Just a quickie I wrote wondering what paradise-turned-sour would be like. Not exactly dystopia... more like Armageddon came and forgot to tell the main character.


Elysium (or, Elysian Fields)

In the darkness, far away,
Where exactly, I cannot say-
There lies the object of my desire ,
The place of my joy and my ire,

Elysium.

How long I’ve trudged through night eternal,
Putting up with plagues infernal!
Troubles, fatigue, pestilence, disheart-
The journey was so sweet, yet so tart.

Now, I stand in front of its gates,
With breath abate.
Now the minutes turn to years,
Happiness to tears.

Why had they never creaked open?
After all this hoping,
Left alone with no light but that which escaped,
Spilling over and under Elysium’s gates.

Years to centuries, time does not wait,
My heart its thirst unable to sate.
Young in body, old in mind,
Impressive doors, in which, behind

They promised pleasure, joy, and peace,
But they never mentioned needing a key.

In this darkness where I waited,
There was no rain,
Nor was there any pain.
No death, no ravages by time;
It should have been sublime.

And yet…

The light, the laughter, the mocking call
Made me want it all.
Forget immortality in the dark, without a day-
I’d rather have it where the light played.

One day the doors creaked forward,
Beckoning onward.
Stepping onto the golden-lit streets,
There was no one to see,
Empty as can be.

Then the fa?ade melted,
And at the door I met Elysium’s only guest:
Death.

In the darkness, far away,
Where exactly, I cannot say,
There lies the place of pity yet desire,
So violated that it draws all my ire-

Elysium.

It is there still, but I warn you,
Step inside and you’ll be killed.
What about me, you say.

Undying life or living death…
Which do you see?

Dragonlord Stephi : This one is a deep inner look into the meanings , gains and losses of life and death to me . Love the rhyming scheme ya used up there . And the words seem to flow in perfect coherency with one another .. like a creek of deep dark brightness of two of the most valuable or somewhat conflicting thins in life ... and death . Wandavar  

Best poem I've found here so far. This is very deep, and flows so perfectly. I'm beyond impressed. Keep on writing!

Mr. Zed :
Eirinn :

Thank you! It's comments like these that convince me to post more of my poems on Vizzed and not just store them randomly in my old notebook of forgotten writing.

Dragonlord Stephi : Just keep writin and I'll keep commenting Wo ! 

It would be a shame for writing of this quality to be stored away and forgotten. I'll be sure to keep checking out your work.