Think my crush was serious here about the girlfriend to be honest?



Its ok if you do.
I'll get over her if she's serious about having this mysterious girlfriend I've never heard of, after talking to her for this long (almost everyday for decent conversation lengths)

I mean, I'm not sure about how serious she's being here because she never replied after I asked her how long they've been together, even after I gave her the option to change the subject.....not even at our seemingly usual 2 am time.....which I guess could mean that she's lying and doesn't have one, or she means me (as in she wishes I was her girlfriend)

I mean, if I, myself, was in a relationship and was her here, I would have just said how long I've been in one and mention how things are going
or just change the subject if I wanted to....

Your thoughts?
Its fine for you to be honest
The more honesty I get, the faster I can face reality and move on

i think you are over thinking it, GF can also just mean friend just like bro can mean friend.

mastergame : Yea my friend said that too, but we're both LGBT, so I think in our context, she'd mean a romantic partner.

You're ove rthinking it, but that doesn't mean you're wrong...

This situation is awkward, no matter how you look at it. I've had friends before who never replied after sending them a message, or even a funny video, and then they're seemingly active again out of the blue. Your friend could act like this as well, but only time will tell.

About the truth of her message... If you really are that close, then she should have let you know about her GF before. Or it could also mean she slipped something she shouldn't have said, which is even more awkward. Again, I've seen friends of mine get isolated as per their romantic partner's interest (I'm adding that word to my dictionary, I like it so much), but it's rare to happen.

You shouldn't think about it much. The least you expect it, she will get back to you. I've seen many of your threads with similar theme to this one, and you are always over thinking situations. Learn to act a bit more naturally and even improvise a little, let some situations happen without planning anything. 

I'm aware that this might make me sound like a jerk but I'm simply dissecting the post to give a reasonable answer. Also, I'm a guy and this seems to be a possible girl-on-girl relationship. Being that I'm not a girl and never have been in a same-sex relationship, this reasoning might be flawed.

We'll need more info than this to really say what is true or not. But this what I gather:

She's usually on a normal sleep schedule. So let us assume, based on your age, that she's either in college or a working young adult. Let us continue assuming that she's the average of either group placing her wake up time at 7am.  Add 7-9 hours of sleep and we'll get a time that's 12am-7am or 10pm-7am. This isn't too far off since she said she was "up" at 12:37 am. This might mean that she spends extra time talking to someone who she thinks is special if its out of that time. The "usual" 2am can mean many different things here but lets just stick to "gf" and you. It could mean that usually she's talking to her "gf" and you happen to be up talking to her at the same time. Her friends are [inconsiderate] bothering her at 2 am, thus keeping her up late. Or you are considered a Good Friend.

The fact she didn't answer could mean she went to sleep. Or (from my experience and I lived with 200+ ladies) She's taking time to think about it means she's thinking about it, but most likely she went to sleep.

You said that you talk to her everyday, but it seems its "online". Usually sleeping times are the first thing to be mentioned when just hanging out with friends  in Real Life(ex: Man, I need a nap because I was up all night doing homework; I haven't slept lately because of stress; {in response to someone else} Yea, dude, I make sure I get enough sleep; I have to sleep or I wouldn't be able to handle this). It's stuff that people talk about all the time without realizing it. Also, these kinds of conversations usually come up earlier in the friendships (considering a 1 year relationship).  Both of these factors puts you in the "not so well known" category and would mean you'd most likely not be the "gf".

In conclusion, you probably over thinking it, just like Mastergame said, when it comes to you being the girlfriend, but there might still be that very small chance you are. However, its more likely your just an online friend.  That doesn't mean she has a girlfriend but rather might have some friends other than you. Only way to find out is to just ask her/tell her you have a crush on her.

