Suicide. The act of killing your own self. Many people think this is the answer to all their problems. But, is it?
Beforehand, I would like you to know that I have been pretty depressed, and I used to cut myself, both of those things to keep in mind while reading.
I thought it was. In the last couple of weeks, I have thought about suicide. I look at myself as a piece of garbage that is worthless. If you ask me to name good qualities about myself, I can't tell you any, however if you ask me about my flaws, I could give you an entire 20 page essay on them. I don't have that many friends, and as such I thought if I did commit suicide, nobody would notice. They day before doing it, a kid in my class, whom I never talked to before, asked me if I was alright, as he saw me depressed. I kept telling him I was fine, but he kept asking me about it. Than, while we were walking from school, as we live pretty close. He asked me again, this time he lifted up the sleeves of my left arm, and he told me" If everything is fine, than why do you cut yourself?" When he said that, in a long time I felt as if somebody actually felt worried about me. I told him that I hated myself, and thought I was useless, worthless. In my house I have a lot of younger brothers and sisters, and I am usually neglected and left out for being the oldest. I also told him I had little friends, so nobody would really notice I was gone.
Him and I went to a diner that was near there, and we talked and ate. He told me that suicide is never the answer, and that there are people that cared about me, even if I didn't notice it. He told me that I had a lot of redeeming qualities, and that I wasn't worthless. I begin to cry. I didn't think anyone would ever tell me anything like that. We spend the rest of the day talking, mostly about the subject. I was crying the entire time, as it had been a very long time since anybody cared to talked to me, let alone about a subject such as this. He told me that he cared about me, and that he had lost a friend of his by suicide, and he didn't want any thing like that to happen to any one else.
This story is from a couple of days ago. Since that day, I stopped being sorry about my self, and started seeing life in a new, positive way. I stopped cutting my self, stopped having those stupid, stupid thoughts.
I haven't really told this to anyone, nobody knows. So, why am I telling everyone here?
Because I don't like this mindset.
If you are thinking about committing suicide, don't. There are people in this world that love you and care about you. It is very selfish doing this, since you are taking away somebody special from a lot of people. Times might seem though, but things will get better. A lot better. Don't harm yourself and the people that love you. Just get up, keep moving forwards, and things will get better, I promise. Suicide, it's never the answer, and never will be. Suicide. The act of killing your own self. Many people think this is the answer to all their problems. But, is it?
Beforehand, I would like you to know that I have been pretty depressed, and I used to cut myself, both of those things to keep in mind while reading.
I thought it was. In the last couple of weeks, I have thought about suicide. I look at myself as a piece of garbage that is worthless. If you ask me to name good qualities about myself, I can't tell you any, however if you ask me about my flaws, I could give you an entire 20 page essay on them. I don't have that many friends, and as such I thought if I did commit suicide, nobody would notice. They day before doing it, a kid in my class, whom I never talked to before, asked me if I was alright, as he saw me depressed. I kept telling him I was fine, but he kept asking me about it. Than, while we were walking from school, as we live pretty close. He asked me again, this time he lifted up the sleeves of my left arm, and he told me" If everything is fine, than why do you cut yourself?" When he said that, in a long time I felt as if somebody actually felt worried about me. I told him that I hated myself, and thought I was useless, worthless. In my house I have a lot of younger brothers and sisters, and I am usually neglected and left out for being the oldest. I also told him I had little friends, so nobody would really notice I was gone.
Him and I went to a diner that was near there, and we talked and ate. He told me that suicide is never the answer, and that there are people that cared about me, even if I didn't notice it. He told me that I had a lot of redeeming qualities, and that I wasn't worthless. I begin to cry. I didn't think anyone would ever tell me anything like that. We spend the rest of the day talking, mostly about the subject. I was crying the entire time, as it had been a very long time since anybody cared to talked to me, let alone about a subject such as this. He told me that he cared about me, and that he had lost a friend of his by suicide, and he didn't want any thing like that to happen to any one else.
This story is from a couple of days ago. Since that day, I stopped being sorry about my self, and started seeing life in a new, positive way. I stopped cutting my self, stopped having those stupid, stupid thoughts.
I haven't really told this to anyone, nobody knows. So, why am I telling everyone here?
Because I don't like this mindset.
If you are thinking about committing suicide, don't. There are people in this world that love you and care about you. It is very selfish doing this, since you are taking away somebody special from a lot of people. Times might seem though, but things will get better. A lot better. Don't harm yourself and the people that love you. Just get up, keep moving forwards, and things will get better, I promise. Suicide, it's never the answer, and never will be. |