04-27-13 10:15 AM

thenoobtester is Offline

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thenoobtester

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This post is wrong. And I did need a buffer post

. I used the wrong layout, so it makes long posts hard to read

.

Here is the link to Chapter 2!

This post is wrong. And I did need a buffer post

. I used the wrong layout, so it makes long posts hard to read

.

Here is the link to Chapter 2!

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TheNoobTESTER, not ThenoobSTER. Gawd.

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 01-05-13
Location: Wisconsin
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04-27-13 10:18 AM

Singelli is Offline

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Singelli

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I'm guessing you will need a buffer post? Though I'm not really sure why you can't just edit your last post. Unless you wanted to change layouts or something? *scratches head* Anyways, giving you the benefit of the doubt and hoping a buffer post helps. I'll look forward to it if it does. ^.^

EDIT: ninja'd by an edit.
EDIT: ninja'd my edit by an edit of the edit.

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Singelli

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04-27-13 10:20 AM

thenoobtester is Offline

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thenoobtester

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Singelli : Yep! Here is the real one

This is a short story I have started to write called Beloh. I have been working on it for awhile now, and I have key plot points, a story arc, character arcs, and more all going, so I decided to finally write it

. Let's get right in to the story, and don't forget to leave feedback

. It takes place in the suburbs of Seattle, Washington, in 2004, and it is about 4 boys who find something, quite peculiar

. It is also the main character writing about it years later, so it is told in 1st person present, but flashes out in to real time occasionally

The rain shattered against the roof of my house like lightning. It pulled me out of the in-and-out haze of sleep and awareness. I looked at my alarm clock; it was 5:30 AM. I tried to will my body back to sleep, but I couldn't do it. I should be used to this, it rains a lot here near Seattle. I rolled out of bed and slapped on a few clothes, and head downstairs.

I grabbed some cereal, and poured it in to a bowl. My parents and my sister were still asleep. I turned on the TV and flipped through the channels. Nothing but early morning news and Paid Programming. I turned off the TV, and started to eat my cereal when my mom came downstairs. She looked very disgruntled, had dark bags under her eyes, and came right over to the couch. She laid her head down and was out like a light. I decided not to wake her; she had been up all night doing taxes, finding all the tax deductions we were available for. We aren't exactly poor, but when it comes to tax day, mom pinches every penny she can.

I should probably tell you a bit more about what I was like before we get in to my story. My name is Nathan (Nate for short), I was 13, I was barely 5 feet tall, and I was pretty skinny. I had 3 best friends, Gavin, Billy, and Greg. We hung out together, and had managed to get ourselves our own school lunch table. Probably because the school thought (and still thinks) we are all nerds (even though we aren't very smart, we just don't carry out with the latest fashion trends and whatnot), so they don't want to sit with us. We have been friends since 2nd grade, and social outcasts for much longer.

I went on to my PC and checked AOL. No one was on right now. Figures, it is 5:45 in the morning. I check my backpack to see if I have everything. I shuffle through the textbooks and folders I took home for the weekend. My science homework! I grabbed it out quickly and started jotting down answers on the sheet. Luckily for me, it only took like 10 minutes to finish. My teacher said it would take a half hour at best! Ha!

I lounged around the house, waiting for the time to pass. I still had to wait 45 minutes before I had to go to the bus stop. I decided to go in to the basement and see if anything was down there. I creeped down the stairs, looking around. My basement was more like a concrete box filled to the brim with spider webs, but occasionally I could find something interesting from before I moved here 7 years ago. I searched through the boxes for a while, but found nothing. I started to head back upstairs, when something shiny caught my eye. It was one of those lockets, shaped like a heart. I picked it up and opened it. There was a picture of mom and dad in it. I thought about it for awhile, and decided to give it to mom after school.

It was finally time for me to leave for school. For once, I was excited to leave for the bus stop. I had been sitting on the couch for ages, waiting for it. I put on my hoodie, zipped it up, grabbed my backpack, and head off to the bus stop. The rain hadn't let up. It was probably even stronger than it was earlier in the morning. I saw a flash of lightning off in the distance, and heard the thunder. It was quieter than the rain pounding down on to the street.

I got to the bus stop right as the bus pulled up. On time, as usual. I climbed on the bus and sat down right next to Greg. He looked excited, like he had a secret or something. The bus pulled away from my stop and he started whispering to me.

"You are never going to believe what I found,"

"What, another one of those poisonous spiders?" I asked. Greg was an avid insect collector, which probably didn't help him that much with his social status.

