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matapult
12-28-13 03:22 PM
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juuldude
12-30-13 10:23 AM
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Rival's Revenge

 

12-28-13 03:22 PM
matapult is Offline
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| ID: 947287 | 189 Words

matapult
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As I defeat my rival for the last time I feel a sens of pride as I realize this will be the lastb time I will see this freak suddenly the power goes out and  turns back on my game shuts off however as I turn it back on there is no rival he is gone Its just a bug I say. Then I go to sleep however in the middle of the night I hear someone muttering I'll beat him now. just say its voices in my head however I am stunned when I see an onix chucked at me scared a move onto the floor and it misses leave me alone suddenly the onix lands on me and I go unconsents as I awaken I find I am strapped  to my bed surrounded by a blaziken a steelix and a tortarra suddenly I feel a fiery blow to my head a piece of metal in my chest and a razor leaf in my stomach. Then my body gives out from the pain. My last memory is of an evil snicker which I somehow remeber



R.I.P
dumb trainer
As I defeat my rival for the last time I feel a sens of pride as I realize this will be the lastb time I will see this freak suddenly the power goes out and  turns back on my game shuts off however as I turn it back on there is no rival he is gone Its just a bug I say. Then I go to sleep however in the middle of the night I hear someone muttering I'll beat him now. just say its voices in my head however I am stunned when I see an onix chucked at me scared a move onto the floor and it misses leave me alone suddenly the onix lands on me and I go unconsents as I awaken I find I am strapped  to my bed surrounded by a blaziken a steelix and a tortarra suddenly I feel a fiery blow to my head a piece of metal in my chest and a razor leaf in my stomach. Then my body gives out from the pain. My last memory is of an evil snicker which I somehow remeber



R.I.P
dumb trainer


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12-30-13 10:23 AM
juuldude is Offline
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| ID: 948174 | 43 Words

juuldude
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Now, every Pokémon fan is warned for not beating their rival! Excellent, muahaha, hahaha, muahahahaha!

Good story, but I think you should build up the mystery from the rival, like getting the feeling you're being followed or something, or seeing shadows from pokémon.
I'll show you how cold the freezing darkness can be.
Now, every Pokémon fan is warned for not beating their rival! Excellent, muahaha, hahaha, muahahahaha!

Good story, but I think you should build up the mystery from the rival, like getting the feeling you're being followed or something, or seeing shadows from pokémon.

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