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01-01-14 09:25 PM
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The House
01-01-14 09:25 PM
thenoobtester is Offline
| ID: 949680 | 1189 Words
| ID: 949680 | 1189 Words
thenoobtester
Level: 48
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CP: 441.3
VIZ: 10977
POSTS: 536/544
POST EXP: 51702
LVL EXP: 812510
CP: 441.3
VIZ: 10977
Likes: 0 Dislikes: 0
He told me not to go there. I should've listened, I should've but I didn't. I went, and now, I can't leave my room. I know he is out there, I can hear his footstep's; well, I should say it, as it really isn't definable as any sort of human. I don't know how much time I have to write it, so I will try to make this quick.
It started 3 days ago. The house had always been surrounded in rumors, myths, and stories of a creature lurking in their, waiting for one fool to go in there, to attack it, or something. Every story was different, but it went along the lines of when you entered, it watched you. The longer you stayed, the more of a chance it would find you, and if you stayed the night, and somehow managed to escape it, you were screwed, it would find you outside of the home, and kill you. Like most of these stories, I thought it was completely fake. Another story made up by bored teenagers, to scare their friends to spend a night in an abandoned house. My friend fell for the bait, spent a night there. I live across the street from the house, and he went in with typical gear for the dare, a candle, a I was up late on my PC, browsing around, reading random crap when I looked out of the window. He was near the window, with a candle obviously in his hand. He was running. He ran across the room, and the candle light faded away as he ran. I was slightly worried, but I summed it up to his own and my own paranoia. He stayed there the entire night, and ran straight over to my house. I live in one of those houses that were separated halves, and have a neighbor living in the other half. He ran in to my house, spewing words about a figure. "A man, no, it," He told me. I started laughing, why should I believe him now. "Don't go there. I saw it man, I-it was in there, it was watching me, I should've left when I first saw him man, don't go," he told me. He warned me, and I ignored it. I told him the fateful words, the ones I shouldn't have said, the words that killed me. "I'll go in their tonight, just to prove nothing's in there," I told him. And I did. I went, and I screwed myself over. I went there, that night. I brought a candle, a flashlight, a bag of Doritos, and a bottle of water. I went in at dusk, and took a look around. The dining room was to the left of the entrance, and what was a completely empty room connected to it. To the right of the entrance, there was a couch, an old TV from the '70s, and a old fashioned carpet. At the end of the TV room was a stairway, so I decided to go up it. There was a room right across from the stairs, and a hallway going to the left. There were two more rooms, presumably bedrooms, and one more at the end of the hallway. There was also a hatch for the attic, which I was definitely avoiding. Even if at that point I didn't believe in it roaming around the house, I wasn't going in an attic or the basement, if I had found it during the night in an abandoned house. I set up camp in the bedroom right next to the stairs. The room was not very large, with an empty bed in the corner of the room. I put the I woke up to the front door opening. I shot up, and went to grab the candle. It was half melted already, and it was supposed to last for 12 hours. I assumed it was around 2:00 AM then, as I went in the house at around 8. My thoughts went to the thing that my friend was talking about, but I realized it was probably him trying to scare me. I brought my stuff out, and walked downstairs. "Dude, I know it's you, just jump out, scare me, haha very funny." I yelled. He didn't come out. I walked through the TV Room, into the dining room. That's when I saw it. The figure was somewhat human, but the head was too small, the body disfigured, like someone took this person, and smashed around their torso, like a clay figure. I ran up to the room, pushed the bed in front of the door. Even if it was my friend, he was convincing as hell, and I was tired. I tried to fall a I freaked. I started panicking, and he kept walking. Just walking. I was lying there, waiting for him to kill me. I was looking out the window, and waiting for the sun to rise. I saw rays, but before that, I heard a pounding on the door. It pounded for 5 minutes. Then it stopped. I heard the footsteps go downstairs, and the door open, and it left. I moved the bed, jumped down the stairs, and ran to the door. I sprinted to my friends house, I needed to be around him. I got to his house, and pounded on the door. "I SAW IT DUDE, IT WAS REAL, I SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE, LET ME IN MAN, JUST LET ME IN, PLEASE, GOD..." I pleaded. He wouldn't open. I broke the window, and climbed in. I saw his body, hanging there. He had killed himself. He was hanging in his living room. I gagged, but I had to run home. So I started running When I was running, I looked at the house. There was a door, to the basement, where it must have been. That's why it entered the house. I went back to my home, and locked myself in my room. Then it came. It opened the door, and it came in. The sounds started. Now I am here. In this room, waiting for it to break in. I locked the door, shoved my bed, all my stuff in front of it, but it's only a matter of time. I'd like to say goodbye, I just had to tell you my story. If you know of this house, stay away, no matter what anyone tries to tell you. It will find you. Don't go in The House. It started 3 days ago. The house had always been surrounded in rumors, myths, and stories of a creature lurking in their, waiting for one fool to go in there, to attack it, or something. Every story was different, but it went along the lines of when you entered, it watched you. The longer you stayed, the more of a chance it would find you, and if you stayed the night, and somehow managed to escape it, you were screwed, it would find you outside of the home, and kill you. Like most of these