This was an attempt of mine to explain human nature and sin nature- how people can be shown forgiveness and repent, but after a while, fall again. It made me think of a circle, and I put it in prose. Please note that this is not necessarily accurate according to my theological beliefs or my beliefs in the nature of salvation- it's a lyrical interpretation of the nature of sin. 

This one is about 910 words- one of the longest poems I have ever written, and it was by far one of the hardest.

Also, it has three titles because I could not decide! Sorry about that.



The Cycle- Forbidden Fruit- All It Takes is One Bite

Endless, on and on,
Continuing, circling,
Forever a cycle short and long.
Never can I fight this grim eternity,
Bound by a key to shackles heavy,
Doomed and caged by a hope to be free.

An apple out of reach,
A silver stream,
Wants and cravings to seek; I’m
Looking at Tantalus’s dream,
Forbidden fruit dangling right in front of me,
A hunger and a thirst from deep inside…
All it takes is one bite for pleasure to be mine.

Broken by a taste of fruit so sweet,
Indulging in the altar idol’s meat…
Descending down and down,
My heart falls asleep,
Beckoning forth vanity and pride
With the futility of this cheap thrill ride.
Welcome to this tragic comedy of mine.
All it takes is one bite- that’s your entrance fine.

Slinking in the dark,
Not to be seen,
Shamed of the black rags that cover me.
Running far and wide,
There’s nowhere left to hide,
Cloaked in transgressions, faults,
Denials of the call.

Fleeing from the light,
Too proud of my rusty chains,
Unable in my flight
To comprehend the binding pain. I
Mistakenly believe that I am finally free,
When with all these ropes I can never be.
All it takes is one bite to never see.

Pounding at my heart,
My conscience cries,
Vainly trying to open up my blinded eyes,
‘Till I cover them with my own pale white-red hands,
Desiring to live on a laughing memory.
A happiness absurd I want to keep,
Instead of truth so bland,
A lifeless fantasy, no matter how grand.

Why continue with these lies,
Tapestries of a starless, missing sky?
I know why I try to kill the truth, and
I understand the emptiness inside.
Is it wrong to feel so right?
Is it cold and sterile in the light,
As it’s hot and stifling in the night?

If I ever try to change,
Would I ever reach my goal?
I am a diseased soul;
I am sick of all the blame,
And I’m sick of all the shame.
May I finally look behind? May I finally turn around?
Is it possible to sound
Like music in a world of shouts
Instead of a drowned, bound, keening hound?
What is this delusion of mine?
All it took was one bite to lose all my hard-won ground.

But it’s such a comfort to pretend
As if my fleeting, insubstantial bliss will never end.
Change is so much fruitless work;
Will it ever be worth the exert I would exert?
Will someone please take my hand,
Lead me to the promised land,
Or am I cursed, forever and always alone,
Left behind and wallowing in the dirt?

Is it wrong to feel so right?
Why does this sin feel so bright,
When I know deep down it’s nothing but a blight?

Is it wrong to feel so right?
Is it freezing in the light,
When it’s an inferno in the night?

Is it wrong to feel so right?
It must be freezing in the light,
Because it’s all I’ve ever known.

Is it wrong to feel so right?
I wonder if it’s colder in the light
Than the icy flames waiting in the night.

I try to understand, to be the perfect
Little lamb,
Following the rules set,
Sobs welling in my chest.
But how it is I always fall short
Every time I beg for more?
What in me holds me back?
Whatever it is I lack
I want to grab ahold,
And use it to plug the hole in my soul.

There’s something twisted residing in my heart,
And what I’m not is ripping me apart.
I try to be redeemed,
But it’s not quite what it seemed.
I wish I could be content, satisfied,
With a fragmented life like mine,
Despite the fact my eyes are once again darkening.
All it takes is one bite to always want more, never stopping.

Surrender, wave the flag.
I cannot resist, my eyes sag.
I close them once again,
And what a pain all this has been
To try and rid all of my sins
When more keep coming- of them I cannot be rid.
I now realize, in this fight,
I cannot ever, by myself, reach the light.

Yet the light wants me too-
Why? Why? What am I to you?-
And as I reach for it, it reaches for me as well.
My broken heart with music swells,
As my fingers the pure white brush,
Driving away the red on my hands- healed in a rush.

The light is bright and cold,
As the night is dark and bold.
Stuck between the two, a choice to make,
Here in my starting place.

Redeemed, bought back,
And yet, there is still that righteousness I lack.

And then I see…

An apple of out of reach,
A silver stream,
Wants and craving, and I’m
Looking at Tantalus’s dream.
Forbidden fruit dangling just in front of me,
Teasing at a hunger and thirst
That the light- that I- say I must hide.
All it takes... is one bite… for pleasure to be mine.

Ever on and on, continuing, circling,
Never can I prevail against eternity.
Bound to a fallen body by shackles deep,
Feeling doomed and caged, changed, though the light set me free.
All it takes is one bite for pleasure to be mine, and
All it takes is one moment for the fallen to yet again breach my mind.