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Am I missing something?
or Do you feel like your missing something?
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Totts
12-10-12 11:34 AM
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Singelli
12-11-12 03:47 PM
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Am I missing something?

 

12-10-12 11:34 AM
Totts is Offline
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Sometimes I don't get what is going on and I have to ask myself am I missing something?

It could be that all is going well and I am just being naive, but on the other hand I could be wrong.

Did old Totts make a mistake or is she doing fine?

I am a  lot busier now then I used to be in terms of work, I wish I could do more reviews and uphold my moderator post and retro games manager role.

Now the field is being over run and I don't know if I can keep up?

Are all the old faces here?

Who are the NKYTB?

Am I missing something?

Do you feel like your missing something as well?
Sometimes I don't get what is going on and I have to ask myself am I missing something?

It could be that all is going well and I am just being naive, but on the other hand I could be wrong.

Did old Totts make a mistake or is she doing fine?

I am a  lot busier now then I used to be in terms of work, I wish I could do more reviews and uphold my moderator post and retro games manager role.

Now the field is being over run and I don't know if I can keep up?

Are all the old faces here?

Who are the NKYTB?

Am I missing something?

Do you feel like your missing something as well?
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12-10-12 11:50 AM
udfett is Offline
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Well I was offline for about.... half year? But I am back now, most of the old faces are here, some "retired" from vizzed, alot of new people joined vizzed.
Well I was offline for about.... half year? But I am back now, most of the old faces are here, some "retired" from vizzed, alot of new people joined vizzed.
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12-10-12 12:08 PM
bvd1022 is Offline
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Totts : I can relate to feeling like something is missing. It has been difficult for me over the last couple of years trying to deal with several different situations at once it seems. The stress of it has been at times difficult to bare. It has also taken an effect on my writing and such and I do have times when I get into these say moods or as my family likes to call them “funks” where I just have low ambition and energy.

It’s difficult for me when going through stuff like that because when things are normal I work extremely hard and basically do everything I can to keep working. If nothing else it provides me a distraction from all the other things that I am dealing with. When for one reason or another I can’t throw myself into my work things seem to hit me all at once and it gets hard for me to deal with things.

You are definitely not alone. I wish I didn’t feel as defeated by the world as I do sometimes. It isn’t easy but I think of it as rolling with the punches or, at least that is what I try to do as best as I can. I don’t think you’re missing anything, you may need time to adjust to everything you have going on. I have been spending an awful lot of my time lately thinking about where I am in my life and contemplating what I want to do. It has been an adjustment for me because I haven’t written/worked nearly as much as would normally be the case this year and when you have time for yourself, even if you didn’t ask for it you end up doing a lot of thinking and second guessing.

It’s normal for people to go through that at one time or another I guess. I just hope that next year will be different and will be a better year for me. I hope all is well with you.

Totts : I can relate to feeling like something is missing. It has been difficult for me over the last couple of years trying to deal with several different situations at once it seems. The stress of it has been at times difficult to bare. It has also taken an effect on my writing and such and I do have times when I get into these say moods or as my family likes to call them “funks” where I just have low ambition and energy.

It’s difficult for me when going through stuff like that because when things are normal I work extremely hard and basically do everything I can to keep working. If nothing else it provides me a distraction from all the other things that I am dealing with. When for one reason or another I can’t throw myself into my work things seem to hit me all at once and it gets hard for me to deal with things.

You are definitely not alone. I wish I didn’t feel as defeated by the world as I do sometimes. It isn’t easy but I think of it as rolling with the punches or, at least that is what I try to do as best as I can. I don’t think you’re missing anything, you may need time to adjust to everything you have going on. I have been spending an awful lot of my time lately thinking about where I am in my life and contemplating what I want to do. It has been an adjustment for me because I haven’t written/worked nearly as much as would normally be the case this year and when you have time for yourself, even if you didn’t ask for it you end up doing a lot of thinking and second guessing.

It’s normal for people to go through that at one time or another I guess. I just hope that next year will be different and will be a better year for me. I hope all is well with you.

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12-10-12 12:15 PM
Singelli is Offline
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bvd1022 : I know the feeling of defeat.  I was sitting here this morning and thinking of that crushing emotion.  I've wanted to be a teacher ever since I was little bitty..... but I completely understand why 80% of teachers quit within 5 years.  I can't imagine staying in this career, and I was ranting and raving to my husband on what I could have possibly 'missed'.  Sure, it's been almost a decade since I was in high school, but my how quickly things go downhill!

