I saw this song on Facebook & it gave me the idea to make a thread where we post well-known songs with lyrics fit for us geezers.



This is to the tune of Let It Snow: 

Oh the weather outside is frightful,
And my joints are not delightful,
And since it got so darn cold,
I feel old! I feel old! I feel old!

You know, I like the direction you're going.  Despite being 32, and older than I ever have before, I still feel great.  I can't complain about getting older and I feel stronger, faster, and more in control now than ever before.  I like where I'm at and I'm enjoying the life that comes with not being 17 or even early 20s any more.

This is better.  Let's face it.

Ha! Me and my friend were just laughing today how we these days talk about old friends who are dead and how not to get fat, how our backs and joints ache and how we would have killed ourselves ten years ago if we would have been talking about this stuff. And we are only in our early thirties.

And sorry, this is the only song I could think thus far.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6UVoIT_0KI

I've got the Humpty Dance by Digital Underground stuck in my head all day?
Verse One: Humpty Hump (Shock G)
All right!
Stop whatcha doin'
'cause I'm about to ruin
the image and the style that ya used to.
I look funny
but yo I'm makin' money see
so yo world I hope you're ready for me.
Now gather round
I'm the new fool in town
and my sound's laid down by the Underground.
I drink up all the Hennessey ya got on ya shelf
so just let me introduce myself
My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty.
Yo ladies, oh how I like to hump thee.
And all the rappers in the top ten--please allow me to bump thee.
I'm steppin' tall, y'all,
and just like Humpty Dumpty
you're gonna fall when the stereos pump me.
I like to rhyme,
I like my beats funky,
I'm spunky. I like my oatmeal lumpy.
I'm sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack
but sometimes I get ridiculous
I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice
hey yo fat girl, c'mere--are ya ticklish?
Yeah, I called ya fat.
Look at me, I'm skinny
It never stopped me from gettin' busy
I'm a freak
I like the girls with the boom
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom
I'm crazy.
Allow me to amaze thee.
They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me.
I'm still gettin' in the girls' pants
and I even got my own dance
{Chorus:}
The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Verse Two:
People say "Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'"
that's all right 'cause I get things cookin'
Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me
but ya can't get near me
I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, B,
all the girls they adore me
Oh yes, ladies, I'm really bein' sincere
'cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear.
My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed
Big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid
I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge,
both how I'm livin' and my nose is large
I get stoopid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid,
I use a word that don't mean nothin', like looptid
I sang on Doowhutchalike, and if ya missed it,
I'm the one who said just grab 'em in the biscuits
Also told ya that I like to bite
Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to write.
All ya had to do was give Humpty a chance
and now I'm gonna do my dance.
{Chorus}
BreakDown :
Oh, yeah, that's the break, y'all
Let me hear a little bit of that bass groove right here
Oh, yeah!
Now that I told ya a little bit about myself
let me tell ya a little bit about this dance
It's real easy to do--check it out
Verse Three:
First I limp to the side like my leg was broken
Shakin' and twitchin' kinda like I was smokin'
Crazy wack funky
People say ya look like M.C. Hammer on crack, Humpty
That's all right 'cause my body's in motion
It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion
Anyone can play this game
This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name
No two people will do it the same
Ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain
Humpin', funkin', jumpin',
jig around, shakin' ya rump,
and when the dude a chump pump points a finger like a stump
tell him step off, I'm doin' the Hump.
{Chorus}
Black people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
White people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Puerto Ricans, do the Humpty Hump, just keep on doin' the hump
Samoans, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Let's get stoopid!
{Chorus}
Oh, yeah, come on and break it down
Outro:
Once again, the Underground is in the house
I'd like to send a shout out to the whole world,
keep on doin' the Humpty Dance,
and to the ladies,
peace and humptiness forever

I though of another one for ya Tracy Bonham – Mother Mother
Mother mother how's the family?
I'm just calling to say hello.
How's the weather? how's my father?
Am I lonely? heavens no.
Mother mother are ya listening? just a phone call to ease your mind.
Life is perfect, never better, distance making the heart grow fond.
When you sent me off to see the world,
Were you scared that I might get hurt?
Would I try a little tobacco,
Would I keep on hiking up my skirt?
I'm hungry,
I'm dirty,
I'm losing my mind...
Everything's fine!
I'm freezing,
I'm Starving,
I'm Bleeding death...
Everything's fine!
Yeah, I'm working, making money, I'm just starting to build a name.
I can feel it, around the corner, I could make it any day.
Mother mother can you hear me, sure I'm sober, sure I'm sane.
Life is perfect, never better, still your daughter, still the same.
If I tell you what you want to hear,
Will it help you to sleep well at night?
Are you sure that I'm your perfect dear,
Now just cuddle up and sleep tight.
I'm hungry,
I'm dirty,
I'm losing my mind...
Everything's fine!
I'm freezing,
I'm starving,
I'm bleeding to death...
Everything's fine!
I miss you,
I love you.