TOO MUCH TIME

At the root of insanity
Is having too much time on your hands--
Too much time to think--
Too much time to remember past hurts
And to wish things could be different.

Too much time spent alone,
Staring at these four walls
With too much time to think,
To remember past hurts
And to wish things were different.

Got to rid myself of this insanity.
I'll busy myself with a flurry of activities
And seek the companionship of others.
They´ll tell me time heals all wounds,

But for now I'll still cry--
When I have too much time to think
And remember past hurts,
Wishing things are different.

It's easier for you to walk away, than it is for you to reach out to me.
It's easier for you to look away, than it is for you to see the depth of my despair.
It's easier for you to look through me, than it is for you to see "me."
It's easier for you to distance yourself, than it is for you to really care.
It's easier for you to hear, than it is for you to listen.
It's easier for you to judge, than it is for you to understand.
It's easier for you to label, than it is to get acquainted.
It's easier for you to bask in your joy, than it is for you to feel my pain.
It's easier for you to bewilder at my mysteries, than it is for you to probe deeply into the depths of my soul.


It's easier for me to look away, than it is to let you see the feelings betrayed through my eyes.
It's easier for me to cry, than it is for me to talk.
It's easier for me to walk alone, than it is to risk rejection.
It's easier for me to push you away, than it is for me to be held.
It's easier for me to distance myself, than it is to trust that you won´t hurt me.
It's easier for me to die, than it is for me to face life's challenges.


It's hard for me to smile when I am hurting.
It's hard for me to talk when you won't understand.
It's hard for me to reach out when I need help the most.


If only you'd really look at me and see who I am.
If only you cared enough to reach out when I push you away.
If only you'd hold me, without asking why.
If only you'd acknowledge the validity of my feelings.


But it's the easy roads that are most often taken.
And so I hurt alone.

If tonight I die,

Who will cry?
Strangers with their feigned interest,
While those I love have turned away.
And if my best isn't good enough,
What more can I give?
Go ahead--walk away.
Just leave me here alone.
And if tonight I die,
Who will cry?
All my strength is drained,
With nothing left to give.
Drowning in the depths of sorrow,

i dont have depression but when i play video games it makes me feel good unless i loose then i get mad.

Am a bit depressed that no one has posted here in a while, there have been some intersting discussions going on, I am a little preturbed that the discussion seemed to end up focusing on cutting and self harm, I think this may have put people off commenting. I totally understand self-harming, this is not everyones experience of depression however and not a sign of how depressed one is as a badge of honour, not that anyone would ever think this godforbid, but lets put it in some context, depresion affects 1 in 4 people at some time in their lives, for most they get over it, for some with underlying psychological problems and deeper nurosis the problems may go over for year and from childhood.

I would encourage more people to come onto this forum and open up and discuss their feelings and talk more.

Lets not get bogged down in suicide cults, this is not caused by depression anyway but usually where members are abused by a charismatic leader of some kind, its really murder.

It all depends on the game I think.

Depression runs in my family, and I am no different. In fact, my family thinks I have it the worst (thanks to not having a father for 7 years at the beginning of my life, living on the poverty line, having an inability to talk to people [think shyness, ut worse, I literally CANT talk to other people unless I trust them])

Anywho, the game itself has an effect on depression. Some games make me feel less depressed, and some make me more so depressed. Take Sonic Adventure 2 Battle. That lessened depression for me, but a game like Resident Evil 2 made it worse. A sports game makes it better, but then a shooter makes it worse. I think its related to the intensity of the game itself.

I have had a small history of depression, but I've never had to worry about videogames affecting my depression, in fact, if anything it lessens my stress, making me less depressed. I have not ever had issues with people thinking I'm a nerd or anything either, so that's another thing I can check off my list.

fightorace : Well then motivate yourself to go something and log onto viz!!! Depression is only temporary...Viz is forever!! LOL, help that helps soothe your depression.....play super smash brothers and take your aggression out that way.

I remember with me, I got my video games taken away a few years a ago because of poor grades in Jr High, and I got all depressed over it and it felt like going through a with drawl, so I'm thinking yeah it can cause depression.

YourMajestyKen : Super Smash Brothers, thanks will check out that game, sounds good.

I don't get depressed. I get sad, but I don't get depressed. I've only been depressed once in my life and I didn't like how it felt so I'm gonna try to never do it again. Video games make me happy and irritated sometimes but nothing else.

its not the games themselves but how long people play them. if someone plays games all day every day then they probably don't have much of a social life. people might feel depressed if they don't interact with their peers. they might feel like they don't have any friends.