This was our texting conversation yesterday:

Me: I'm gonna (gun emoji - kill) you if you don't wish me a happy birthday today because we've known each other for almost two whole years.

Lmfao jk!

Her: What? Eliza, that's really weird joking. I don't like that at all. Best wishes to you, but please don't joke like that with me.

Me: Oh, my apologies. I didn't think much of it - people tell me they are going to "kill" me if I don't/do do things to me all the time, but ok, I know now.

I'd call you about this, but I figure it would be bad if you were in class today and you heard your phone ring.

Me (some hours later when I had a chance to text again): But you're right & I see where you are coming from now - death is not a joke.

She read my last two messages, but didn't reply.
She seems upset to me.

I wanted to call her because I thought that would be a better way to apologize to her since our college is huge and I almost never see her in person (like once/twice a semester).

Other Info: She's a friend (but not a best friend) I've known for 2 years, she does NOT know I like her romantically yet (I don't know if shes LGBT or not yet - I was hoping I can sit her down some day and talk to her about being into girls and stuff someday & her Facebook just says "female" but she's LGBT friendly from her social media posts), I told my friends about what happened and we are all shocked at how she replied to me.

Your thoughts about this?
What more can I do here?
Did I ruin any hope of dating her/being more than friends with her, to be honest?

Since I don't know that person intimately, I can't tell. However you were off to a bad start with the gun joke. Unless you are like fingers of the hand (to quote a French expression), avoid such expressions that can be taken in a wrong way.

Your best bet would be to try and contact her directly to see whether you still "have a chance."

janus : Yeah, I was thinking the same thing, especially in regards to the second half of your post; ''Your best...''

I personally think your friend overreacted and it was clear you meant no offense. But they may have had a tragedy in their life and it scarred them. I would say call or meet with her and talk things out. Text is a terrible medium to show joking or sarcasm. First patch up your friendship then worry about getting to know her better.

Oldschool777 : Yeah, I agree. However, I still think its partially my fault though because joking about guns and violence isn't cool; I did not realize I was doing so until later on, as that conversation says.

And as I mentioned, I would have called her, but I did not know when she has classes, so that would have been weird if she heard her phone ring in the middle of a class, wouldn't it?

If you've liked her romantically and it's been two years and she doesn't know, there's no sense in pursuing a romantic relationship.  You'll suddenly spring on her, "Hey, I LIKE like you," and she'll be like, "WTF was the past two years then?  I don't get it."

That'll upset her.

And no one says, "I'll kill you unless you .... whatever."  That's really not cool no matter who says it.  Keep your jokes to whatever the other person has said to you first.

Maybe she's had tragedy in her life and I don't think she overreacted at all.  Her reality is reality.  That's it.  She didn't like it, she was obviously upset because she told you, so let it go and don't do it again.  It doesn't matter if you think she overreacted or not, she simply told you what she was feeling.  You usually won't get that from most people.

Anyway, I don't think you have any kind of shot with her from a romantic standpoint.  Just the way she's texted you, she seems like a friend who is kind of around, and you two aren't close at all, not the way you'd need to develop a relationship like what you may say.

You apologized.  That's enough.  Move on and figure out what you want, if anything.  Don't wait another two years.

Ghostbear1111 : Yeah, that's what I meant from my post above, in saying that this was my fault this time and I've learned my lesson. And yeah, I don't think she feels the same way; I kinda remember how she was a bit flaky a while back when I asked her to hang out as friends some day, now that I think of it.

Not that this matters anymore, but I'm just wondering - you've never heard anyone say things like, "I'm gonna kill her for this!" or "Ugh, my parents are gonna kill me when they get home!"?

You can always call on the weekend,darling. I think she will forgive you,most of us can take a joke. And if she can't,do you really want to be around someone hypersensitive? Just meet or call her on the weekend and sort it out,dear.

Oldschool777 : Are you sure? I think Ghostbear's right - it probably would be a bit awkward to spring on her all of a sudden (& that's why I might have made another thread on here, asking if it would be okay to confess to a girl who I liked of 2 years; I know I asked on Reddit).

