Book Fight

JASMINE enters the library and heads

over to a table where SYLVIA is sitting

and reading. She takes a seat.

JASMINE

So this is where you went during lunch period!

SYLVIA

Yeah, I wasn’t feeling very hungry after Mr. Gordy’s frog dissection project. I totally think I’m going to fail… I let Simon do all the work!

JASMINE

Well good thing we weren’t partners for it… I did the same thing with Owen!

SYLVIA

Ha! Yeah, I just took the time to catch up on some reading!

JASMINE

Wait… is that the newest book from the Twilight series? Oh my gosh! I just finished the last book a week ago and have been dying to know what happens next! How the hell did you get your hands on the next book?! It isn’t supposed to be out for another three months!

SYLVIA

My brother found out his job got a few in early and snuck one out for me! I’ll be the first one to know what happens!

JASMINE

You lucky little - You have any idea how much trouble your brother could be in if anyone found out he did that? Remember what happened to the store that did an early release on Harry Potter? The managers were fired and thrown in jail for six months!

SYLVIA

Geez, chill out. It’s not like my brother didn’t know what he was doing! He didn’t mass release it or anything, just took one book and smuggled it in his shirt. And it’s not like I’m going to go to the press and say, “Hey, I got a copy and you don’t!” I’m going to read this book, finish, and give it back to my brother! He’ll put it back in time, and no one will be the wiser!

JASMINE

Except me.

SYLVIA

What are you getting at?

JASMINE

Suppose I decided to walk down to Barnes & Noble and tell a manager to check his backroom for a missing Twilight book.

SYLVIA

And why would you go do that?

JASMINE

Well now I didn’t say I would, just that I could. And I think I might, unless I’m convinced otherwise…

SYLVIA

You still didn’t answer me why you would?

She gets up from the table, looking down upon JASMINE.

                                                                                                            JASMINE

      Maybe I want to be the first to know what happens to Edward.

She gets up as well, glares into SYLVIA’s eyes.

By any means necessary.

SYLVIA

Maybe if you tried asking to read it after me, I’d have considered letting you borrow it!

JASMINE

But then I wouldn’t be the first! And I want to be Edward’s first, not second!

SYLVIA

He’s mine, you s**t!

JASMINE

He wouldn’t touch your fat butt if it was the last source of blood in existence!

SYLVIA

He wouldn’t because he loves me, and doesn’t suck the blood of humans even if it means his death! He would die for me!

JASMINE

You bimbo! He’s already dead! He’s a vampire! If you don’t know that, you obviously don’t deserve him!

SYLVIA

Oh shut up! If you had him, you would just use him till someone else looks better! You could never stay with a guy longer than a week!

JASMINE

Hey, they knew it wasn’t anything serious from the beginning. But Edward would be different, I’d keep him forever! You wouldn’t know how to keep a man! All your boyfriends have either dumped you or were cheating on you till you dumped them!

SYLVIA

Hey! Not Jake! He never cheated on me, and we mutually broke up!

JASMINE

B***h, I was sleeping with him the whole time, and still am! You were just too stupid to see it!

SYLVIA

What?!

She grabs JASMINE’s hair and pulls her head to the table.

You effin w***e! How dare you go after my boyfriends! Maybe if you weren’t such a w***e you could keep a man! But no, you have to sleep with every guy in the school!

JASMINE

Let me go you-

SYLVIA

No, you listen! Everyone knows you’re the school w***e! If Edward ever touched you, he’d do you and dump you like old news! Just like every guy you ever dated!

JASMINE screams and thrashes her hands about, scratching SYLVIA’s face. SYLVIA lets go of her hair and JASMINE charges into her. By now, the students and factulty in the library have surrounded them, some trying to call to them to stop fighting, others cheering it on. A librarian tries to break them up, but is knocked to the ground. All the while the fighting is going on, another girl notices the Twlight book, and snatches it for herself.

JASMINE

You’re nothing but a practice girl!

She struggles with SYLVIA.

SYLVIA

And you’re practicing to be a prostitute! Edward would never…

Her eyes go wide. She pushes JASMINE off her and looks around.

Where’s the book?!

JASMINE looks around as well.

                                                                  JASMINE

Oh god, where did it go?! Who took it?! Edward, where are you?

SYLVIA

One of these jerks must have took it! Hand it over!

The two girls go charging into the circle of observers around them. They all run different directions until a couple of faculty members come in and restrain the girls. They are taken outside of the library. Curtain is drawn.