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~Pikachi~
12-07-13 02:24 PM
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sonicbros
12-07-13 03:09 PM
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The Hallway

 

12-07-13 02:24 PM
~Pikachi~ is Offline
| ID: 938094 | 180 Words

~Pikachi~
Level: 52


POSTS: 384/634
POST EXP: 40342
LVL EXP: 1037380
CP: 2046.6
VIZ: 103298

Likes: 1  Dislikes: 0
I'm standing in a hallway, so very very long,
but I try to go forward, but every time it's wrong,
I need to find my way out, but every turn I take,
I always make another, another stupid mistake,
I don't understand where to go, I don't know why I'm here,
but there is a rumour, a rumour that I fear,
It's impossible, impossible to get out...

And even when I take a turn, different to the last one,
it seems to be, another hour gone.

I've spent this hour, planning in my mind,
looking for someone, that I have yet to find,
but the hallway will not end, it just goes, and goes.

But now I'm back at the entrance again, I'll take the last turn,
towards the dark hallway, but then my legs start to burn,
I've been walking for an hour, and getting... no... where.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, this was just one of my first attempts at a sort of poetry. I'm sorry for posting this, because I know it's terrible. I just wanted to try something new.
I'm standing in a hallway, so very very long,
but I try to go forward, but every time it's wrong,
I need to find my way out, but every turn I take,
I always make another, another stupid mistake,
I don't understand where to go, I don't know why I'm here,
but there is a rumour, a rumour that I fear,
It's impossible, impossible to get out...

And even when I take a turn, different to the last one,
it seems to be, another hour gone.

I've spent this hour, planning in my mind,
looking for someone, that I have yet to find,
but the hallway will not end, it just goes, and goes.

But now I'm back at the entrance again, I'll take the last turn,
towards the dark hallway, but then my legs start to burn,
I've been walking for an hour, and getting... no... where.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, this was just one of my first attempts at a sort of poetry. I'm sorry for posting this, because I know it's terrible. I just wanted to try something new.
Trusted Member


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 10-21-12
Last Post: 10 days
Last Active: 5 days

Post Rating: 1   Liked By: sonicbros,

12-07-13 03:09 PM
sonicbros is Offline
| ID: 938110 | 25 Words

sonicbros
Level: 64


POSTS: 166/1006
POST EXP: 39902
LVL EXP: 2161688
CP: 7789.2
VIZ: 137923

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Very good strong poem,I don't know if you were being sarcastic about my story but even so everyone needs a critic,this was a good poem
Very good strong poem,I don't know if you were being sarcastic about my story but even so everyone needs a critic,this was a good poem
Trusted Member

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 10-20-11
Location: Mercury
Last Post: 2460 days
Last Active: 2018 days

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