Now you're playing with power... I wish I had the power to vanquish this shi**y game!

I thought when I played Dark Castle for the sega genesis that that was the worst game I had ever played, it had horrible controls, bad music, bad animations bad everything. But compared to Escape from Atlantis that game was Super Metroid and Ocarina of Time combined. If I threw this game into A pit of lava the lava would dry up and spit the game back at my face, If I throw this into into a giant trash pile the flies would all drop dead because it's stench is even worse than the trash. I can only imagine this game is worse than waterboarding in fact this game should be used as an interrogating tactic for Guantanamo Bay and serial killers. They would surrender immediately it wouldn't even be a struggle. What I am dealing with here is a game that is so bad they didn't even release it, that's right from the infamous Color Dreams company they made a game so bad they didn't even wanna release it.

Where do I begin with this.... this thing. Well I guess I should start with the story, well actually it's too long and stupid for me to waste room on this review here so go to this link to read it for yourself http://www.gamefaqs.com/nes/915575-the-escape-from-atlantis/faqs/21230. Now you'll notice from the title screen that this game looks like it was drawn by a kindergardener who had 8 of its fingers cut off. I seriously don't know who the "artists" were for this game but there's no excuse not even the worst atari games could trump this and if I recall right this was a game made somewhere in the 90's so there really is no excuse. At the same time that your eyes are being blinded by this awful mess of a title screen your eyes are bleeding and your ear drums are wishing you were deaf forever just to mute this horrendous sound. The best way I could describe it is like a piano and a video sound board were both smashed into each other and the resulting effect leads to a piercing awful noise. And no that sound doesn't stop there if you dare pause the game that theme plays during the time the game is on pause. The sound and graphics retain there awfulness throughout the whole game with every step you make another awful sound comes out and the graphics confuse you and make you want to hurl.

Now for the actual gameplay and this is the most confusing of them all. You start out in this weird volcano in the background roman area and there's a bird carrying a key, so naturally you have to dodge the fireballs and get the key. How do you get the key? you chase the bird and press the B button to swipe it from him, but of course it isn't that simple. try going over and touching it the bird goes right through you so you have to keep chasing it around dodging fireballs until you finally grab it. then a lizard comes out and tries to attack you so you have to run away from it and put the key in the door with the same button you used to swipe it instead of just going in the door. But if you choose the wrong door the bird comes back and takes the key again and you have to do it all over and put in the other door.

Now after that it gets even more horrendous and cryptic because now you are in this weird lava pit area and you have to jump over the pits. It is very unclear where you can land as the graphics make it as difficult as possible to know where to land so naturally you keep dieing. When you die you go to this weird graveyard thing and death keeps chasing you, naturally you have to run away from him right? Wrong in this game with no rules you have to touch the grim reaper to warp back to the overworld. So when you get back to the pits and jump over you will notice a weird object somewhere in the area that looks like a paint can you can pick up. Pick it up and you have to throw it directly on the fire snakes that poke out when they feel like it. When you have done that long enough now you have to keep picking up watering pots to do the same t lots of little fire snakes that jump around and kill you. The madness only continues when right after that you have yo pick up this weird object with an arrow on it and running all the way to the right and dodge falling stones and place it on the weird statue thing to clear the area, my god.

I could keep continuing to tell you about this awful game and the other levels, but rather I would prefer you to find the address to the developers of this game and torch there headquarters for releasing this abomination. Clearly the creators thought it would be a fun idea to scar the person who dare lay hands on it but at least they had the common sense not to relase it. This game is horror personified I can only imagine freddy krueger and jason voorhees hiding under there sheets at the thought of this game. Bottom line don't play it, don't watch someone play it just take this as a huge warning and never speak of it again.

lol, awesome review. the game is so bad that you couldnt even
bother finishing it before typing your review.
what the hell were the game developers on while making the game, LSD?

although when you said people shouldn't bother watching someone playing
the game, I disagree. who ever reads this review should at least watch this youtube
video of it so they know how crappy this game is.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HweWeLjdWms

Oh my goodness.... after reading this review and then watching the link Flib provided... I have to say I'm in absolute horror.  LOL  I actually got through 4.5 minutes of it (and that was skipping half of that 'lava' level), and I have NO idea how I watched it that far.

Like.... who in their RIGHT mind decided this game was good enough to be published?!?!  Just... everything... from the graphics to the objectives to the music..... CAN YOU SAY EAR BLEED?!?!

I admire you for having the gall to try this game, UFC!

In the video, they actually touched the heart to warp back to the overworld, btw.  haha.  Just shows how badly this game was made.  I imagined as I watched the video that I would be so confused playing that game.  I wouldn't have even known what to do when it came to the buckets and lava snaked.


GEEZ.  Your review made me laugh, but the video of that game just made me cry...