I'm at a loss in my life right now.  I'm the breadwinner, so I must work.  I love teaching, but I hate my job.  HATE it.
I don't have many options, so I'm simply glancing about and wondering how I could have possibly misled myself to this extreme.  I had to have missed something somewhere.

I'm sorry you're feeling that way Totts.  But I also understand.  It kind of sucks that so many of us feel that way right now.


bvd1022 : I know the feeling of defeat.  I was sitting here this morning and thinking of that crushing emotion.  I've wanted to be a teacher ever since I was little bitty..... but I completely understand why 80% of teachers quit within 5 years.  I can't imagine staying in this career, and I was ranting and raving to my husband on what I could have possibly 'missed'.  Sure, it's been almost a decade since I was in high school, but my how quickly things go downhill!

I'm at a loss in my life right now.  I'm the breadwinner, so I must work.  I love teaching, but I hate my job.  HATE it.
I don't have many options, so I'm simply glancing about and wondering how I could have possibly misled myself to this extreme.  I had to have missed something somewhere.

I'm sorry you're feeling that way Totts.  But I also understand.  It kind of sucks that so many of us feel that way right now.

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12-10-12 12:58 PM
bvd1022 is Offline
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Singelli : Well in my case as I said when I don’t throw myself into my work for one reason or another things tend to hit me at once. In regard to my writing I love my writing and as you’ve seen me say before I credit my writing greatly for being part of what straightened me out from being the screwed up teenager that I was.

The problem in regard to my writing is it has at times been extremely stressful and I have been struggling for many years just to be paid for my work let alone make anything resembling a decent living and such. It has me wondering if it’s worth it.

I also admit that there are times when I do get depressed because I often feel that even though I have straightened my life out far more then it was when I was a teenager, I feel like I haven’t fully redeemed myself. I made a lot of mistakes back then and even though it’s been many years since that period of my life and even though I am in many ways a different, more mature person with his head on straight; I still deal with the guilt I have about how bad I allowed myself to screw up my life. The thought has also crossed my mind that someone or people from my past, who knew me when I wasn’t the best person will know I’m a writer now and will in some way try to make things difficult for me.

It has made me reluctant to reach out to people who I knew back then and suspicious of anyone who reaches out to me. I know it probably sounds like paranoia but it’s something that I do worry about. Often the first thing I do when I come across someone from that period is apologize for anything that I might have said or did.

I am grateful that I got the wake-up call I needed when I was in my early 20’s but it’s not fun when you’re pushing 30 and you still feel guilty about things that happened when you were a teenager. I can’t tell you how much I wish I could go back to my teen years but with the mind that I have now and completely redo everything. I hope that sooner than later I’ll be able to put it all behind me.

I can relate to loving the work but having a strong dislike for the stress that comes with it. I’ve never been a teacher and despite my stance on the school system in general I have always felt that teachers don’t nearly get the compensation or benefits that they deserve and that the only time you really hear about the hardships teachers go through is when a politician sees it as something that they can use as a means of political gain. It’s wrong, it’s sad, but it’s reality.

About a year ago an old teacher of mine who taught me OT from when I was little and was there when I was in high school reconnected with me. She had no idea about my writing and such and asked if she could see my work. I sent her a couple of pieces that were published and she came back and said you have a talent for writing, I’m proud of you and your accomplishments. After I read that I had to go into another room because I was in tears. This is someone who basically worked with me on my hand writing and such when I was young and she saw me when I was in high school when I wasn’t a good person, she would have been fully within her rights to judge me and get on my case about my various mistakes. She has no idea what it meant to me to see her say that. I wear my emotions on my sleeve but it isn’t easy for me to break down and cry. She had me in tears. It really did mean a lot to me.

When you’ve been told you won’t amount to anything, that you’re no good and such and you’re a bad person, and you ended up not thinking and making many mistakes you end up feeling like you’re a bad person and really start believing it. It really felt good when she said that. I still struggle with my regrets but for that one day I felt a little better about things.
Singelli : Well in my case as I said when I don’t throw myself into my work for one reason or another things tend to hit me at once. In regard to my writing I love my writing and as you’ve seen me say before I credit my writing greatly for being part of what straightened me out from being the screwed up teenager that I was.

