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Death Wish
This is about a secret wish to die.
This is about a secret wish to die.
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09-08-21 11:28 PM
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Death Wish
09-08-21 11:28 PM
Clean is Offline
| ID: 1392882 | 315 Words
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I have secretly had a death wish for a very long time. I want to know if others have had one too or still have one. A discussion about how everyone’s wish differs from one another or other things about this topic ETC.
It’s a made up term that I made up in my head because there isn’t a term that I know of that fits my definition of this. It is not Suicide because some people’s wish is for complete accidents to happen to them. It is not assisted suicide for the same reason. A death wish is when you are too afraid to kill yourself, but you secretly wish for something to happen to you that will end your life. Some examples are natural disasters, being killed by someone (murdered, hit by a car, etc.), accidental death (parachute doesn’t open, a rope breaks, plane crash). In general you want to die by ways that are not in your control or in situations where you can relinquish the control to someone or something else. To clarify if I were kidnapped I believe I would encourage the kidnapper to kill me because I think I would want them to kill me. If the boat died at sea I wouldn’t try to survive for too long. If I were dying of cancer I would not try to live for long. This is all in my head of course and I don’t really know how I will truly act in these situations. I am generally happy at this point in my life, but I secretly am tired and wish for it all to end. Who else has this wish? You can private message me if you want to. I don’t know if I will reply to the messages or this thread. I am usually distracting myself all the time. Feel free to let your wish be known… It’s a made up term that I made up in my head because there isn’t a term that I know of that fits my definition of this. It is not Suicide because some people’s wish is for complete accidents to happen to them. It is not assisted suicide for the same reason. A death wish is when you are too afraid to kill yourself, but you secretly wish for something to happen to you that will end your life. Some examples are natural disasters, being killed by someone (murdered, hit by a car, etc.), accidental death (parachute doesn’t open, a rope breaks, plane crash). In general you want to die by ways that are not in your control or in situations where you can relinquish the control to someone or something else. To clarify if I were kidnapped I believe I would encourage the kidnapper to kill me because I think I would want them to kill me. If the boat died at sea I wouldn’t try to survive for too long. If I were dying of cancer I would not try to live for long. This is all in my head of course and I don’t really know how I will truly act in these situations. I am generally happy at this point in my life, but I secretly am tired and wish for it all to end. Who else has this wish? You can private message me if you want to. I don’t know if I will reply to the messages or this thread. I am usually distracting myself all the time. Feel free to let your wish be known… |
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09-09-21 08:29 AM
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I had my years in the past where I could care less if a piano crashed on my head while walking down the street. I still go back to that "zero f***s given" mentality when under tough circumstances, like you say I'm not the kind to think of suicide (not anymore, at least) but I wouldn't be mad at a nuclear bomb falling from heaven above.
I don't really have a specific wish, but I do know I'm not afraid of something happening to me. I've been close to death already and my life is a constant fight against myself, so ending that misery is an idea that always floats in my head. However, I've also come to appreciate the pleasures of life, so before I leave this world behind I'll try to make the most of every minute I spend in it and thus have no regrets when the countdown hits zero. I've recently joined a group of friends who are "heavy wishers of death", so to speak. We all are generally happy with our lives and have future projects in mind, but if someone wrote our names in the Death Note we'd only care about dying in a painful way. I could get so many ideas from them for this thread because in all our conversations and meetings we often throw in death wish comments. I don't really have a specific wish, but I do know I'm not afraid of something happening to me. I've been close to death already and my life is a constant fight against myself, so ending that misery is an idea that always floats in my head. However, I've also come to appreciate the pleasures of life, so before I leave this world behind I'll try to make the most of every minute I spend in it and thus have no regrets when the countdown hits zero. I've recently joined a group of friends who are "heavy wishers of death", so to speak. We all are generally happy with our lives and have future projects in mind, but if someone wrote our names in the Death Note we'd only care about dying in a painful way. I could get so many ideas from them for this thread because in all our conversations and meetings we often throw in death wish comments. |
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09-09-21 08:43 AM
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Before I get into my whole post just wanted to let you know I moved the thread to cafe corner cause it seemed to serious for general.