stories, I thought it was completely fake. Another story made up by bored teenagers, to scare their friends to spend a night in an abandoned house. My friend fell for the bait, spent a night there. I live across the street from the house, and he went in with typical gear for the dare, a candle, a I was up late on my PC, browsing around, reading random crap when I looked out of the window. He was near the window, with a candle obviously in his hand. He was running. He ran across the room, and the candle light faded away as he ran. I was slightly worried, but I summed it up to his own and my own paranoia. He stayed there the entire night, and ran straight over to my house. I live in one of those houses that were separated halves, and have a neighbor living in the other half. He ran in to my house, spewing words about a figure. "A man, no, it," He told me. I started laughing, why should I believe him now. "Don't go there. I saw it man, I-it was in there, it was watching me, I should've left when I first saw him man, don't go," he told me. He warned me, and I ignored it. I told him the fateful words, the ones I shouldn't have said, the words that killed me. "I'll go in their tonight, just to prove nothing's in there," I told him. And I did. I went, and I screwed myself over. I went there, that night. I brought a candle, a flashlight, a bag of Doritos, and a bottle of water. I went in at dusk, and took a look around. The dining room was to the left of the entrance, and what was a completely empty room connected to it. To the right of the entrance, there was a couch, an old TV from the '70s, and a old fashioned carpet. At the end of the TV room was a stairway, so I decided to go up it. There was a room right across from the stairs, and a hallway going to the left. There were two more rooms, presumably bedrooms, and one more at the end of the hallway. There was also a hatch for the attic, which I was definitely avoiding. Even if at that point I didn't believe in it roaming around the house, I wasn't going in an attic or the basement, if I had found it during the night in an abandoned house. I set up camp in the bedroom right next to the stairs. The room was not very large, with an empty bed in the corner of the room. I put the I woke up to the front door opening. I shot up, and went to grab the candle. It was half melted already, and it was supposed to last for 12 hours. I assumed it was around 2:00 AM then, as I went in the house at around 8. My thoughts went to the thing that my friend was talking about, but I realized it was probably him trying to scare me. I brought my stuff out, and walked downstairs. "Dude, I know it's you, just jump out, scare me, haha very funny." I yelled. He didn't come out. I walked through the TV Room, into the dining room. That's when I saw it. The figure was somewhat human, but the head was too small, the body disfigured, like someone took this person, and smashed around their torso, like a clay figure. I ran up to the room, pushed the bed in front of the door. Even if it was my friend, he was convincing as hell, and I was tired. I tried to fall a I freaked. I started panicking, and he kept walking. Just walking. I was lying there, waiting for him to kill me. I was looking out the window, and waiting for the sun to rise. I saw rays, but before that, I heard a pounding on the door. It pounded for 5 minutes. Then it stopped. I heard the footsteps go downstairs, and the door open, and it left. I moved the bed, jumped down the stairs, and ran to the door. I sprinted to my friends house, I needed to be around him. I got to his house, and pounded on the door. "I SAW IT DUDE, IT WAS REAL, I SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE, LET ME IN MAN, JUST LET ME IN, PLEASE, GOD..." I pleaded. He wouldn't open. I broke the window, and climbed in. I saw his body, hanging there. He had killed himself. He was hanging in his living room. I gagged, but I had to run home. So I started running When I was running, I looked at the house. There was a door, to the basement, where it must have been. That's why it entered the house. I went back to my home, and locked myself in my room. Then it came. It opened the door, and it came in. The sounds started. Now I am here. In this room, waiting for it to break in. I locked the door, shoved my bed, all my stuff in front of it, but it's only a matter of time. I'd like to say goodbye, I just had to tell you my story. If you know of this house, stay away, no matter what anyone tries to tell you. It will find you. Don't go in The House. |
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TheNoobTESTER, not ThenoobSTER. Gawd. |
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01-01-14 10:05 PM
EideticMemory is Offline
| ID: 949716 | 51 Words
| ID: 949716 | 51 Words
EideticMemory
Level: 137
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I really liked your short story, nice job writing it! Maybe he should have seen the dead body of his friend through the glass before breaking it, since right now it seems like he randomly breaks into his friend's house and stumbles upon the body. On the whole, it was excellent! On the whole, it was excellent! |
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01-02-14 06:24 AM
thenoobtester is Offline
| ID: 949903 | 62 Words
| ID: 949903 | 62 Words
thenoobtester
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EideticMemory : Thanks dude, I was kind of rushed at the end, as it was getting late, so I had to rush an ending, I wanted to expand on what happened after he found his friend, and I had a different idea for how he would find out about his friend, but I ran out of time. Thanks for the feedback though |
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TheNoobTESTER, not ThenoobSTER. Gawd. |
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01-11-14 03:01 PM
jrjj2u is Offline
| ID: 958977 | 46 Words
| ID: 958977 | 46 Words
jrjj2u
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I think this is a pretty good creepypasta, good job man. I'd like to read the expanded version you mentioned, I think it would be cool to read even more of the creepy, dark detail you could go into. Overall, like EideticMemory said, very good |
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