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Marcmoney
10-07-20 02:12 PM
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Relationship Advice

 

10-07-20 02:12 PM
Marcmoney is Offline
| ID: 1387481 | 248 Words

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Hi everyone. I know it’s been a long time since I’ve gotten on here. I need your help on figuring out what this problem is.
Now my friend is struggling in a relationship that he doesn’t understand what he needs to do to improve the relationship.
He seems to have a partner that always thinks he is lying about everything and that he is being shady. He’s done so many things to trust him by doing a lot of things his partner wants to make him feel comfortable. From what I noticed, I see that he will go do something and his partner would say things like “what did you put in your pocket?” “What did you just do?” He responds to his question and yet he doesn’t believe him. He would check his pockets to see and he will state that he put something in his pocket, which he didn’t. Or if he did, it wasn’t what he thought he saw. This goes on constantly. His partner is getting to the point to where he might start losing his mind and still thinks that he is always lying to him and being shady and sneaky.
Main question is....what should my friend do? Is this a toxic relationship? Is this manipulation of some sort?
Also, he won’t let his partner do anything that isn’t focused on his partner. I see him feeling depressed and confused and I don’t know what to do. Let me know please. Thank you.
Hi everyone. I know it’s been a long time since I’ve gotten on here. I need your help on figuring out what this problem is.
Now my friend is struggling in a relationship that he doesn’t understand what he needs to do to improve the relationship.
He seems to have a partner that always thinks he is lying about everything and that he is being shady. He’s done so many things to trust him by doing a lot of things his partner wants to make him feel comfortable. From what I noticed, I see that he will go do something and his partner would say things like “what did you put in your pocket?” “What did you just do?” He responds to his question and yet he doesn’t believe him. He would check his pockets to see and he will state that he put something in his pocket, which he didn’t. Or if he did, it wasn’t what he thought he saw. This goes on constantly. His partner is getting to the point to where he might start losing his mind and still thinks that he is always lying to him and being shady and sneaky.
Main question is....what should my friend do? Is this a toxic relationship? Is this manipulation of some sort?
Also, he won’t let his partner do anything that isn’t focused on his partner. I see him feeling depressed and confused and I don’t know what to do. Let me know please. Thank you.
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10-08-20 02:29 PM
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| ID: 1387484 | 131 Words

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That is in fact a toxic mindset. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure your friend's partner isn't horrible like that to everyone, but in relationships, some people get extremely jealous. It's clear that your friend's partner thinks he's sneaking around. It's not important whether or not it's a play for control, as it's something that shouldn't be happening to begin with. The more power your friend gives by complying with all of his partners demands, the more demands his partner will have. I would recommend getting out of the relationship, as things like jealousy make people dangerous, but even after cutting ties, I would watch my back. Could he salvage a relationship like this? It's possible. Is it worth trying and risk going even deeper into the rabbit hole? Absolutely not.
That is in fact a toxic mindset. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure your friend's partner isn't horrible like that to everyone, but in relationships, some people get extremely jealous. It's clear that your friend's partner thinks he's sneaking around. It's not important whether or not it's a play for control, as it's something that shouldn't be happening to begin with. The more power your friend gives by complying with all of his partners demands, the more demands his partner will have. I would recommend getting out of the relationship, as things like jealousy make people dangerous, but even after cutting ties, I would watch my back. Could he salvage a relationship like this? It's possible. Is it worth trying and risk going even deeper into the rabbit hole? Absolutely not.
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10-15-20 11:25 AM
Minuano is Offline
| ID: 1387547 | 162 Words

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This is 100% toxic and absolutely manipulation, and your friend should scram ASAP. The lying issue is one thing and I wasn't really going to immediately go for "break up" with that, but when I read "he won't let his partner do anything that isn't focused on his partner", it was a pretty solid answer.

Without being too much of an armchair psychologist, there are various reasons why someone can act this way - deflection (perhaps the partner is cheating), or general distrust in others due to past trauma. If you say your friend has tried working it out with his partner already then I can assume he's already tried reasonable efforts to get his partner to open up on why he's acting that way.

TL;DR: Your friend needs to leave. As penny said, any efforts put into saving that relationship probably aren't worth it. Nobody is worth wasting mental energy for if you're just receiving harm (mental or physical) in return.
This is 100% toxic and absolutely manipulation, and your friend should scram ASAP. The lying issue is one thing and I wasn't really going to immediately go for "break up" with that, but when I read "he won't let his partner do anything that isn't focused on his partner", it was a pretty solid answer.

Without being too much of an armchair psychologist, there are various reasons why someone can act this way - deflection (perhaps the partner is cheating), or general distrust in others due to past trauma. If you say your friend has tried working it out with his partner already then I can assume he's already tried reasonable efforts to get his partner to open up on why he's acting that way.

TL;DR: Your friend needs to leave. As penny said, any efforts put into saving that relationship probably aren't worth it. Nobody is worth wasting mental energy for if you're just receiving harm (mental or physical) in return.
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11-01-20 11:41 PM
tRIUNE is Offline
| ID: 1387769 | 22 Words

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Hmm, I was prepared to give 'you' relationship advice; this is regarding your friend though.

Unfortunately so I cannot give such advice.
Hmm, I was prepared to give 'you' relationship advice; this is regarding your friend though.

Unfortunately so I cannot give such advice.
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11-03-20 09:37 AM
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| ID: 1387776 | 183 Words

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Marcmoney : i have been there before many times. from me, if he need any tips around this big problem, he dm me on discord cloud strife#7569 or on here to message me as well? i know it is hard to says how to deal with this problem but there ways how to fixed it as well. i have done it before many times. it might hard to ended that relationship, but what pennylessz and minuano said. it is bad toxic stuffs as well. it might end up in hospital someday if this keeps going, you know. i think he need someone has been there before and knows about toxic problem it is, that why i have changes since i was 23 year old i was a different person then, now i am in no drama or toxic or manipulation. but, if he need ideas or tips, he can dm on discord or on here. i don't mind talk about it. i know ways to help fixed the problem it might take a while to have a plan in place to see it works.
Marcmoney : i have been there before many times. from me, if he need any tips around this big problem, he dm me on discord cloud strife#7569 or on here to message me as well? i know it is hard to says how to deal with this problem but there ways how to fixed it as well. i have done it before many times. it might hard to ended that relationship, but what pennylessz and minuano said. it is bad toxic stuffs as well. it might end up in hospital someday if this keeps going, you know. i think he need someone has been there before and knows about toxic problem it is, that why i have changes since i was 23 year old i was a different person then, now i am in no drama or toxic or manipulation. but, if he need ideas or tips, he can dm on discord or on here. i don't mind talk about it. i know ways to help fixed the problem it might take a while to have a plan in place to see it works.
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11-13-20 10:49 AM
Kyle! is Offline
| ID: 1387870 | 29 Words

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If you have to ask if a relationship or situation is toxic, odds are it is. Relationships like the one you described usually don't get better in that state.
If you have to ask if a relationship or situation is toxic, odds are it is. Relationships like the one you described usually don't get better in that state.
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