The problem in regard to my writing is it has at times been extremely stressful and I have been struggling for many years just to be paid for my work let alone make anything resembling a decent living and such. It has me wondering if it’s worth it.

I also admit that there are times when I do get depressed because I often feel that even though I have straightened my life out far more then it was when I was a teenager, I feel like I haven’t fully redeemed myself. I made a lot of mistakes back then and even though it’s been many years since that period of my life and even though I am in many ways a different, more mature person with his head on straight; I still deal with the guilt I have about how bad I allowed myself to screw up my life. The thought has also crossed my mind that someone or people from my past, who knew me when I wasn’t the best person will know I’m a writer now and will in some way try to make things difficult for me.

It has made me reluctant to reach out to people who I knew back then and suspicious of anyone who reaches out to me. I know it probably sounds like paranoia but it’s something that I do worry about. Often the first thing I do when I come across someone from that period is apologize for anything that I might have said or did.

I am grateful that I got the wake-up call I needed when I was in my early 20’s but it’s not fun when you’re pushing 30 and you still feel guilty about things that happened when you were a teenager. I can’t tell you how much I wish I could go back to my teen years but with the mind that I have now and completely redo everything. I hope that sooner than later I’ll be able to put it all behind me.

I can relate to loving the work but having a strong dislike for the stress that comes with it. I’ve never been a teacher and despite my stance on the school system in general I have always felt that teachers don’t nearly get the compensation or benefits that they deserve and that the only time you really hear about the hardships teachers go through is when a politician sees it as something that they can use as a means of political gain. It’s wrong, it’s sad, but it’s reality.

About a year ago an old teacher of mine who taught me OT from when I was little and was there when I was in high school reconnected with me. She had no idea about my writing and such and asked if she could see my work. I sent her a couple of pieces that were published and she came back and said you have a talent for writing, I’m proud of you and your accomplishments. After I read that I had to go into another room because I was in tears. This is someone who basically worked with me on my hand writing and such when I was young and she saw me when I was in high school when I wasn’t a good person, she would have been fully within her rights to judge me and get on my case about my various mistakes. She has no idea what it meant to me to see her say that. I wear my emotions on my sleeve but it isn’t easy for me to break down and cry. She had me in tears. It really did mean a lot to me.

When you’ve been told you won’t amount to anything, that you’re no good and such and you’re a bad person, and you ended up not thinking and making many mistakes you end up feeling like you’re a bad person and really start believing it. It really felt good when she said that. I still struggle with my regrets but for that one day I felt a little better about things.
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12-11-12 03:39 PM
Totts is Offline
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Totts
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Singelli : I completely understand the teaching part. My sympathies on it. I know exactly what you are going through! Exactly!

Singelli : I completely understand the teaching part. My sympathies on it. I know exactly what you are going through! Exactly!
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12-11-12 03:47 PM
Singelli is Offline
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Totts : It's so hard.  I mean, yeah, everyone knows that most kids are spoiled, disrespectful, and lazy.  I knew that when I got into the career.  But it's one thing to know it, and it's something else entirely different when your job security is based on these facts.  I feel like I put out and put out and put out.  I stress, I work hard, and I do d###ed good job of it.  I know this beyond the shadow of the doubt.  God has blessed me in my ability.  But I feel so unappreciated, ran over, disrespected, insecure about my future....

And yes, at the end of the day I shouldn't let a bunch of smart mouths affect me so, but it's so..... impossibly overwhelming when 100 hormonal and self- entitled young adults look at you all day like you're the scum of the earth.

I feel like I'm drowning and I can't breathe...

Totts : It's so hard.  I mean, yeah, everyone knows that most kids are spoiled, disrespectful, and lazy.  I knew that when I got into the career.  But it's one thing to know it, and it's something else entirely different when your job security is based on these facts.  I feel like I put out and put out and put out.  I stress, I work hard, and I do d###ed good job of it.  I know this beyond the shadow of the doubt.  God has blessed me in my ability.  But I feel so unappreciated, ran over, disrespected, insecure about my future....

And yes, at the end of the day I shouldn't let a bunch of smart mouths affect me so, but it's so..... impossibly overwhelming when 100 hormonal and self- entitled young adults look at you all day like you're the scum of the earth.

I feel like I'm drowning and I can't breathe...
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Singelli


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 08-09-12
Location: Alabama
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