Originally posted by gtwalq

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Some of these stereotypes are a little ridiculous and it's not like someone has officially gone out and measured all these dongers from all these different races so how would anyone know that for sure unless they're a meat packer who's packed a lot of meat.

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Professor JP Rushton did. lol
He literally went around the world measuring ... (cough)... "male extremities".

4 pages later and we are still talking about penis'

you know what will make you laugh? nothing, things people type on the internet have no humor, they are often flat and empty.
OF COARSE IF YOU TYPE LIKE THIS! you get some emotion, yelling emotion.

all i can do is tell you a story

one time in the newspaper ask abby section, people send questions for abby to answer. well one time there was a man who worked in the hospital morgue, and his wife sent in a question. she was wondering if it was normal that her husband told her if they want to make love he would only do it is she took a bath for an hour in ice water prior to sex.

now this is a strange question, abby was pretty disgusted by this question, now why would he ask her for a ice bath, he wants her body cold, what else is cold... perhaps in a morgue?

yep, you guessed it. he sleeps with corpses, whats worse is that that woman didn't break up with the man.

So did anyone actually make the person laugh or was the whole thread to talk about stereotypes and penis, cause if so, i'll recommend some of my friends who like to talk about penis.

Originally posted by calc_nerd

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So did anyone actually make the person laugh or was the whole thread to talk about stereotypes and penis, cause if so, i'll recommend some of my friends who like to talk about penis.

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Nobody here has made me laugh yet, so I figure they probably won't. But people can still try, or just make each other laugh. As for the penis thing, I won't take responsibility for it.
But in case anyone is still interested in trying for the 500, I still check up on this thread pretty often so have at it. I may even make the prize larger pretty soon!

heres 2 jokes

a man walks into a bar and says owch!

a duck walks into a bar and says 2 the bar tender have you got any bread ? bartender says no. duck says you got any bread ? bartender say no. duck says to the bar tender have you got any bread ? the bartender say NO! the duck says have you got any bread ? the bartender says if you ask me that one more time i'l nail your bill to the bar!!!
the duck says you got any nails ? the bartender says no.
the says you got any bread?

Originally posted by Morsalbus

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I've noticed recently that I don't laugh much when I am alone (particularly on the computer). Even when I type "lol", I'm not really laughing out loud, and I'm usually not even smiling! So here's your mission, should you choose to accept it: Post something that makes me laugh. If anyone manages to make me laugh out loud, I will award them 500 of my Viz. Even though it's first come first serve, if a second person does it I may waste another 300 on them!

I know one might wonder if I will tell the truth if I do laugh. I don't really have a use for viz, so you have my word. If that doesn't satisfy you and you think I'll still lie, then don't post.

So...yeah...have at it. Good luck.

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ai ai ai ai ai vampire are you afraid no vampire vampire are you afrais!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! vampire vampire !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!%$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$4444 penis

1. Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree?
-Because it was dead.

2. Why do ducks have flat feet?
-To stomp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
-to stomp out burning ducks.

Naughty jokes next:

1 A blond, brunette, and redhead are talking about the babies there gonna have. The redhead says that hers will be a boy cause the man was on top. The brunette says it will be a girl cause she will be on top. The blond then starts crying. She finally blurts out" Mine will be a puppy!"

2. A blond,redhead, and brunette are discussing there daughters. The redhead found cigarettes in her dughters car, and she couldn't believe her daughter smoked. The brunette found empty beer cans in her dughters draweers, and she couldn't believe her daughter drank. The blond then says " I found condoms in my daughters bed, and I can't believe my daughter has a penis.

No offense to blonds, nothing personnel, but most dirty jokes i hear surround them.

3. Wanna hear a clean joke?
-yes
-I bathed with bubbles.
Wann hear a dirty joke?
-yes
-Bubbles is my cousin.

hope it works.

