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03-28-24 08:52 PM

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Maria Rose Frostheart
( UPDATED ) It just popped out in my mind
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Juliet
09-25-09 05:10 AM
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Juliet
12-25-09 07:02 AM
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Maria Rose Frostheart

 

09-25-09 05:10 AM
Juliet is Offline
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( dont expect it to be great coz as i said... it just popped out in my mind, and I just wrote it for 10 mins.)

"Where am I?"

She looked around and noticed....

"It looks like, I'm in a hospital...

She wandered around the hospital for awhile, expecting to know the exact place where she was.

She saw a boy and called him, by shouting.

" mister!"

But he ignored her. She shouted once again, but the same thing happened.

" If you dont want to then dont..." She whispered.

She continued wandering... but every person she called just ignored her, same as what the boy did to her.

As time went by... little by little, she started to loose hope, until she cant handle her feelings anymore.

"Mum... dad..... I'm lost..... *sob

"Why...", A crying lady inside a room with an opened door said.

She got curious aftering hearing it, so she went there and looked. She watched the lady's face for a while, until she realized that the crying lady was her mum.
"mum!"

She ran towards her...

"Mary.... why did you leave us? " her mum said.

"I'm still here. Beside you. Mum, look here, mum."

Her mother looked at the person lying on the bed beside.

" Mary...."

"Mary?" she said, at the same time, she looked at the girl on the bed. Seeing that the girl's chest was not moving, it means that the girl... wasnt breathing anymore...

"Mary... you're still too young..."

" She looks like me.... or is it really me? ", she thought.

( dont expect it to be great coz as i said... it just popped out in my mind, and I just wrote it for 10 mins.)

"Where am I?"

She looked around and noticed....

"It looks like, I'm in a hospital...

She wandered around the hospital for awhile, expecting to know the exact place where she was.

She saw a boy and called him, by shouting.

" mister!"

But he ignored her. She shouted once again, but the same thing happened.

" If you dont want to then dont..." She whispered.

She continued wandering... but every person she called just ignored her, same as what the boy did to her.

As time went by... little by little, she started to loose hope, until she cant handle her feelings anymore.

"Mum... dad..... I'm lost..... *sob

"Why...", A crying lady inside a room with an opened door said.

She got curious aftering hearing it, so she went there and looked. She watched the lady's face for a while, until she realized that the crying lady was her mum.
"mum!"

She ran towards her...

"Mary.... why did you leave us? " her mum said.

"I'm still here. Beside you. Mum, look here, mum."

Her mother looked at the person lying on the bed beside.

" Mary...."

"Mary?" she said, at the same time, she looked at the girl on the bed. Seeing that the girl's chest was not moving, it means that the girl... wasnt breathing anymore...

"Mary... you're still too young..."

" She looks like me.... or is it really me? ", she thought.

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(edited by Juliet on 09-25-09 05:30 AM)    

10-07-09 04:04 PM
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Wow your good! will you continue the story is this just it? its very interesting so far.. keep it up
Wow your good! will you continue the story is this just it? its very interesting so far.. keep it up
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12-21-09 02:47 AM
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Hey that's pretty good for just poping up in your head like armydude said you should consider continuing the story.
Hey that's pretty good for just poping up in your head like armydude said you should consider continuing the story.
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12-21-09 04:32 AM
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I liked it a lot. I knew the ending once the mom ignored her. Good build up of wonder and such. Continue it, I wonder what your imagination would have in store.
I liked it a lot. I knew the ending once the mom ignored her. Good build up of wonder and such. Continue it, I wonder what your imagination would have in store.
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12-22-09 07:46 AM
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Thanks guys

continuation:

While Mary was looking at her dead body with confused eyes, a man with big black wings carrying a big scythe and a medium sized, bible-like book(with designs made of gold and silver) with him... wearing a black long sleeve and with silver hair, and eyes that look like a beautiful full moon, appeared in front of her.

"We have to go now Mary, I still have lots of jobs to do, and I have 3 more souls to collect after you, for this day."

"Who-"

"I'm Carson, a death god."

Carson looked at his wrist watch, with a design that looked like a skull, inside.

As he faced Mary again, he said " You see, you're consuming lots of my time. "

"death god?"

" Yeah, a god who takes souls and brings them back to heaven, or, if they're sinful, to hell. "

" No, I'm not coming with you, I- I'm not yet ready to leave them, I dont wanna die!"

" But you're already dead, and wether you like it or not, you have to come with me...Here. "

He showed the book to her and opened it...

" Here, you can see the names of the people that died and must be sent to hell or heaven, and this is the latest update"

He pointed a part of the list, but Mary's name was not there.

" So... where's my name?" She said, confused.

"I saw your name here a while ago... weird"

" Doctor! Doctor!" Her mum shouted. " She- she's- she's breathing!"

"What?!", Carson exclaimed.
Thanks guys

continuation:

While Mary was looking at her dead body with confused eyes, a man with big black wings carrying a big scythe and a medium sized, bible-like book(with designs made of gold and silver) with him... wearing a black long sleeve and with silver hair, and eyes that look like a beautiful full moon, appeared in front of her.

"We have to go now Mary, I still have lots of jobs to do, and I have 3 more souls to collect after you, for this day."

