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How to deal with a smart ass

 

04-20-12 06:29 AM
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Lord Treeko : Get the police involved? How bad is it exactly? Does he abuse or threaten to abuse her physically?

Lord Treeko : Get the police involved? How bad is it exactly? Does he abuse or threaten to abuse her physically?

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04-21-12 03:43 AM
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Light Knight: I have a few things to teach you that I learned in a group therapy class that I think are very important and will help. Correct me if I am wrong, but it sounds like you are experiencing anger toward your brother. It's perfectly okay to be angry, it's just important that you process the anger in a positive way. The best way to do this is rethinking the situation...

1) Activating Event: He is such a know-it-all
2) Belief: He is arrogant and full of himself
3) Emotional Reaction: You feel angry

The best way to get this to stop bothering you is taking the time to think before you respond. It all starts at the belief. Sure, he may be arrogant and full of himself, but maybe there is a deeper reason he acts this way. Maybe he has low self esteem? Maybe he feels he needs others approval? Maybe he wants you to be proud of him? Or perhaps there is another reason in there, I don't know the guy. But when you change your belief about his action, most likely your emotional reaction will change. If that didn't help you, I have a lot of other literature on anger and communication that I can share with you if you so please (just pm me)

Just a note- I hope I didn't sound like a know-it-all! Haha. I honestly am just speculating on what the issue could possibly be, so I hope you don't think I am presuming anything about you or your brother. Just sharing some information that has helped me in the past! And, to validate your feelings- I must say that I concur with your frustrations. I have an older Uncle who does the exact same thing. (We got into a heated debate about feminism) I try to ignore him, but luckily for me I don't see him often enough for it to bug me!
Light Knight: I have a few things to teach you that I learned in a group therapy class that I think are very important and will help. Correct me if I am wrong, but it sounds like you are experiencing anger toward your brother. It's perfectly okay to be angry, it's just important that you process the anger in a positive way. The best way to do this is rethinking the situation...

1) Activating Event: He is such a know-it-all
2) Belief: He is arrogant and full of himself
3) Emotional Reaction: You feel angry

The best way to get this to stop bothering you is taking the time to think before you respond. It all starts at the belief. Sure, he may be arrogant and full of himself, but maybe there is a deeper reason he acts this way. Maybe he has low self esteem? Maybe he feels he needs others approval? Maybe he wants you to be proud of him? Or perhaps there is another reason in there, I don't know the guy. But when you change your belief about his action, most likely your emotional reaction will change. If that didn't help you, I have a lot of other literature on anger and communication that I can share with you if you so please (just pm me)

Just a note- I hope I didn't sound like a know-it-all! Haha. I honestly am just speculating on what the issue could possibly be, so I hope you don't think I am presuming anything about you or your brother. Just sharing some information that has helped me in the past! And, to validate your feelings- I must say that I concur with your frustrations. I have an older Uncle who does the exact same thing. (We got into a heated debate about feminism) I try to ignore him, but luckily for me I don't see him often enough for it to bug me!

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04-21-12 09:22 PM
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xytha : Thank you for your post.

I think the underlying reason he acts the way he does is because he is the youngest of a family of 5 children. As a boy, people would call him my shadow, and he didn't have many friends his age, mostly only the people I hung out with.

Now that he is older and more intelligent, he is constantly trying to be the smartest most mature sounding person, and no one can tell him what to do anymore, because as the youngest he got a lot of that.

Even knowing the real cause, I still can't stand being around him, and every day for at least the past year I want less and less to do with him.

xytha : Thank you for your post.

I think the underlying reason he acts the way he does is because he is the youngest of a family of 5 children. As a boy, people would call him my shadow, and he didn't have many friends his age, mostly only the people I hung out with.

Now that he is older and more intelligent, he is constantly trying to be the smartest most mature sounding person, and no one can tell him what to do anymore, because as the youngest he got a lot of that.

Even knowing the real cause, I still can't stand being around him, and every day for at least the past year I want less and less to do with him.

