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xxeliza321xx
02-22-16 01:20 PM
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Worried about a group member - help?

 

02-22-16 01:20 PM
xxeliza321xx is Offline
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So there's this girl in my class who isn't exactly friends with me because I used to have a crush on her and I annoyed her & she deleted and unfollowed me online. I've learned my lesson and moved on from the experience for her and haven't spoken to her since.

Problem is, she never responds to my Facebook messages. Even when we were friends at one point from having this other class together, she only responded to me like once on Facebook. This is why I got frustrated her and annoyed her, but from this experience, I learned that I cannot do this. i never got her number but I saw her often in person, at school, just passing & saying hi in the hall at school.

I did not try to add her back on facebook, but I just messaged her and only did that to her because I had a question about a class assignment and wanted a back up person, in case my friend didn't respond. Guess what? My friend responded, but thjs ex-crush didn't. She did not even open my message. They are both in the same group as I am in and because this ex-crush never responds to my Facebook messages, I'm worried about our group work and group communication when we are not at school.

Other group members do not know that this girl and I are on awkward terms. As far as I know right now, they don't know who she is.

Just last class, our professor assigned us groups and that is how I found out who is in my group.

I know you guys may be thinking to just exchange numbers as a group, but I'm not sure about how much this ex crush wants to do with me, much less have my number on her phone. i wouldn't want to have anything to do with myself if I were her & I would have dropped the class by now....

Help? Your thoughts?
So there's this girl in my class who isn't exactly friends with me because I used to have a crush on her and I annoyed her & she deleted and unfollowed me online. I've learned my lesson and moved on from the experience for her and haven't spoken to her since.

Problem is, she never responds to my Facebook messages. Even when we were friends at one point from having this other class together, she only responded to me like once on Facebook. This is why I got frustrated her and annoyed her, but from this experience, I learned that I cannot do this. i never got her number but I saw her often in person, at school, just passing & saying hi in the hall at school.

I did not try to add her back on facebook, but I just messaged her and only did that to her because I had a question about a class assignment and wanted a back up person, in case my friend didn't respond. Guess what? My friend responded, but thjs ex-crush didn't. She did not even open my message. They are both in the same group as I am in and because this ex-crush never responds to my Facebook messages, I'm worried about our group work and group communication when we are not at school.

Other group members do not know that this girl and I are on awkward terms. As far as I know right now, they don't know who she is.

Just last class, our professor assigned us groups and that is how I found out who is in my group.

I know you guys may be thinking to just exchange numbers as a group, but I'm not sure about how much this ex crush wants to do with me, much less have my number on her phone. i wouldn't want to have anything to do with myself if I were her & I would have dropped the class by now....

Help? Your thoughts?
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(edited by xxeliza321xx on 02-22-16 01:51 PM)    

02-22-16 01:25 PM
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I don't want this to sound rude, but it seems like you are obsessing about this person, even though they have made it very clear that they do not want contact with you, at this point, they are using their actions to speak for themselves, which is, that they don't want to contact you. If they did, they would have by now. At this point, it kinda seems like you are just finding excuses to contact them.

Best I can suggest is to talk with that person IN CLASS. Or mention to your teacher that you have issues contacting this person based on your past, and you were wondering what they would suggest.

Honestly, I would be VERY careful of your actions with this person. If I was them, I might start getting kinda freaked out that you haven't gotten the point that they don't want to speak with you.
I don't want this to sound rude, but it seems like you are obsessing about this person, even though they have made it very clear that they do not want contact with you, at this point, they are using their actions to speak for themselves, which is, that they don't want to contact you. If they did, they would have by now. At this point, it kinda seems like you are just finding excuses to contact them.

Best I can suggest is to talk with that person IN CLASS. Or mention to your teacher that you have issues contacting this person based on your past, and you were wondering what they would suggest.

