Davideo7 : I know I summoned you to my 1 year anniversary thread, but I thought I’d summon you here are well so you could know more about the impact you had on me for simply creating this site. Vizzed really has become like a new home to me, and what I have to say to a few others should give you some insight into it.

Though it does not feel like I started coming to Vizzed just yesterday, I cannot believe an entire year has already passed. I specifically wanted to speak out in here a few important things I need to say, things that I would not have been comfortable with in the main forums. Before I do, though, I want to give out my personal thanks here to all of you. There are a few I personally think of most; just remember that I would never do this to put anyone else down.

YourMajestyKen : I remember that you were one of the three people who gave me enough trust points to become a Trusted Member. I understand that the system is easily abused, but at the time it was special to me. In addition to that, you were the one who suggested I join you and everyone here in Geeo’s Private Forum. Thank you so much.

geeogree : The past year has been amazing, in ways I do not think enough about, thanks to you. Beyond the time you’ve spent moderating the forums, and the money you’ve generously donated, your private forum here has meant so much to me. As I had said before, I’ve been feeling a little bit out of touch with my friends in real life --I plan to talk about that later in this message— and now more than ever I’ve needed some place to open up. Thanks for making Vizzed feel like an online home for me.

BNuge : I know I’ve brought this up at least one other time on the Vizzed Board, but it really is that significant to me. Remember when we first conversed? You had finally found the strength to open up to the Vizzed community to tell them that you are gay. I suppose I looked like some random user to you at the time, didn’t I? What made that first encounter so significant was that I had never really talked to anyone that… how do I find the words… has such different views than what I have. I remember how I nearly panicked after hitting the submit button. So unfounded my fears were. It was small step, but it was an important one that got me into sharing my views here without fear. Thank you for that, for giving me the first Trust Point I ever earned, and thanks for this awesome layout!

legacyme3 : I remember one day over the summer when we were in the chat rooms talking about something and I went and said that the chat room is “survival of the sanest.” You muted me “for being too sane.” That was definitely an indicator that I was becoming one of the regulars here. Also, I know I’ve said this before but it really meant a lot to me that you would ask me about a staff position when the opportunity arised.

Now onto what I need to get off my chest.

The problem that has been getting to me lately is that I’ve been holding secrets from my friends and family. What I really need is to talk to is a friend or family member, but I cannot bring myself to even try. Let me explain. The main one that I need to get off my chest is one that I have held longer than I’ve been with Vizzed. Despite the fact that I am a Christian, I’ve had a problem with pornography. And even though I’ve admitted this before to others, the person I want to talk to has never heard anything about this. I should know that he is a great friend to me, and he is Christian like me, but I still fear what could happen.

Now about my problem with pornography I’m not addicted to it, I just need other things to keep me busy. I have made multiple efforts to prevent myself from even getting tempted, with mixed results. With pornography and other things, I feel like I can’t do anything without worrying what others will think of me. I know it shouldn’t be this way because of my faith in God, but I just can’t shake any of this.

Vizzed has become one of the few websites I can go to without worrying about what I could get myself into –which is kind of in contrast to my attempts from earlier in the year to keep myself away from this place.

AuraBlaze :

You mean this?-

https://www.vizzed.com/boards/thread.php?id=22093&pl=322898

lol. I tracked it down.

You presented your views very well and I respected you for that. The way you handled it proved you were mature, so I decided you deserved a Trust Point. My uncle is a born again christian, but his attitude is a bit different from yours. He spent years telling his gay brother to convert or he would go to hell.

Because of how you explained your beliefs, it doesn't bother me that you disagree with it. Same goes for geeo and he knows it.


On to your issue.

If he truly is your friend, his top priority will be to help you in whatever way works for you. If you think you can trust him, you should feel safe telling him.

If you can't bring yourself to say it, write it down on a piece of paper. Take him aside and tell him you need to discuss something serious and personal. If you two are alone and you think he's taking you seriously, give the paper to him. If you text it, then it's permanent, but you can easily take the paper back and get rid of it however you choose.


"I’m not addicted to it, I just need other things to keep me busy"

Based just on what you said, I call BS on that (maybe there's more to it than what you said). You are addicted. When you want to resist the addiction, you find other ways to keep yourself busy. That's how people cope with addiction.

Again, I'll stress that if you think you can trust your friend, you should find a way to tell him. Writing it down is a good way to avoid talking about it. It tells them that you want them to know, but that it also bothers you so much that you don't want to say it or talk about it. Given the feelings you explained, that's probably the best message to send.

Also, after you do tell them, you will feel so much better. Just being able to share it with someone else takes a lot of the pressure off of you. It gives you someone you can go to with anything related to this subject. It's very nice having that comfort available to you.


I'm glad you can look at this site as a safe place. That's the way it should be.

I'm glad my creation has done so much for your life.