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04-21-12 09:52 PM
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Light Knight : I'm sorry it is still troubling you. Perhaps he has some growing up to do. I'd say ignoring him is the best route, or just letting him be right. I've found with know-it-alls (like my uncle) they thrive on arguing and attention even if it is negative (hence troll bait). It might hurt to keep your mouth shut for a while, but it gets easier and when he notices he doesn't get any attention from you by acting that way maybe he will come to his senses. There is also the alternative of talking to him about how you feel. Best of luck to you!
Light Knight : I'm sorry it is still troubling you. Perhaps he has some growing up to do. I'd say ignoring him is the best route, or just letting him be right. I've found with know-it-alls (like my uncle) they thrive on arguing and attention even if it is negative (hence troll bait). It might hurt to keep your mouth shut for a while, but it gets easier and when he notices he doesn't get any attention from you by acting that way maybe he will come to his senses. There is also the alternative of talking to him about how you feel. Best of luck to you!

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04-22-12 05:21 PM
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My oldest brother used to be like this, and granted he is right a lot, there is enough times where he's wrong that I'll call him out on it. Usually it just goes to "prove it" and I'll just go google my evidence and he shuts up. My youngest brother though on the other hand is just getting into this faze. For example, he decided to buy a slingshot at walmart against my better judgement and brought it home and shot his plexiglass basketball hoop with it. Now whenever I play basketball he flips on me for shooting bank shots (which is all I've ever learned how to do because I'm too short to shoot at the rim), every time the ball hits the backboard another piece of plexiglass breaks off. So now I'm 1. and idiot for shooting bankshots because that's not how you shoot a basketball, 2. I keep breaking his backboard, 3. I have to pay for his new backboard because I keep "breaking it". He's still on this subject so I've found the only solution is to ignore it if you can. If not the number one solution is to take said smart-ass mouth, insert foot, and viola he can't talk anymore.
My oldest brother used to be like this, and granted he is right a lot, there is enough times where he's wrong that I'll call him out on it. Usually it just goes to "prove it" and I'll just go google my evidence and he shuts up. My youngest brother though on the other hand is just getting into this faze. For example, he decided to buy a slingshot at walmart against my better judgement and brought it home and shot his plexiglass basketball hoop with it. Now whenever I play basketball he flips on me for shooting bank shots (which is all I've ever learned how to do because I'm too short to shoot at the rim), every time the ball hits the backboard another piece of plexiglass breaks off. So now I'm 1. and idiot for shooting bankshots because that's not how you shoot a basketball, 2. I keep breaking his backboard, 3. I have to pay for his new backboard because I keep "breaking it". He's still on this subject so I've found the only solution is to ignore it if you can. If not the number one solution is to take said smart-ass mouth, insert foot, and viola he can't talk anymore.

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04-22-12 05:32 PM
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I agree with what Elara and xytha have said. If someone is doing this, they're looking for a reaction and a confrontation. Personally I would just ignore him. If he tries to start something with you, just tell him how he is coming across, "I'm done discussing this if you're just going to be an argumentative ass." Then walk away. XD
I agree with what Elara and xytha have said. If someone is doing this, they're looking for a reaction and a confrontation. Personally I would just ignore him. If he tries to start something with you, just tell him how he is coming across, "I'm done discussing this if you're just going to be an argumentative ass." Then walk away. XD

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04-22-12 07:57 PM
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Indeed. I'm not a very good speaker in these situations, and I'm very absent minded, so I have a hard time debating. I can't put my thoughts in a good format, so I find trying to shut him up by saying a smart reply hard. 
I've been ignoring him. One problem with him is he acts quite "nice" mostly, just very much a smart ass and if he knows a piece of trivia, he MUST share it right away with a proud tone to his voice. I can't say "no one cares" or the like, for then it looks like I'm just being jealous.
I think I'll focus on being cool about it, it's good practice. 

