Well I'm really nervous about this. I hope I don't scare you guys away. Well here goes nothing. -Nervous laugh-

I have three different mental diagnoses. I have bipolar, Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder(ADHD) , and Border Line Personality disorder(BLPD).
I have trouble making friends because of my bad social skills. Which lead me to games.
When I was in my younger age me and my mom were homeless. So we went to stay with this lady. My mom went to work from 4 to midnight at the gas station. I barley got to see her and the lady we lived with beat me and locked me in me and my moms room without privilege to the rest of the house. Because of this, I went to therapy when I was six and the therapist said she couldn't work with me cause I was that bad off. So I got more professionals that came and gone over the years. But yet I'm still in therapy to this date. They put me on medication.
My school life was horrible. I always got made fun of. One of my therapist said it seemed I had this aura around me that people didn't like. This made me think. I became a bully getting in fights at school. I made fun of people to feel better about myself. I regret it to this date. It was till high school that I stopped that. But once again I lost my temper and I punched a wall in tenth grade. They sent me home on "medical leave" for 2 and a half months. Thats when my depression got real bad. So bad they sent me to a partial hospitalization. I went there for during the day then I came home. For once in my life, I felt like I fit in. But even there, someone was out to get me. I ended up getting in yet another fight. They sent me to a psych ward for that. I went to psych wards like that eleven times during four years for self abuse, suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts. But I'm getting a head of my self.
Back to the story. In the middle of tenth grade after my incident at my old high school and my medical leave, they sent me to a new high school. I was put into Emotionally Impaired Special Ed. I wasn't in special ed at my old high school cause they lacked it. During my time there I went to the hospital to escape that dreadful place.
When I was in my twelfth grade year, I was a bit of an outcast. To hide my true feelings of my loneliness, I decided to be my own person, so I brought a boom box to school like they did in the eighties and early nighties. I ended up getting the wrong attention. When I mean wrong, I mean no real friends. I learned people only liked me for my boom box. I ended up testing them and I didn't bring it for a week and people ended up forgetting about me but one friend ended up staying as my friend. She's a big fan of Pokemon like me.
Thank you for hearing my story. And I hope I didn't scare you away..

I think a few members of this site can relate with you. I am likely bipolar (never tested), have ADD, and GAD/SAD (we aren't sure which at this point).

I also have trouble making friends, which leads me to games myself.

Your story saddens me, and while my story isn't as relevent, I am the black sheep of my family. I don't get along with my brother, sister, mom, or step father. Hell, my mom lied to me about my real dad for 18 years. I barely know him myself.

They also had me be the maid so often, and as a result, I grew to detest my family. Needless to say, I'm living with my grandmother now, and she is perfect to me.

I occasionally have suicidal thoughts, the most recently three days ago.

I hadn't had social interaction with anyone for about a week. It was real torture, because even I have managed to find a way to talk to people. But for the past week, I was basically silent. I didn't say one word audibly. It was getting so bad that I felt no one loved me, and I contemplated killing myself. Took my girlfriend (and fiancee) to convince me otherwise, and I'd say I'm fine right now.

Depression is no joke, but nearly everyone I know suffers from it now, including me, I suffer from major/severe depression and they put me on Lexapro for a while.

I can't say I've ever lost my temper, because I'm a pretty calm and collected guy, I've never hit anyone or anything out of anger, only out of self defense.

Sorry to hear about yourproblems =/ But it doesn't scare me away, because in a roundabout way, I suffer from a lot of the things you say you have.

That's a relief. I never met my real father myself. I heard he was messed up in the head though. What did your mom lie about him about? Oh yeah I was also on Lexapro for a while. Didn't like it. It made me feel.. What is the right way to say this.. Hollow. It made me feel like I wasn't my self anymore and I had no feelings for my self or for anyone. What was Lexapro's effect on you? And that's good you're calm. Real good actually. And it sucks for the maid crud. I have chores but not that bad where I'm a maid. =( I'm very sorry to hear that. And that's good your girlfriend convinced you not to do it. Even though I attempted it so many times I feel ashamed and realize it's not worth it. Good for you. =)

Wow,and I thought I had... never mind.Its sad though, but hey dont worry it I kinda face the same problem I dont have real friends except for 4 of them, they like me.Well anyways whenever Im angry I hear music,not metallica or anything like that I hear zelda songs from majoras mask and ocarina of time,when ever I hear them is like your problems just wash away... being in those golden ages makes you feel happy and not angry!Just be yourself dont try to change they will eventually like you.Well I actually never had REAL friends in 1,2,3,4,5 grade and since there was nothing outside to do or go to someones home that lead me to videogames for about 4 years.I became angry..I started to hate everyone and started to act weird..I was getting crazy because I was always inside I didnt even touch the door soo... yeah.Well if theres something learned is that one REAL friend is worth more than cheap-ass friends.Few days back I was depressed no one understood me, I felt worthless so know that I have friends I dont feel so worthless.
Oh dont worry!Happiness is where you atleast expect it!


If you want someone to talk to feel free to talk to me I would gladly help.
(or help the best I can)

HERES SOMETHING TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETER, FOUR HAPPY FACES.

Gee thanks. I'm starting to think about putting my skills to the use. You'll see in a few minutes.

I'm not scared. We all have troubles that we have to deal with. Some have more than others. You sound like a really nice guy who just got a lot of bad breaks. I'm no doctor, but it just sounds like you don't need professional help, drugs, or any of that; just a few good friends. I can be your friend, man. I've met some very nice people online and I'd love to include you in that list.

Thanks everybody. I appreciate your support. =3

I didn't get scared away Your troubles and hardships have made you the good person that you are today. It's through those hardships that you stand here doing what many people can't. Thanks for the insight into your life, it was very emotionally taxing.

I hope you do great in the years to come

Maybe you could go to some school for people who have your condition if there is one

icrazyforpokemon : I'm going to a college for people like me. It's going to be different. I hope for the better.

You seem like a normal person....i hope too see you later in chat.

Thanks for sharing your story I hope your doing better now.