But yeah, I definitely would forgive someone if they apologized the way in which I did to her. At least they realized they made a mistake and took time out of their life to apologize and put my feelings into consideration.

It is just a call,it is not a formal meet and greet,dear. Just say hi,what's up.

xxeliza321xx :   Generally, women are not Lesbian or bisexual. If the latest "official figures"(researched by government professionals) are to be believed, between 2 and 4% of the female populace are LBs. It would thus generally be above 95% unlikely for your girl crush to be Les or Bi. Of course, you know her better so you can observe her behavior to give you a better idea of how likely it is. The part where she is friendly with LGBTs may steep odds slightly in your favour. Ask yourself: have I ever seen her kiss other girls? "touch" them? Hold hands with them in an intimate way? Have I even seen her checking out other women while making hungry eyes? If you can answer no to all of these questions, it's unlikely that your fantasy of romance with her will come true. There is, of course, just one way to know for sure. Your idea to get her to sit down with you and talk it out (the straightforward approach) is still the best and most reliable way to find out.

If you ever had a chance with her, it's because she likes you and a little trifle like this text incident cannot deny true love if that's what this is. If you have held onto your crush feelings for two years without letting them go, that's because they are real. Your feelings have to count for something. You owe yourself big time for tormenting yourself over her. A true friend will not freak out when you privately confess your passion to them. You spent the lion's share of two years getting to know one another. The longest-term and most passionate romances erupt from long platonic beginnings. You've already got that going for you and your potential sweetheart. People who have sex within a year of their first meeting never seem to last quite as long in relationships.

I recommend uncommonly admirable bravery. This can happen. Only if you both want it to, of course. If you want to be in a good relationship with anyone, you must first open verbal(vocal, written, anything with words) lines of communication between the two of you. Relationships tend to fail, crumble or never happen when lines of communication are severed.

 P3

Postman3 : Hm okay. But yes, do you have anything specific to say about this specific situation? Should I really blame myself for this?

xxeliza321xx :   No. Of course not. You are feeling so tormented over this. That is something you are doing to yourself whether you want to admit it or not. Stop blaming yourself. There's no way you could have known. Though some women are vindictive and hold grudges for years over trivial things, I believe you should be able to trust a friend to forget something like that ever happened. Girls these days have so many friends that sometimes they cannot message them all back no matter how long they pound the keys of their phone. She may have forgotten it already.

Things could start going a lot better with you and your crush if you get to know her better and communicate more. You'll know how to make her laugh unfailingly if you focus some earnest attention on her.

I am pulling for you. Where can I pick up a Team Eliza T-shirt?

 P3

Postman3 : Hm. Okay. Do you honestly think there's still hope for a romantic relationship to be honest? I kinda don't :/

xxeliza321xx :   I don't know the situation on the ground, soldier. I haven't seen it with my own eyes. You'll have to figure that out for yourselves. That's why I am heavily recommending opening up those lines communication between the two of you. Success in relationships depends very much on how well you communicate.

Right now your crush may not be completely focused on you. While this may be discouraging for you, it doesn't rule out romantic potential. While there is a high likelihood a woman is not a Lesbian or bisexual, you won't know for sure unless you ask. Communicate! Talk to her personally before making a decision. There really isn't any more pertinent information you can gather around here. Go for it.

Women don't really attach even close to as much stigma in their minds to being hit on by Lesbians as they do outright suspicion towards men that try to pick them up. You were ahead of the game even before you became friends with your crush. Now that you are friends it ought to be relatively easy to find out from her whether she's interested in you or women at all.

I hope all this encourages you. I hope you talk to her. I hope you are honest about your feelings. They are more significant than you may realize. A friend will respect you for being open about them with her even if she is not romantically interested. You may walk away disappointed but wouldn't you love to know for sure. Don't live your life wondering what could have been. Take action. A friend will appreciate honesty and emotions. Sure you could lose a little bit if you're wrong about her but you'll lose more every day that you do nothing. Please actualize on whatever potential really exists.

Don't focus on the texting incident. Focus on your friendship as a whole and what could be if she's interested.

 The next time you post here, let's hear that you actually did something.

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