As for your porn addiction, I think the best way to overcome it would be to just keep yourself too busy to have time for looking at it. I'm not sure how long someone has to look at porn before they spring the hose but I'm assuming it's a bit of time which requires a bit of free time. So as I said, keep yourself busy, get some extra hobbies, if you don't have time for it than you're less likely to do it and with that, you can gradually overcome it and stop doing it.

All sins are forgiven if you truly mean it when you repent but if you continue to do it and repent with the intent of doing it again than I honestly don't think those sins will be forgiven until you've given it up completely.

It took me a while to read all that, but I'm glad I took the time out of my busy schedule to do so.

Thank you for the thank you so to speak, and you are welcome I suppose!

Chat definitely is a place you need to be somewhat reasonable, or you will go insane.

Glad to see I've had some sort of impact on you.

As for your addiction/not addiction/teddy bear?wtf

I don't see it as a problem personally, but that's because I'm a 19 year old male with a lack of friends

Hang out with people more or learn a new skill. Better yet, become a runner!

BNuge : Only my 26th post? No wonder I didn't bother to look for it.

"Based just on what you said, I call BS on that (maybe there's more to it than what you said). You are addicted. When you want to resist the addiction, you find other ways to keep yourself busy. That's how people cope with addiction."

I'm going to at least say you could be right, maybe I really am addicted. But I will also say that I have been lacking motivation and discipline. There are things I want to do on a regular basis like exercising and finding time to spend with friends. I even want to read the Bible cover to cover. I tried back in September, but I lost the motivation. I have no accountability.

Davideo7 : If the paragraph above is an indication of anything, there are activities I want to do but can't quite get the motivation and discipline to stick with them. I have gotten a browser add-on to directly block me from the sites I've had trouble with, but as my experience has shown me it's only as effective as reminder (of what to avoid) more than anything.

legacyme3 : The only thing I can think of would be parkour but that would, again, require help from a friend --who happens to be the same person I am hoping to talk to about this problem.

I apologize if anything I said above is rather incomplete. Thank you all for responding.

AuraBlaze : Dude I'm not going to lie and say I never had this problem, or even a slight problem with it now, it's just 'meh' though. You know, it actually took me 3 years to read the Bible cover to cover after I surrendered to Christ. It was just a hassle to read sometimes, but I stayed (and stay) in prayer about, what was normal before, but not normal now as newness in Christ.

We all fall short which is a headache, but the Bible does say "Those who persevere...", you know? I think what is a trip for me, is that God already knows every thought we have before we have it and every sin before we commit.

Just putting this out there... but the majority of people that are watching porn in the world are Christian, or identify as Christian. Priests watch porn... perhaps not enough since they still feel the need (edit- unnecessary comment)... but hopefully you get what I mean. I'm not really that into porn, but honestly I don't think watching it now and then is really that big of a deal.

Those comments aside, yay for you and being here a year and the super-awesomeness!

I sent my friend a message on Friday night and he responded back the next day. I was able to meet with him for lunch today and we had an engaging conversation. Everything he said to me was nothing short of what I needed to hear.

BNuge : What my friend told me actually builds upon what you said.

"When you want to resist the addiction, you find other ways to keep yourself busy."

Paraphrasing what my friend told me, finding something to avoid an addiction only puts me at risk of a new addiction.

legacyme3 :
Elara :
This is a big deal to me because it is about me staying in the promise God has for me.

And, yes, Elara, yay for being here and for super-awesomeness!

AuraBlaze :

Maybe it's not my place to be proud, but I still want to say I'm proud of you for being able to tell your friend. Having an ally in a situation like this is one of the best things that can happen.

You should be wary of developing new addictions, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try other things. Finding methods of distracting yourself really is the best solution for you right now. If you're comfortable with it, you could also try seeing a counselor at a free clinic or talk to a priest. They're both bound to confidentiality, so you can tell them anything.

BNuge : Sorry I haven't responded sooner. I do not see anything wrong with you being proud about this. You are right that an ally is the best thing to have at a time like this as well as the need to be aware of potentially getting a new addiction. I find myself to possibly be getting a new addiction; however, my friend and I have started something upon our first meeting. Yesterday we met up again for a weekly get together for a personal Bible study. Over the week we individually read the first 5 chapters of Genesis and shared at the meeting any questions we had. This week we are reading the account of Noah (chapters 6 through 11). So even though I may be at risk of a new addiction, I have something very meaningful that can put a cap on it --just typing all this is getting me pumped up.

There is actually a personal discovery I made last week separate to any of the above. I think my username may have more meaning to it than I first thought. (I would post a link but I am afraid this one could think it is directly on Vizzed.com.) Go to the Thesaurus at Dictionary.com and look up "aura." In the block where aura is the main entry, a synonym for it is appearance. Directly below that the main entry is appearance but it's synonyms include aura, facade, illusion, guise and others. I think God had all this planned out.