Any who while I don't currently have a death wish I used to in the past I guess my wish on how to go out was for my diabetes to take me out in my Any who while I don't currently have a death wish I used to in the past I guess my wish on how to go out was for my diabetes to take me out in my |
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09-16-21 03:06 AM
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It feels like a relief to know that there are others out there who have the same thoughts. I've hidden it inside for so long that I felt alone. My husband has a different view point of this whole thing.
He embrasses death. If it comes for him he will not be afraid. He will welcome death and dine with it with a glass of red wine so to speak. Then leave the diner while paying the price. Isn't it a hard thing to understand? It is like we can't take our lives outright but yet are we afraid of death? I am not sure I am afraid of death or not... I have not been able to kill myself. I once went to a baseball park in the dead of night and took pills with me and a knife. I was going to take the pills and then slit my wrists. But I lay there for a couple of hours paralyzed and not wanting to feel the pain of the knife and knowing there was a chance the pills would not work. I thought of all the people I know who would question why I killed myself because I seem like a happy person. It would bring dread and death to people who do not deserve to feel the impact of my actions upon myself. It's a wish washy subject in my head but a for sure thing that I want to be relieved of this life. He embrasses death. If it comes for him he will not be afraid. He will welcome death and dine with it with a glass of red wine so to speak. Then leave the diner while paying the price. Isn't it a hard thing to understand? It is like we can't take our lives outright but yet are we afraid of death? I am not sure I am afraid of death or not... I have not been able to kill myself. I once went to a baseball park in the dead of night and took pills with me and a knife. I was going to take the pills and then slit my wrists. But I lay there for a couple of hours paralyzed and not wanting to feel the pain of the knife and knowing there was a chance the pills would not work. I thought of all the people I know who would question why I killed myself because I seem like a happy person. It would bring dread and death to people who do not deserve to feel the impact of my actions upon myself. It's a wish washy subject in my head but a for sure thing that I want to be relieved of this life. |
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01-18-22 11:32 PM
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Can't say I have ever experiences something like this. I don't like the topic of death and I usually try to avoid it as much as I can. Live an ignorant happy life I suppose.
I have had thoughts of 'I hope I get ill tomorrow so I don't have to take this test' but nothing that would cause more damage to me than a broken foot. Not to say I haven't thought about death at all, that would be silly. I've just never had an underlying wish or acceptance for it. I do think it's normal though. Or at least, it's not weird or bad. I can't control what others think so my only response to this if it were a person close to me having these thoughts would be telling them I love them. It turns into a problem when these thoughts turn into desires so I just want to prevent that scenario. I have had thoughts of 'I hope I get ill tomorrow so I don't have to take this test' but nothing that would cause more damage to me than a broken foot. Not to say I haven't thought about death at all, that would be silly. I've just never had an underlying wish or acceptance for it. I do think it's normal though. Or at least, it's not weird or bad. I can't control what others think so my only response to this if it were a person close to me having these thoughts would be telling them I love them. It turns into a problem when these thoughts turn into desires so I just want to prevent that scenario. |
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01-28-22 03:35 PM
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First of all I am a Christian. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for me. I have accepted him as my savior, so according to my faith I will be in Heaven with Jesus when my time comes.
There was a time in my life when I wanted God to take me. That was when I had a brain tumor. When I was 24 years old I had a brain tumor that was causing me all kinds of problems and severe pain. I would have blackouts, numbness in my legs and hands, mood swings, temporary blindness, and extreme pain. I was wanting God to put me out of my misery. Especially after the surgeon told me. If I do not get this tumor your going to die. There is also a chance you could die on the operating table. Thanks to God he guided the surgeon's hand and I am still here. But that was the time in my life that I wanted to be put of out my misery. There was a time in my life when I wanted God to take me. That was when I had a brain tumor. When I was 24 years old I had a brain tumor that was causing me all kinds of problems and severe pain. I would have blackouts, numbness in my legs and hands, mood swings, temporary blindness, and extreme pain. I was wanting God to put me out of my misery. Especially after the surgeon told me. If I do not get this tumor your going to die. There is also a chance you could die on the operating table. Thanks to God he guided the surgeon's hand and I am still here. But that was the time in my life that I wanted to be put of out my misery. |
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