bt82660 : You are spamming. Most of that post had nothing to do with the topic of the thread. And what in the world does your score on the newbie quiz here have to do with his grade on a paper? My point = stop spamming long posts for Viz.

rcarter2 : Thank you for pointing that out, his post was very hard to understand. >.<

Well it's it a very choppy paper. The flow just does not make any sense at all, I do not understand the last paragraph at all. Singelli: is right the last paragraph is by far the worst. The detail is good, just work on smoothness.

BluemageKyle:

That seems like a sad question to ask, you seemed to put thought into the essay and while it's easy after the fact to nitpick, there is no way of knowing why your teacher did what they did without getting inside their head and figuring out what they value and do not value, grading is so subjective and most often bogus in some way.  

That having been said, if I had to nitpick your paper, I would take issue with the thesis statement.  Thesis statements are very important so it is a good idea to get outside of your head and read it and make sure that it is defensible.  In your case, I am guessing your main point was:

If the human brain is faced with a problem with both ups-and-downs the human brain will most likely have a mental breakdown which can cause mood swings, unstable thought process and depressing thoughts.

A huge problem with this main point is that it is untrue on its face.  It is also unclear, and it is no easy feat to construct a sentence that is both unclear but also demonstrably false.  When you say "most likely have a mental breakdown" when facing a problem with ups-and-downs... I imagine what you mean is that all courses of action in response to the problem have pros and cons, to say a problem has ups and downs is not the most clear way to say that.  But most importantly, all problems have ups and downs, whatever that means.  Depending on your point of view, you can always find good things and bad things about everything.  So to say, in a psychology class, that people will most likely have mental breakdowns when facing a problem with ups and downs is basically saying that everyone will most likely break down all the time.  Which is not true (or else everyone would break down all the time).  Also importantly, even if people did break down all the time, it is completely unlikely that the author of Night of the Twisters would agree with you, which is a pretty dubious position to begin an essay.  It would be like writing an essay about Star Trek where my main point is "Star Trek shows that all people are psychopaths."  Since Gene Rodenberry would disagree and since Star Trek never shows that, I am getting my essay off on the wrong foot, to say the least.  A good thesis statement should go out on a limb yes and make an arguable point, but it still must be defensible with logical support from the text.  

Off the top of my head, a defensible thesis statement might be something like, "Night of the Twisters, by showing characters pushed to their psychological and physical limits by terrifying, harrowing circumstances, illustrates psychological principles as the characters react in understandable, natural and predictable ways that are consistent with explanatory behavioral theories."  Or something.  

Anyways, that was just something that struck me about paragraph 1, it is also likely that your psyche teacher is just dumb.

Well it is not the best, but I would give you a c- if I were to grade you. I mean, it was not THAT bad. I have read some bad papers like this one that someone I know turned in: One day there was a person of awesomeness, me, and I was awesome. The End. The teacher said to re-do it.

bsnowotter : I think you should take a look at the date of the last post before yours... 4 months ago.

So, Closing this due to being Bumped.