Indeed. I'm not a very good speaker in these situations, and I'm very absent minded, so I have a hard time debating. I can't put my thoughts in a good format, so I find trying to shut him up by saying a smart reply hard. 
I've been ignoring him. One problem with him is he acts quite "nice" mostly, just very much a smart ass and if he knows a piece of trivia, he MUST share it right away with a proud tone to his voice. I can't say "no one cares" or the like, for then it looks like I'm just being jealous.
I think I'll focus on being cool about it, it's good practice. 


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09-24-12 11:45 PM
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Old thread, but, I think a good slap to the face should shut 'em up.
Old thread, but, I think a good slap to the face should shut 'em up.

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09-25-12 02:40 PM
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This sounds extremely familiar. A trick that I use is to put in earphones (not headphones it don't work as well then) after the first twenty seconds and play some music fairly loud so that you can just hear him and when he asks if you are listening just say sorry I did not hear you but have you heard this new song it is great (or something along those lines) and place the earphone near them and turn the volume up  this will annoy them a lot obviously you can only do this once but try to do similar things


This sounds extremely familiar. A trick that I use is to put in earphones (not headphones it don't work as well then) after the first twenty seconds and play some music fairly loud so that you can just hear him and when he asks if you are listening just say sorry I did not hear you but have you heard this new song it is great (or something along those lines) and place the earphone near them and turn the volume up  this will annoy them a lot obviously you can only do this once but try to do similar things



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(edited by ant123ant on 09-25-12 02:40 PM)    

09-26-12 07:58 AM
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Oh, the amusement of this... my younger sister does it all the time. If you can get a couple of your buddies together with you, however that may be, you can just make a deliberate [obvious] effort of ignoring him when he does it.

'Tis what my mother does with my sister when she starts pulling these stunts. My mom will totally ignore her and encourage everybody around to ignore her with very little explanation any more. It works. She's doing it less & less. And still getting ignored every time she does.

But honestly, Knight? There's not much you can do in this situation without causing an outright obvious quarrel that will be taken as jealousy. You might just want to stop hanging out with your brother altogether for awhile. Eventually, he'll "miss" you and want your attention again. And just make it an ongoing thing - if he starts to do it, leave until he wants your attention again.
Oh, the amusement of this... my younger sister does it all the time. If you can get a couple of your buddies together with you, however that may be, you can just make a deliberate [obvious] effort of ignoring him when he does it.

'Tis what my mother does with my sister when she starts pulling these stunts. My mom will totally ignore her and encourage everybody around to ignore her with very little explanation any more. It works. She's doing it less & less. And still getting ignored every time she does.

But honestly, Knight? There's not much you can do in this situation without causing an outright obvious quarrel that will be taken as jealousy. You might just want to stop hanging out with your brother altogether for awhile. Eventually, he'll "miss" you and want your attention again. And just make it an ongoing thing - if he starts to do it, leave until he wants your attention again.

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10-01-12 11:13 PM
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I would ignored him if he being a know it all, or say that nobody care. I glad my siblings don't act like that, and all of them is older than me. So they know a lot.
I would ignored him if he being a know it all, or say that nobody care. I glad my siblings don't act like that, and all of them is older than me. So they know a lot.


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I don't try to get in to conflict with many people.  I personally stay away from trouble makers.  I ignore people who bother me.  I don't have time for their foolishness.
I don't try to get in to conflict with many people.  I personally stay away from trouble makers.  I ignore people who bother me.  I don't have time for their foolishness.


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10-02-12 01:09 PM
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Being somewhat of a smart ass (I'm going to be honest), just try to avoid getting into a "debate" or arguement with them. Now if it's like a younger sibling, then tell them that you'll pull on their hair really hard until they go bald. If it's an older sibling then just ignore them.
Being somewhat of a smart ass (I'm going to be honest), just try to avoid getting into a "debate" or arguement with them. Now if it's like a younger sibling, then tell them that you'll pull on their hair really hard until they go bald. If it's an older sibling then just ignore them.


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