My assignment was to write about what happened after the end of The Scarlet Ibis. What do you think? Is it good? Bad? Too gruesome? I did copy and paste it from Microsoft Word, so the spacing is going to be all messed up. Just a warning.


I wasn’t sure what to do. Should I tell Mama and Daddy the truth? Should I leave
and have them investigate when Doodle didn’t return? Should I make up a
lie? I knew I was no good at lying so I
decided to just tell them the truth. I carried Doodle’s body up to the front
door of the house. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

Mama
heard the door and came with a towel to dry us from the rain. When she saw
Doodle, she stopped dead.
“What
happened?” she asked, tears in her eyes. I hung my head in shame and explained
to her that it was all my fault.
“I’m
sorry Mama.” I said Just then, Daddy walked in.

??????????? “WHAT


DID YOU DO TO HIM?!!?” he shouted when he saw Doodle’s lifeless and


blood-stained body. I told him the story of the rain and the thunder, me


abandoning Doodle, and the blood seeping out of his mouth.

??????????? “YOU


ABBANDONED YOUR DISABLED BROTHER IN A THUNDERSTORM!?!!?” he roared. “GET OUT OF


THIS HOUSE! YOU DON’T DESERVE TO BE AN ARMSTRONG!”

??????????? So


I ran away.

?

??????????? I


sprinted through Old Woman Swamp, not bothering to look back even once. I


didn’t care about the rain or the thunder, I just wanted to get as far away


from that house as possible. Daddy was right. I didn’t deserve to be an


Armstrong.

??????????? So


I ran as far as my feet would take me. When I thought I was a decent distance


from the house, I sat down and cried. I don’ know how long I sat there, but


eventually I cried my self to sleep.

??????????? I


knew I couldn’t survive just by sitting, so I wandered off farther from the


house. Days went by. I survived by eating the succulent fruits growing on the tress


and the water from the river. Eventually I lost track of time. I wandered and wandered


until I eventually came across a small wooden house.

??????????? I


approached the house and knocked on the door. No answer. I decided to go in. There


was no one there. I looked around a bit. It seemed like it had been empty for a


while. There were mice on the floor, spider webs in the corners, and know food in


sight. I decided to make this small, abandoned shack my new home.

?

??????????? I


lived in the shack for a while, gathering fruit and berries from the swamp and


hunting the occasional animal that ran by. I did a decent job living here by


myself. I went to Old Woman Swamp to entertain myself. I thought I would be ok.

??????????? Then


I started to think. What are Mama and Daddy doing? Were they thinking about me?


Were they scared? And what about the people at school? What did my friends and


teachers think? So I decided to go back.

?

??????????? I


thought long and hard about what I was going to say. I was very nervous. Would


they be happy to see me? Would they be mad? Would they tell me that they hadn’t


wanted me to return? I pushed these thoughts away and knocked on the door.

??????????? No


one answered. I knocked again, but there was still no response. Finally I


decided to just go in. What I saw I will never be able to forget again. Mama


and Daddy were both laying, lifeless, with Doodle in their arms.

WHAT IS WITH THE QUESTION MARKS?

Not bad.

It's really good, and sort of thrilling. I was in the thought that Doodle was a dog. The fact that he was a brother made this all that much better.

It could have been lengthier and a bit more descriptive in some places, but other than that, nicely done!

Although, you did do something really cool. A cliffhanger! How did Mama and Daddy die? Leaving us with that question was awesome. Sign of a great writer.

goodboy : Thanks! It would have made more sense if you read the whole story. I know it could have been lengthier, but I am in a bit of a rush right now.

tgags123 : It was good, yet you could've informed me more about doodle, at first I thought doodle was a house pet...
Still this had lots of drama and the end was a shocker. You could've added a little more length  into your story as well.
Anyway you did perfect so I wouldn't change a thing.

B619ook : It is not the whole story. This is what I think happens at the end of a story called The Scarlet Ibis. If you read the original story, then it would make more sense.

tgags123 : Scarlet Ibis, I'm going to search that up, from what the ending seems like I guess it's a really great book than.