anyone that does not understand that and insults you is being insensitive. I am sure that the majority of people here understand the effort that you are making, and I think that the fact this is a message board with written words probably makes it easier for you to handle since you can calm down and take your time when you reply to things.

I've had my own traumatic experiences, though not quite on the same level as you, but it is enough that I can empathize with how you must be feeling. I always felt a little alone when I realized how much people just did not understand, and I got frustrated when it seemed that they did not want to try. The good thing is that we have a really nice community here where a lot of people DO try and that makes a world of difference. I had friends to help me move on from my ordeals, and you have all of us to help you move on from yours.

Elara : Thank you so much for your caring words. I'm happy to know there is someone that understands me. I just wish there were more people like you in this world.

You are most welcome. And don't worry, there are plenty of people that understand, though they might not always let you know.

Elara : That's true. Again thanks for your support. It means a lot to me.

As Elara said, you have nothing to apologize for and people really need to be more aware of what PTSD is; especially because a lot of soldiers are coming home with it. My stepdad has it actually and it has majorly effected my life. I think it is one of the main reasons he was so physically rough with me as a child(basically borderline abusive). Every where he goes he has to bring his gun, but he can't keep it in the bedroom because he would shoot my mom. If he wakes up suddenly he will grab anything within reach and throw it. The last thing he needs in there is a gun. After years of doing nothing about it, he has finally started getting some help. Facing his problem has actually made his symptoms worse, so worse that he can't really stand being in public places sometimes. They have talked about putting him on meds, but so far he doesn't want to do it.
So trust me, I understand your situation and I'm glad that you're confronting your illness. It will help you get better.

rlmathias01 : WOW that must be hard to have to deal with. I remember before I got on medication for my PTSD, I would get violent outbursts like that as well. I was 16 at the time and was in major denial of having the illness. I'm 30 now and I am better than I was but I was told by my psychiatrist, that with all the trauma I had in my young life, it can be controlled but not cured. But hey at least I am better than what I was back then.

Even just a little progress is a good thing. Luckily I'm in college now, so I'm only around during breaks and even then I try to stay out of his way. Lately he's seemed a little better, but I'm still hoping he'll try the medication. I think he's just scared and in denial.
I hope you continue to get better.

rlmathias01 : Thanks. I hope your Dad's on his way to recovery as well. It's a long hard battle and for some it's never really over.

I hope that you recover soon and you have a better life as you wish.

seanne: Aww thank you, I really appreciate that.

You have nothing to apologise for, this is what PTSD is. So, I personally hope you can recover from this, maybe things will get much better soon.

pacman1755 : Thank you. I appreciate that.