"I was looking through the woods to see if I could find some more spiders, but I found something way cooler. It was like a sinkhole, but I could see the bottom. It went around 50 feet down, was like 15 feet across, and there was a huge cave or something down there. You have to come and check it out with me after school." He replied hurriedly.

"Alright, I will. I'm going to have a lot of homework though, I didn't have enough time to finish my English essay, so I have to do it at home first," I replied.

"Forget about English, this is an amazing discovery. An underground system of caves riddled throughout Seattle; we'd be worldwide heroes," he exclaimed in a whisper.

"Alright, I'll go before I do my homework," I reluctantly replied.

The drive to school took longer than normal, since the rain had really gotten the roads worse than usual. The rush to get inside school was also quite insane, as all 700 students were trying to squeeze in to one set of double doors. There are doors situated all along the sidewalk at the front of the school, but apparently too many people tried to squeeze through, so it was a "safety hazard" and they didn't let kids through. That means we all have to squeeze through two doors at the front of the school. Sometimes I wonder why they hired that new principal...

School was a drag. I watched the clock anxiously. As the day went on, I became more and more interested in what Greg had said. A sinkhole, right outside of Seattle in the woods, that no one knows about. The clock seemed to drag on, seconds slowly melting in to minutes, finally turning in to hours.

It was lunch time. I sat down with Gavin, Greg, and Billy. Greg wouldn't stop going on about this thing, and how it was so amazing. He kept going on and on about how "It was so huge!" it got annoying, but I was still was interested.

Somehow I made it through the school day. We decided to just skip the bus and go straight to the sinkhole. I knew that my mom would be annoyed when I told her that I was staying at Greg's house for awhile, but it was a once in a life time opportunity.

The walk to Greg's house wasn't far, only around 15 minutes. He had a nice house, 3 stories tall, light tan color, and a expansive yard. His dad used to be a lawyer, and his mom is an anesthesiologist, so they get a lot of nice stuff. His yard was even better, with at least 12 or 14 acres of forest, along with a nice, flat area in the back where you could play football, or baseball, or anything really. His house had a bunch of stuff in there too, like an Xbox, he even had the new DS.

I called my parents and let them know I was going to be at Greg's house, and I would be having dinner there. They didn't really care, and were fine with it, surprising me. Everyone else called their parents, with mixed results, but we all were staying. We trekked through Greg's backyard and out in to the forest. The path to the sinkhole was surprisingly varied, crossing over at least 3 creeks, and a whole host of hills, ditches, trees, and brush.

It took awhile to get there, but we finally did. It was near the edge of Greg's property, and it was crazy. The thing had to be at least 15ft wide, went down more than Greg had said. The hole wasn't even the amazing part. At the bottom, there was a huge expanse, that looked as if it were a gold mine, filled with stalagmites and stalactites. The whole thing was screaming with incredibleness and eeriness. The whole room had many passages leading out in and out of it, but they all led deeper under the ground. All the rain water around it was being sucked, filling the cave with a low layer of water.

"No way. This is amazing. How has no one found this! It is... incredible," Gavin exclaimed in total awe. We all were starstruck in a way by this thing. It might as well be a million dollars, we still would've acted the same.

"Now what? Do we go in there," I asked cautiously.

"No, we just brought food, rope, water, and flashlights because it sounded like something fun to do," Greg replied sarcastically.

"OK, whatever. Who goes down there first though?" I replied.

"We all go down at the same time, together," Greg told me.

"Are we going to hold hands too? Or are we going to have to have buddies so no one is on their own?" Bill replied sarcastically.

"Whatever, you can go down first if you like," Greg told him

"OK, I-" Bill was cut off by a rumbling noise. The ground shook, almost like an earthquake, before it crumbled beneath our feet. We all fell down the hole, tumbling in to the darkness of the cave. We were all screaming like little girls, as we rolled down the now steeper decline in to the cavern. Finally, we rolled out on to the bottom, covered in mud.

"Great. I just had to be wearing my Khaki's today," Gavin said. Suddenly, there was another rumbling sound. I ducked and put my hands over my head, but nothing happened.

"That was close. We should probably get out of here," Greg said. We all agreed, and began to climb back up the slope. Suddenly, the ceiling above us crashed down. We all jumped out of the way just in time, as tons upon tons of dirt seemingly magically fell in to the tunnel area we had gotten in to the caves from. I pulled out a flashlight and looked at what happened. Tons of dirt filled the spot where we came in to the caves. We were trapped.

That is the end of Chapter 1, Chapter 2 will hopefully be out on the 30th

. I hope you have liked it so far, and trust me, it can only get better