"Who-"

"I'm Carson, a death god."

Carson looked at his wrist watch, with a design that looked like a skull, inside.

As he faced Mary again, he said " You see, you're consuming lots of my time. "

"death god?"

" Yeah, a god who takes souls and brings them back to heaven, or, if they're sinful, to hell. "

" No, I'm not coming with you, I- I'm not yet ready to leave them, I dont wanna die!"

" But you're already dead, and wether you like it or not, you have to come with me...Here. "

He showed the book to her and opened it...

" Here, you can see the names of the people that died and must be sent to hell or heaven, and this is the latest update"

He pointed a part of the list, but Mary's name was not there.

" So... where's my name?" She said, confused.

"I saw your name here a while ago... weird"

" Doctor! Doctor!" Her mum shouted. " She- she's- she's breathing!"

"What?!", Carson exclaimed.
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(edited by Juliet on 12-22-09 07:52 AM)    

12-22-09 08:42 AM
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Nice Story !

I gonna use it in my flash series.

But there will be a few edits .
Nice Story !

I gonna use it in my flash series.

But there will be a few edits .
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12-22-09 09:23 AM
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uhm... how about you ask for permission from Juliet before you just take her story. That is the nice thing to do.
uhm... how about you ask for permission from Juliet before you just take her story. That is the nice thing to do.
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12-22-09 04:05 PM
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i like the continuation i kinda expected it to go that way but it was still vary good.

And Didowe really man you need to ask before you take things....Did your mum ever teach you any manners
i like the continuation i kinda expected it to go that way but it was still vary good.

And Didowe really man you need to ask before you take things....Did your mum ever teach you any manners
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12-23-09 03:05 AM
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"So you can still see me."

"Clearly" Mary said, as she continued walking towards the train station.

"This is weird. I asked Felix about this matter and it seems like its the first time something like this happened to a human being."

Mary stopped walking as she faced Carson and talked to him.

"Can you please stop following me even just for this day? It's been two months now since I saw you in the hospital and from that moment, there wasn't even a single day that I didnt see you."

"Say, why were you there at the first place?" Carson said.

"Car accident, that is."

"Or maybe it wasnt an accident but intentional." Carson replied as he grinned.

"What are you trying to say?"

"Nothing really."

Mary continued walking until she reached the train station. She sit for a while on a chair inside the train, looked at Carson and she saw that he was looking at her.

"Will you stop that?"

Then Carson looked away.

"Where are your wings anyway?"

"I wouldnt need them inside a train right? So I made them disappear for now."

"I bet you're not doing your job anymore."

"Thats so random."

"I know, just answer me."

"Well, I passed it to other shinigamis for awhile coz I have a new temporary job."

"And what is it?"

Carson sit beside her, pulled her chin softly near to him and said:

"To observe you day and night."

Mary moved away quickly and dodged Carson's eyes. They remained quiet until the train stopped and until Mary reached her destination: school.
"So you can still see me."

"Clearly" Mary said, as she continued walking towards the train station.

"This is weird. I asked Felix about this matter and it seems like its the first time something like this happened to a human being."

Mary stopped walking as she faced Carson and talked to him.

"Can you please stop following me even just for this day? It's been two months now since I saw you in the hospital and from that moment, there wasn't even a single day that I didnt see you."

"Say, why were you there at the first place?" Carson said.

"Car accident, that is."

"Or maybe it wasnt an accident but intentional." Carson replied as he grinned.

"What are you trying to say?"

"Nothing really."

Mary continued walking until she reached the train station. She sit for a while on a chair inside the train, looked at Carson and she saw that he was looking at her.

"Will you stop that?"

Then Carson looked away.

"Where are your wings anyway?"

"I wouldnt need them inside a train right? So I made them disappear for now."

"I bet you're not doing your job anymore."

"Thats so random."

"I know, just answer me."

"Well, I passed it to other shinigamis for awhile coz I have a new temporary job."

"And what is it?"

Carson sit beside her, pulled her chin softly near to him and said:

"To observe you day and night."

Mary moved away quickly and dodged Carson's eyes. They remained quiet until the train stopped and until Mary reached her destination: school.
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(edited by Juliet on 12-23-09 07:15 AM)    

12-25-09 12:13 AM
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Wow... VERY NICE! kinda speechless right now
Wow... VERY NICE! kinda speechless right now
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12-25-09 02:48 AM
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i hope your going to rite well type more of it when and if it comes to your head.
i hope your going to rite well type more of it when and if it comes to your head.
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12-25-09 06:48 AM
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Originally posted by rbaranishyn
i like the continuation i kinda expected it to go that way but it was still vary good.

And Didowe really man you need to ask before you take things....Did your mum ever teach you any manners


I am asking her *waits for a reply*, Just forgot to state *faceplams* I am such an idoit .
Originally posted by rbaranishyn
i like the continuation i kinda expected it to go that way but it was still vary good.

And Didowe really man you need to ask before you take things....Did your mum ever teach you any manners


I am asking her *waits for a reply*, Just forgot to state *faceplams* I am such an idoit .
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12-25-09 07:02 AM
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Uh-ummm.... I dont know yet. Let me enjoy the christmas first.
Uh-ummm.... I dont know yet. Let me enjoy the christmas first.
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