Here's a short two paragraph excerpt of a story idea I came up with:

   The man flicked on a switch, filling the small, dark and damp room with a weak flickering light. Small it may be, but with the darkness it stands out like a beacon calling to ships at sea. A small strand of light reflecting off a mirror glints of something. He walks, slowly and carefully, to the strange alien like cylinder. He skirts around  in circles, observing like a predator, before inching nearer. The thing speaks, a small voice coming from inside. He hears it. But he doesn't . He's mind must be playing tricks on him he thinks. He creeps even closer, straining to hear the voice in his head, my voice, the roar of crude vehicles from the fractured road outside driving by preventing his mind from focusing. He catches something. He tunes out the sounds, the flickering shadows, the moldy pungency of the room he is currently in. He ignores it all. He ignores the crash outside, the screams, the cries for help. For he heard something in my head stranger than anything he has ever heard before. He hears a story. A voice, talking about a man kneeling in a dark, damp, room. About a strange cylinder. That's him. He hears the word "adventure". He hears the word "love". He hears the word "money".
   But in this strange room, with the strange cylinder, he didn't hear the word "death".

Do you guys like it? Should I keep writing? (and what the heck is this point the heck is this point of view? 3rd? 1st? -2nd? Cause the narrator is telling the story, but is also part of the story as a character? But the narrator is still just like other narrators, intangible and omnipotent?)