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Mangepic
12-07-15 06:47 PM
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Death Procrastinates

 

12-07-15 06:47 PM
Mangepic is Offline
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| ID: 1224324 | 216 Words

Mangepic
Level: 33


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Likes: 4  Dislikes: 0
Yay! Another dark poem I wanna share with VIzzed!

Death procrastinatesby Mangepic, Literature / Poetry / Human Nature / Free Verse

Have you ever feared death,
the thought,
of no longer existing,
apart from those you know?

Mortals we are,
From Death we can not part.
Our lives so short,
meager and weak.
We fear Death
and attempt to flee.
But Death surrounds us
as it is easy to see.

Or perhaps,
Death, fears us,
our lives so long,
compared to
the things we call animals.
Death welcomes them,
to his realm they go,
but rejects us,
procrastinates,
to avoid us.
Is Death scared?
Of our cruelty and
hate?
Choosing to delight itself
in the innocence of those
creatures, that know no good,
yet no wrong,
running from the task of collecting
our tainted souls?

It seems that we,
are the animals,
those things we call pets,
more human than us.

We kill,
judge,
insult,
steal,
take,
injure.

So I ask again,
Do you fear Death?
Or does Death fear you?

Yeah, I'm a depressing person
Anyways if you want the original: Death Procrastinates - Deviant Art
Comments, constructive criticism would be nice  
Time to start on that vizzed story... I'm procrastinating like Death...
EDIT: Added the stanzas and all that fancy stuff
Yay! Another dark poem I wanna share with VIzzed!

Death procrastinatesby Mangepic, Literature / Poetry / Human Nature / Free Verse

Have you ever feared death,
the thought,
of no longer existing,
apart from those you know?

Mortals we are,
From Death we can not part.
Our lives so short,
meager and weak.
We fear Death
and attempt to flee.
But Death surrounds us
as it is easy to see.

Or perhaps,
Death, fears us,
our lives so long,
compared to
the things we call animals.
Death welcomes them,
to his realm they go,
but rejects us,
procrastinates,
to avoid us.
Is Death scared?
Of our cruelty and
hate?
Choosing to delight itself
in the innocence of those
creatures, that know no good,
yet no wrong,
running from the task of collecting
our tainted souls?

It seems that we,
are the animals,
those things we call pets,
more human than us.

We kill,
judge,
insult,
steal,
take,
injure.

So I ask again,
Do you fear Death?
Or does Death fear you?

Yeah, I'm a depressing person
Anyways if you want the original: Death Procrastinates - Deviant Art
Comments, constructive criticism would be nice  
Time to start on that vizzed story... I'm procrastinating like Death...
EDIT: Added the stanzas and all that fancy stuff

Member
Don't be a salty bagel


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Registered: 07-25-13
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(edited by Mangepic on 12-07-15 09:00 PM)     Post Rating: 4   Liked By: Boured, Ghostbear1111, jnisol, Jordanv78,

12-07-15 06:56 PM
Ghostbear1111 is Offline
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| ID: 1224327 | 21 Words

Ghostbear1111
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Likes: 1  Dislikes: 0
This was really good writing.  I'm impressed.  It's not the tripe that's usually found here.

*golfclap*

Good stuff.  Really good stuff.
This was really good writing.  I'm impressed.  It's not the tripe that's usually found here.

*golfclap*

Good stuff.  Really good stuff.

--------------------
Trusted Member

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 10-10-15
Location: Ann Arbor, Michigan
Last Post: 3130 days
Last Active: 2987 days

Post Rating: 1   Liked By: jnisol,

12-07-15 07:39 PM
Sword Legion is Offline
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| ID: 1224342 | 48 Words

Sword Legion
Sword legion
Sword egion
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It was okay. I mean, the thought is good, but I would really recommend following a better format if you could. You know, put space in between the lines and such, that would really boost your message, and that sort of thing, if I can offer such criticism.
It was okay. I mean, the thought is good, but I would really recommend following a better format if you could. You know, put space in between the lines and such, that would really boost your message, and that sort of thing, if I can offer such criticism.

--------------------
#Igor4Global2015
Trusted Member
Dark knight of the blackened sun. I am Sword Legion, one of many. My mask is thick, and my armor is strong. All the more necessary in a world such as this. . .


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

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Location: Faxanadu
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(edited by Sword legion on 12-07-15 07:39 PM)    

12-07-15 07:55 PM
Mangepic is Offline
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| ID: 1224346 | 35 Words

Mangepic
Level: 33


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Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Sword legion :
Thanks for the feedback! I probably should add stanzas but I write on a whim, and do it rushed XD
The separation of separate ideas really would add emphasis and style, thanks
Sword legion :
Thanks for the feedback! I probably should add stanzas but I write on a whim, and do it rushed XD
The separation of separate ideas really would add emphasis and style, thanks

Member
Don't be a salty bagel


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 07-25-13
Location: Washington
Last Post: 3571 days
Last Active: 33 days

12-08-15 08:56 AM
Boured is Offline
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| ID: 1224457 | 10 Words

Boured
18mlivingston
DanceDanceRevolution7
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Mangepic : Wow that was good, that was really good 0_0
Mangepic : Wow that was good, that was really good 0_0

--------------------
Vizzed Elite
Former Admin
The Guildmaster


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12-08-15 03:28 PM
Jordanv78 is Offline
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| ID: 1224544 | 22 Words

Jordanv78
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This is a good poem/writing. It's dark, but certainly good. I hope to see more of your creative writings in the future!
This is a good poem/writing. It's dark, but certainly good. I hope to see more of your creative writings in the future!

--------------------
Vizzed Elite
Former Admin
Special Assault Brigade for Real Emergencies


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 10-16-10
Location: Chicagoland
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12-11-15 11:04 PM
NovemberJoy is Offline
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| ID: 1225342 | 28 Words

NovemberJoy
Level: 83


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I actually kind of like it. It's definitely better than any poetry I could write, and it's an interesting concept. I hope you'll post more poetry like this.
I actually kind of like it. It's definitely better than any poetry I could write, and it's an interesting concept. I hope you'll post more poetry like this.

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