I got this from somebody else. "You can tell a woman she's beautiful a million times and she'll never believe you, but I'd you call her ugly even once, she will always remember." Is this true, if so, then why?

It's because telling a woman that she's beautiful is such a hackneyed expression that sometimes holds no value. Or, she's probably fishing for more compliments

I think it's mainly because that word "hurts" them.

I mean... You know how horrible is for a woman hearing that?

About the another word, I bet they hear that often, so, they don't bother about that.

I know that, before I was engaged, if a guy told me I was beautiful I'd think "Well, what about me is beautiful?" Is it my looks, my personality, what? Then I met my current fiance, and he's told me what about me he thinks is beautiful. That is what gives a woman confidence: knowing her beautiful traits. Once you tell her that, she'll laugh at the people who call her ugly because she knows at least one person thinks she's beautiful.

It's different when your mom or dad tells you you're beautiful. If you have loving parents, them telling you you're beautiful doesn't mean much. Ever heard the phrase "You have to say that. You're my mother/father."? That's basically true in the mind of a woman.

Now, before I was engaged, if someone told me I was ugly it would crush me. Especially if it was someone I respected or someone I thought was a friend. I know everyone says, "It doesn't matter what others think. It matters what you think." Well...it's easy to say that, but even if a woman pretends like she doesn't care...she does.

If you walk up to a woman and say, "Are you pregnant?" and she's not, she's gonna hop on the treadmill and start dieting immediately. It's the same thing if you call a woman ugly. She'll start changing everything about herself to try to make herself "beautiful". She'll start wearing makeup, start buying prettier clothes, start talking differently, etc.

We're complicated creatures, no doubt. Even I don't know 'why' we do these things. It's kind of like asking (straight) guys why they love boobs. They just do.

It seems that most girls never want to compliment you, just get mad at you repeatedly to attempt to tame you and make you perfect.  Basically, it is a mind trick that men should try to avoid in a woman.

People in general - not just women concerning their appearance - have a tendency to focus on negative things. Couple that with the fact that women are objectified and constantly told that their appearance is equal to their worth as a human being... voila, you have an insecure person. This means they are self-critical to the point that they do not believe you when you compliment them, and also focus on any negative things that may have been said about them. All in all, it's just a negative and self-defeating mindset.

(That's just me guessing. All, part or none of that may be the reason for this happening, and on top of that it really depends on the person.)

Personally, I'm not worried if someone calls me unattractive or ugly. I have self-confidence and I know my good qualities/worth as a person, and my fiance thinks I'm beautiful. That's really all that matters to me. On the flip side, if they decide to compliment me, then I'll take the compliment and thank them.

I think that Annette has a pretty good theory on the reason behind it, but I agree it does depend on the person.

It's also the experiences of the person. If they have been called ugly their entire life by various people, then when you call them beautiful, they will think you are lying to them as part of a cruel joke. Happened to me when I was in middle school... and it was part of a joke, so that only reinforced it.

The word "Ugly" is hurtful to women mainly because they go through a lot. Trying to look pretty, peer pressure and what not. And when you tell her that her efforts are for not by calling her "Ugly" She'll often think that she's exactly that. And men well i'm nothing gorgeous but i try and look for my benefit and everyone around me lol.

septembern : That made me lol.

Honestly, I don't think that this applies just for women. I believe that anyone would remember the one negative comment over countless compliments because it's like a threat. It makes more sense for the brain to recall things that cause displeasure or harm as they can be useful layter on. Maybe you eat a big Thanksgiving feast and all of the food was delicious . . . except for the stuffing which makes you sick for the next three days. You probably will be more cautious next time around stuffing.

To bring it back to women, one criticism (whether constructive or callous) will serve as a reminder of her insecurities, even if they are unfounded or ridiculous. Plus, women tend to spend a lot of time looking their best so dropping an insult would be quite disheartening. It's like spending two years painting the same painting and someone just says something like "oh, it's nice, but maybe you should think about touching this over here up or maybe just starting over?" 

Compliments are like candy. I'm sure they are appreciated enough but what can anyone do with them (especially the less original ones)
after a few seconds? I know when I used to hear compliments, I'd have a lot of things on my mind. Are they just being nice because they care about me? How pro-NotJon are they? Should I just ask a stranger? After a while though, I realised that the best solution was just do everything that you do in a way that makes you happy. No one but you can make you happy.

I don't believe that there is a universal catch-all answer for anyone. This sort of thing depends on the person and their personality.

I'm not a girly girl and don't put much time or care into my looks. As a result, others' perception of my appearance isn't tied to my feelings of self-worth. I'm also a confident person. I don't feel that I need to do anything special to look good. I believe in natural beauty.

When people I don't know very well call me beautiful, I'll probably just tell them that I know.
When people closer say it, I might smile or giggle or something that shows I liked hearing that.

If someone calls me ugly, I write them off as stupid and ignore them. I'd never listen to that kind of ridiculous talk.

I honestly think it's because it's hard for anyone, not just women, to see the beauty within themselves. We can see beauty in everyone else and everything but it's hard for us to see it in ourselves. I know for me personally, I was told how fat and ugly I was by my Dad most of my life, so when someone gives me a compliment, it's hard for me to believe it's true. I guess it's like that for others too.

I think it's because most women like being praised for their looks on some level. If some girls constantly say they're not good-looking when they obviously are to the general public, it means she likes the attention. But there are some girls that really don't think of themselves as beautiful or pretty, & those are the girls that don't often get compliments. When it comes to insulting them, the girl who knows she's attractive passes it off because they just wave off 1 person who deems them ugly in exchange for 5-10 who always think they're gorgeous. When a girl doesn't always receive compliments & they get told they're ugly they believe it because of the lack of people saying how good they look.

But now that I think about it guys are subject to this as well, just not nearly as much.

I just asked my wife this. She gave me a really good analogy. Take a piece of paper and crumple it up. No matter how much you try, you can never make that paper look perfect again. Thing is, negative comments stick with us more than positive. I am sure that most can remember the meanest thing that someone has ever did or said to them, but it is more difficult to remember exactly when someone said something nice to you.