Since a few of you seemed to like my other thread with poetry, I decided to post one of my other poems. As soon as I finish reviewing and revising the others I'll put them up too, but for now here's this one:

He Called Me “It”
Seven years ago,
Mama moved to a
run down hotel owned
by her boss.
She took my sisters with her.
I recall their tears when
I told them I’d be staying with
Daddy.
My door stayed closed.
Heavy Metal and Punk Rock
music blasted from my
radio.
My clothes darkened.
Mama noticed my changes,
and her pride in me showed.
She introduced me to
her new boyfriend.
Gilmore was his name, but
he couldn’t seem to remember mine.
“What’s up, It?”
was his everyday greeting.
His eyes didn’t look right.
His calloused knuckles
and dark neck veins chilled me.
I made my distrust of
him known.
Bruises started appearing
on Mama’s skin and
justified my suspicions.
I imagined myself as the trees
from Lord of the Rings,
ripped out by my roots and thrown
into a fiery pit.
My imagination kept me sane as Gilmore
drove us from our home and forced
us to hide in the woods.
I can still hear him.
“What’s up, It?”

XxChaosxX :

The style of writing you're using here works well, that is to say- raw and upsetting.
Don't get me wrong- this is thought provoking in a way.

And you've got me a little worried here- is part your real life experience's?
If so then- I don't know... It's sound's like it was a hard time. I'm just glad it's over (is it?) for you and your family.

I also read your reply on the other one as well, you are very talented- that is quick work for some very diverse poem's.

So thank you very much for sharing this again. You got me by surprise... I'm a bit upset now... (nah I'm alright... kinda.)

jlh :

They are, aren't they? I would like to see some of your work's too. I hope you enjoy yourself with it.

On3On : Yeah this is a true story. Most of my poetry comes from my real life experiences or from me remembering my childhood. There are a few I think of off of the top of my head that don't involve my life, but for the most part, I use things from my own life in my poetry.

Don't worry, the situation discussed in this poem is long over. I just decided to use the situation to try to write an interesting poem. I have a few more over things about my life. I'll be putting them up as soon as I revise them. Thanks again for reading my work.

XxChaosxX : Thanks for your time, I am taken aback now reading through this again,
I've just realised how uncommon it is to see poetry of this caliber in this day and age.

I'm definitely looking forward to your next release.

My best wishes to you and your family.
I hope I'm not spamming you- or wasting your time. :s


[Edit: As soon as I hit submit what do I see? Another poem! Argh!. I can't post there now because it would spammy...]

On3On : You can reply to my new poem if you want. You're not being spammy or wasting my time. Don't worry so much.