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04-23-26 02:45 AM

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Poetry
Place to post your poetry so i can read :)
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536
Replies
2
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0
Status
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Creator
clifton123
08-28-13 01:41 PM
Last
Post
clifton123
08-30-13 07:38 PM
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Poetry

 

08-28-13 01:41 PM
clifton123 is Offline
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| ID: 873183 | 131 Words

clifton123
Level: 22


POSTS: 8/84
POST EXP: 4555
LVL EXP: 52984
CP: 862.3
VIZ: 32507

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
So I write poems and wanted to know what y'all thought
The family is cursed
yeah, we'll how does that work
the marriage is twerked
the kids are dispersed
the hopes in reverse
their pride is rehearsed
The family gets worse
get knocked out of work
used to be a clerk
the kids such a jerk
their living like berk's,
The families a sin
they ask how you been
how to begin
I cant win
they crawl under my skin
now and then
I think of how close we were as kin
but now
I look at the house
burning
turning
spinning round about
how
I lose myself
when
will my life end
I'm trapped again
theres no way out
i lock the doors
and see that its quieter now.
So I write poems and wanted to know what y'all thought
The family is cursed
yeah, we'll how does that work
the marriage is twerked
the kids are dispersed
the hopes in reverse
their pride is rehearsed
The family gets worse
get knocked out of work
used to be a clerk
the kids such a jerk
their living like berk's,
The families a sin
they ask how you been
how to begin
I cant win
they crawl under my skin
now and then
I think of how close we were as kin
but now
I look at the house
burning
turning
spinning round about
how
I lose myself
when
will my life end
I'm trapped again
theres no way out
i lock the doors
and see that its quieter now.


--------------------
Member
Itachi's Crow


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 05-04-13
Last Post: 2818 days
Last Active: 2818 days

08-30-13 02:22 AM
Eirinn is Offline
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| ID: 873824 | 94 Words

Eirinn
Level: 158


POSTS: 2075/7900
POST EXP: 1300417
LVL EXP: 49781823
CP: 69431.8
VIZ: 1840496

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Not a bad piece of work here. It's straight forward and open, while remaining open to interpretation enough that it's relatable to the reader. I enjoyed it.

As for the thread discription, given the content of your post, I'm not sure I understand it. However, if you're wanting others to post their poems here, we need them to continue making seperate threads for their work, rather than using this thread for a compilation thread of sorts.

That aside, I hope we continue seeing you submit your writings. I'd definitely like to read them.
Not a bad piece of work here. It's straight forward and open, while remaining open to interpretation enough that it's relatable to the reader. I enjoyed it.

As for the thread discription, given the content of your post, I'm not sure I understand it. However, if you're wanting others to post their poems here, we need them to continue making seperate threads for their work, rather than using this thread for a compilation thread of sorts.

That aside, I hope we continue seeing you submit your writings. I'd definitely like to read them.

Vizzed Elite
Eirinn


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 07-18-12
Last Post: 2787 days
Last Active: 2787 days

08-30-13 07:38 PM
clifton123 is Offline
Link
| ID: 874091 | 19 Words

clifton123
Level: 22


POSTS: 9/84
POST EXP: 4555
LVL EXP: 52984
CP: 862.3
VIZ: 32507

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
thank you for the feedback im still new to the site so i still have to figure things out
thank you for the feedback im still new to the site so i still have to figure things out

--------------------
Member
Itachi's Crow


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 05-04-13
Last Post: 2818 days
Last Active: 2818 days

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