What do you guys think about my new story?

The world has fairly recently went through an apocalyptic world war. The Washington D.C. Area has a large shield over it and it's surrounding area. It is the only part of the world that is still preserved. Famous businesses have moved there long before. The surrounding area other than D.C. Itself is now like a second Las Vegas with part of it on the outside with casino games giving entrance to under the shield where you can be safe. The outside is where these events start. The screen goes to a kid, about 13 years of age. He is living in a rundown house, still standing from before the war. He meets his friends, one 13 year old boy and one 14 year old girl. The boy will be known as Rob, the girl as Liz and the main character as Chance (these will be changed if you take the story). Rob has a crush on Liz, and Liz has a crush on Chance, but they are oblivious to these facts. They play, and Chance goes to bed. Some army people come with flamethrowers and they burn down a small part of the village with Rob spearheading the attack. Chance confronts him with Rob saying he is a traitor and he destroyed his country. However, Liz comes in and blocks Chance from Rob's firearm. Rob loves Liz and cannot shoot her so Chance gets away. Liz is taken by the army for Rob's punishment. Chance is found by "War" which is a call sign from Britain's navy, the nation still at war with America. War teaches Chance how to fight and how to use his abilities (magic). Chance decides to save other people from the despair he felt and is led to NYC, the city with the most crime and violence. He saves this city, but realizes that he cant do that to every city in the U.S. War leads him to believe that if he takes down the shield over D.C. And lets everyone in that everyone can lead a prosperous life. Chance does this, but does not realize that War was using him to lead an assault on D.C. With the whole NYC recruited for the attack behind Chance's back for his help. Britain comes to aid in War's assault, but the assault is stopped by aggravating Liz by hurting Chance. Liz also has talents and hers destroy both armies. Chance is saddened by the loss of so many people that his sadness manifests itself as a horrible monster. War was using the whole conflict to call this monster and leaves. The story then goes to Rob who goes with the U.S. Army to eliminate terrorists in a nuclear testing facility. The "terrorists" turn out to be innocent British citizens, but the army brutally eliminates them anyway. Rob then turns to Britain for work in their army. He shows up with his squad at the assault on D.C. And goes to the White House, now prison, to retrieve Liz.. He finds and saves her. As they ride back on a helicopter to Britain, he asks her on a date. She declines, after all that Rob went through. He is so angry he becomes a monster similar to the one born of Chance's sadness. Rob saved Liz, but it was at the same time as Liz was with Chance...... How could she be in two places at once?

If you don't like it at all, please say so.

I'm guessing this is more like an outline for a story, but it has a very interesting premise. The only thing I'm kinda iffy about is the whole monster-transformation thing. It seems a bit out of place when compared to the seriousness of the rest of the story. But like I said, the story itself sounds interesting and I hope you refine it to completion.

Thanks for the feedback! Are you iffy about both of the monster things or just one of them? Either way, it is pretty easy to work around.

It seems Interesting, I help my sister write her short stories every now and then so to me it looks very good. I can't wait to see the completed product, cause it must be good if the little bit you posted got me interested.