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553
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Creator
Totts
01-10-11 08:45 AM
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XxChaosxX
01-20-11 12:58 AM
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Shivering in the cold

 

01-10-11 08:45 AM
Totts is Offline
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| ID: 310452 | 72 Words

Totts
Level: 95


POSTS: 1025/2427
POST EXP: 184908
LVL EXP: 8448986
CP: 15977.8
VIZ: 1512653

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
I wrote a song today and it is like a poem I once heard as a child.

As I walk alone,
I wonder,
I am wondering,
Will this ever,
This suffering,
End Between me and you

Now as I walk these streets,
I shiver,
I am shivering,
This warmth missing,
The one I felt with you

Together
No suffering
Together
no suffering
toghether no ending
Just the begining of us we two.
I wrote a song today and it is like a poem I once heard as a child.

As I walk alone,
I wonder,
I am wondering,
Will this ever,
This suffering,
End Between me and you

Now as I walk these streets,
I shiver,
I am shivering,
This warmth missing,
The one I felt with you

Together
No suffering
Together
no suffering
toghether no ending
Just the begining of us we two.
Member

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 08-23-10
Location:
Last Post: 2627 days
Last Active: 2061 days

01-20-11 12:58 AM
XxChaosxX is Offline
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| ID: 314648 | 34 Words

XxChaosxX
Level: 92


POSTS: 1120/2260
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LVL EXP: 7616659
CP: 121.9
VIZ: 99150

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
I like this poem. It's simple yet meaningful. You didn't add in a bunch of complicated metaphors and ridiculous comparisons like some poets do. It's well written, but it is also understandable. Nicely done.
I like this poem. It's simple yet meaningful. You didn't add in a bunch of complicated metaphors and ridiculous comparisons like some poets do. It's well written, but it is also understandable. Nicely done.
Trusted Member
The lover of CHERRY PIE!


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 07-22-10
Location: Kentucky
Last Post: 3702 days
Last Active: 3701 days

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