WandererExiled : I definitely agree with this & I might end up spilling my beans to her when I see her at school again next semester, depending on how things go with her.

xxeliza321xx :

Well, let her know that you just want to know how she feels. I'd suggest asking if she'd want to have lunch somewhere so you two can not be around friends (which can make things worse if you get rejected). And under no circumstances guilt her for you being rejected. No means no. We don't need anymore TEA abuse going on in the world (that actually stands for many things other than TEA). If she does reject you ask if it'll still be ok as friends that you still care for her, though don't go all "slave" on her. Nobody deserves to be mistreated under any circumstances.

Good Luck!

WandererExiled : Ah okay. But what do you mean by the acronym, ''TEA''? Like, what would be a good actual word for it?

WandererExiled : and should I apologize to her for keeping her up so late and wasting her time since no one really knows what's up about that last conversation, when i talk to her again?
i feel guilty about wasting her time since yea, no one knows what's up with her from what just happened

GF is just something that girls call each other all the time. It's like saying that she's her bestie or something like that. I think you misunderstood what she was saying and took her a little Literally and made her feel too awkward to reply back to you. I can't think of a way to repair the damage as it appears its already done. It seems she's giving you the hint that she no longer wants to correspond with you. I mean I've gone through relationships myself where similar things have happened. I would post a reply like hey "How was your week" and I wouldn't get a reply. It was really weird because we've been constantly texting each other for over a month and all of a sudden she stopped replying for no reason. It wasn't actually a serious relationship. We hadn't dated or anything and it never reached that point. Came to Found out a few days later that she met some guy at a restaurant and she stopped replying because she didn't want to hurt my feelings. That's why there wasn't any closure. I was like beating myself  over it for three days before I found out wondering like "What Did I Say?" "What Did I do wrong"?. It's really not worth it killing yourself over it always worrying about what to say. Handling a relationship is very tricky in that you have to always know what to say and just saying that one thing can ruin it. Just be cool with them and loosen up.

mikouzi93 : I want to politely and honestly disagree with you. We are both out and LGBT, so i'm like 98% sure she means ''girlfriend'' in a romantic sense. We met at our school's queer student union. And knowing her, I'm pretty sure she'd correct me if she meant ''girlfriend'' in a platonic sense, like how straight girls and women use the term, like ''Haha no! I meant a friend, sorry!''

I think you are worried for nothing. But on the other side,just be crystal clear with her. Just ask what does she mean and where you two stand.

xxeliza321xx :
To Learn what TEA is just click the green letters. It'll take you to a YouTube video that explains it.

I wouldn't say you were wasting her time. If she really didn't like talking to you, she would have stop talking to you a long time ago. However, you might have been inconveniencing her. That you should apologize for, but only after asking if you had put her out with your late night conversations.

mikouzi93 :
That was very mean of your friend in my opinion. Like why would someone, even if s/he met a new partner, want to just close all other social relationships? She ended up hurting you a lot more than crushing whatever crush you had.

Thanks for the replies guys! Here's how things went, as in yes, she finally replied!



I'm pretty sure I know who that ''girlfriend'' is now, from that very last message....
I mean, we've known each other for about that long
and I got that text at about 3:30 am, which means she knows me well about that whole ''night owl'' thing!

I mean, I guess it can be some other chick, but I think those chances are slim now.

Your thoughts now?
Any creative reply ideas?

UPDATE: She's dating a mutual friend of ours. That's who she meant

xxeliza321xx :

I hate to crush your hopes, I'm not trying.

The chances of her dating someone else is pretty high compared to her dating you. Yes, there's that small chance that she's talking about you but if she was she'd have told/asked you by now (unless she's really that shy).

The only way to really find out is by asking her, but that's tricky. You could possibly offend he by asking who it is, some folks consider that way too personal. Or you can just try picking out what you can in future conversations (which will drive you insane).

The way I'd approach is by responding like this, "Yea, your lucky! I've been very lonely (for how ever long it's been since you were in a relationship). I really desire a partner I can share my life with."

That will give her the idea that your single and let her open up and talk more about who it is she's dating.