EDITED BY ZIGGY: the post was complete spam and messed up the page format

Jesus Christ may be able to walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land.

um...no comment for the first page guys, dont you guys have shame?!?!?!

well you know Morsalbus, when a joke is written, it looses its originality. if a joke is good, its usually because the person who said the joke understood the meaning, what is supposed to be funny, and said it well to make the people in front of him laugh. i dont think anyone will make you laugh that hard. im saying this with experience:
"once, i found a joke(a pretty rotten one) on internet and didnt laugh(well maybe a little). then the other day, my firend came and told me the exact same joke but it was well interpreted, that's why i laughted that day"

(oups getting a bit off-topic)

well you see my point: jokes are better told live than on paper(or screen, etc.)

Here comes the best one :
A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position.


After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to two men and a woman, but only one position was available.


The day came for the final test to see which person would get the extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances," they explained. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her."


The man got a shocked look on his face and said, "You can't be serious! I could never shoot my own wife!" Well," said the CIA man, "you're definitely not the right man for this job then."


So they bring the second man to the same door and hand him a gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances," they explained to the second man. "Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her."


The second man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the room. All was quiet for about five minutes, then the door opened. The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes. "I tried to shoot her. I just couldn't pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I'm not the right man for the job."


"No," the CIA man replied. "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go the hell home."


Now they're down to the woman left to test. Again they lead her to the same door and hand her the same gun. "We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances. This is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him."


The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed all the way, the CIA heard the gun start firing, one shot after another, for 13 shots. Then they heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. This went on for several minutes, then all went quiet. The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman....... She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks! I had to beat the son of a b**** to death with the chair!"

Ok... true story... So there's this guy whose wife bought a really annoying little dog. The guy always teases the dog by putting something in front of its mouth to chew on then taking it away and making the dog chase after it. One day he's getting out of the shower and there's the dog. nothing else is around so he reaches between his legs and starts shaking his manhood. Long story short this was the time he lost keepaway and he needed stitches but refused to tell the nurse at the emergency room what was wrong and finally when she got him to tell she burst out laughing got him in to see a doctor and went around telling all the other nurses and later when his wife came to find our=t what happened he wouldn't tell her but a nurse whispered in her ear just what part of him had been hurt and the wife just slapped him and drove off.

ok so there are some philipinos that have a company called the packers but they have a funny acent so they say p like f. so one packer is telling people about the company. he says:"we are the fackers. there is me mother facker there is me father facker and there is me grandma facker, me i am just a facker. here at the fackers we fack all sorts of things, shoes, slipper, etc. we even fack animals. the hardest animal to fack is the hamster. the hamster has teeth like razors, but we have a special trick to get the hamster in the cage. first you put the hamster in front of you. then you put the carrot in front of the hamster and when the hamster is not looking you fack it, you fack it good.

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral.

A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?

Did you laugh? No? Alright...

Oh for the love of-
Go here.This has to make you laugh.


http://khroadtonightfall.smackjeeves.com/comics/438932/21-lost/

If this doesn't,go to the one below.



http://kirbysquest.smackjeeves.com/comics/608712/who-called-for-a-montage/

This should make you laugh. watch these in order:

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/297383

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/426712

any luck?

Heres my chance. (NOTE: IF YOU DO NOT KNOW ABOUT WINNIE THE POOH THEN YOU WILL NOT GET THIS JOKE!)

Why was tigger sticking his head in the toilet?
TO FIND POOH!
Gawsh thats such a classic...
wait..
You didn't like?
...
Oh..your hungry..

I wonder if my webcomic tries worked. o.o

The kingdom hearts one killed me cause I laughed to death. XD

Ok.
This guy is hard to laugh.

Somebody call...

The Laugh Busters!

*Radio plays*

DARNIT! EVERY TIME I TRY TO USE THIS STINKING RADIO, IT PLAYS "ELMO'S WORLD"!!! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH THIS THI-oh, it's on a radio station for three-year-olds...Whoops...

Five People get in a car. The one at the wheel drives to a night club and he gets out. Then they go to the market to get some food to their party 2 get out. Then, they go back home. 2 get out. Then they drive to the night club to pick up a person. They get in the back seat. Then they pick up the 2 at the market. They go into the back with the other. Then they go home to pick up the other 2. They get in the 2 front seats. During this time no one changed seats.

Who is driving if the driver gets out at the night club and no one switches seats!?!?!? How is that possible!?!?!?