Honestly, I would be VERY careful of your actions with this person. If I was them, I might start getting kinda freaked out that you haven't gotten the point that they don't want to speak with you.
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02-22-16 01:36 PM
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Hey I remember you, how is everything? Still trying for that girl huh? I am sorry, but it won't work at this point its best for both to let her go. You would only make matters worst. There's plenty of people out there.
Hey I remember you, how is everything? Still trying for that girl huh? I am sorry, but it won't work at this point its best for both to let her go. You would only make matters worst. There's plenty of people out there.
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02-22-16 01:46 PM
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Jordanv78 : Sorry for not making this clear - I'm not obsessing over this person & I understand that she has a boyfriend now but I'm just concerned about her being unresponsive to me for the sake of my grade!
Jordanv78 : Sorry for not making this clear - I'm not obsessing over this person & I understand that she has a boyfriend now but I'm just concerned about her being unresponsive to me for the sake of my grade!
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02-22-16 01:46 PM
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Lycan212 : Jordanv78: Sorry for not making this clear - I'm not obsessing over this person & I understand that she has a boyfriend now but I'm just concerned about her being unresponsive to me for the sake of my grade!
Lycan212 : Jordanv78: Sorry for not making this clear - I'm not obsessing over this person & I understand that she has a boyfriend now but I'm just concerned about her being unresponsive to me for the sake of my grade!
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02-22-16 01:48 PM
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xxeliza321xx : I'm saying that they are all in the same. This person has avoided and told you that they don't want contact with you. I don't think the reason why you are contacting them makes any difference.

How about having someone else in the group contact them and coordinate what they will do for the project? Or, as I said before, tell the teacher the situation and see if you can come up with some sort of alternate plan.
xxeliza321xx : I'm saying that they are all in the same. This person has avoided and told you that they don't want contact with you. I don't think the reason why you are contacting them makes any difference.

How about having someone else in the group contact them and coordinate what they will do for the project? Or, as I said before, tell the teacher the situation and see if you can come up with some sort of alternate plan.
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02-22-16 02:00 PM
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Jordanv78 : I like your idea of getting someone else to talk to her for the groupwork. i didn't really think of that before. i don't think telling our professor about this is an option here because we're in college and I can easily see a professor saying that I'm gonna work with people I don't like in life & that is just how life is, as I was told in high school.
Jordanv78 : I like your idea of getting someone else to talk to her for the groupwork. i didn't really think of that before. i don't think telling our professor about this is an option here because we're in college and I can easily see a professor saying that I'm gonna work with people I don't like in life & that is just how life is, as I was told in high school.
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02-22-16 10:47 PM
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Well, I think its a little different if you tell the professor that they are unwilling to work with you rather than working with someone you don't like.
That would be detrimental to both your grades if she is unwilling to talk at all if its concerning the group project.

You might want to mention it to the professor so you could possibly get a partner that will at least talk to you concerning the project.
Well, I think its a little different if you tell the professor that they are unwilling to work with you rather than working with someone you don't like.
That would be detrimental to both your grades if she is unwilling to talk at all if its concerning the group project.

You might want to mention it to the professor so you could possibly get a partner that will at least talk to you concerning the project.
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02-23-16 12:51 AM
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Let us know how things go  when you tell the professor the situation I am in college as well and I know for certain that if there is a situation like that within the group they either A. Make you work in a singular type project, B. Give you another assignment, or C. re arrange the group. Yes college does prepare you for work, but there first priority is academia the main thing is for the class to learn, and if there is an inhibitor to that within the group then they have to address that. 
Let us know how things go  when you tell the professor the situation I am in college as well and I know for certain that if there is a situation like that within the group they either A. Make you work in a singular type project, B. Give you another assignment, or C. re arrange the group. Yes college does prepare you for work, but there first priority is academia the main thing is for the class to learn, and if there is an inhibitor to that within the group then they have to address that. 
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02-23-16 09:36 AM
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Tbh, I'm not sure if I will tell my professor but I will let you guys know how it goes - maybe she'll realize we're in college and just get the work done
Tbh, I'm not sure if I will tell my professor but I will let you guys know how it goes - maybe she'll realize we're in college and just get the work done
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02-24-16 12:56 AM
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I would say either talk to her directly,tell her this is just for our grades,maybe talk about things. But failing that,just work with the others in your group. I would only talk to the professor if this person is ignoring you and is trying to sabotage your work.
I would say either talk to her directly,tell her this is just for our grades,maybe talk about things. But failing that,just work with the others in your group. I would only talk to the professor if this person is ignoring you and is trying to sabotage your work.
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