edited so it is easier to read

The story starts here, and I believe it to be appropriate, just let me know if you find anything too inappropriate :



You: i came home from work, feeling like s***, how could I let this happen again... fired, again.



Stranger: I went to the liquor cabinet, but it was empty. I forgot I had already drunk all the bourbon and only coffee liquor was left. And I hate coffee



You: So instead of getting drunk to ease my pains, I sat down on the couch to take a nap .... but when I awoke I had a terrible headache



Stranger: it was all their fault. With their riddles and their secret codes… when I answered that "iPhone programmer" ad I thought I only had to know MS Office! Then they started asking me to do weird things



You: I didn't have a clue what the word c++ even meant, I had never heard of it... but they told me I must know it, so I tried my best to learn it



Stranger: at least somehow I stayed there for 2 months, and they payed me more than all the previous jobs together in a year. So not everything was bad



You: But when they learn of my low progressing level, they though that i wasn't right for the job...



Stranger: people kept yelling at me about "compiling" something, and that I have deleted the "source". Whatever that meant. Gosh, so rude



You: I told that them that I had never done anything like this before... but they just laughed at me, and called me a fool for taking up this job



Stranger: oh well. Concentrate on the positive. That's what my counselor always says. Concentrate on the positive… If only I didn't have this damn headache!



You: I started to stand up slowly so that I could take some Tylenol for this throbbing head ache... great only 30 more minutes until it kicks in...



Stranger: I better check my email. Oh, 213 unread. Oh no, those are the funny videos I saved. Wait… I have not seen this one for a while



You: I clicked on the video, it was my favorite video a year ago, It never got old. The video cheered me up for a few moments, afterward i set off to the Internet to try and find a new job.



Stranger: I applied for the apple genius one (something farm related) and for another one for NSA. I wrote in the form how I was the person for the job, since I like to spy on my Arab neighbor. I told them he was probably a terrorist



You: They sent me a email back about the job offer and something government related. They said that Apple and the Government would like to chat with me...



Stranger: so I head out to the Apple Store. There was one near by



You: When I arrived there was a man in a black suit standing by the door, as well as a few Apple geniuses.



Stranger: the Apple store was less impressive that what I though it would be. More like a warehouse, full of boxes with apples. Redburn, Golden Delicious… the "geniuses" didn't look like much with their straw hats and wheelbarrows



You: I walked around for a few minutes, pondering.... I asked a guy about where I was at. He said "Why sir, you're at the Apple store, care to buy a delicious apple? They are only $99 if you sign this contract, we carry the granny apple and the granny Smith apple."



Stranger: I showed the man my email. I had printed it. I was prepared. I told him to walk me to his superiors



You: After reading my email, the man looked at me with a puzzled look on his face. He turned to one of the men in suits and gestured him to come over.



Stranger: the suit gave me an appreciative look after reading the email. Twice. Then he pushed me out of the door! I was yelling him to stop! But they just kicked me out! So rude! As rude as the office people!



You: Why does ever one in this world hate me? I know a one where everybody loves me! I go to the closest bar.



Stranger: as I walk by my place in my way to the bar I see a car with tinted windows parked by the neighbors. People with raybans and suits are pushing my arab neighbor into the car, while he goes on yelling with his thick Arab accent. I knew he was a Taliban



You: I wanted to go over there and find out what was going on, but I didn't want to accidentally get too involved in something I'm not supposed to get involved in... I walk up to my house to go in and get some extra money for the bar, when one of the black suited men walks up to me.



Stranger: he shows me a piece of paper. With my email printed on it. "Is this you?" he asks. I hide my own piece of paper with the same email printed behind my back



You: "uhmm" I skim the email, already know it was mine. I remain silent in fear



Stranger: "nah, nah. This sounds like a demented person, doesn't it? It must be Abraham, in #201. He is jew, you know… the kind of crazy type



You: The man looks at me like I'm crazy, mostly because I am. As he starts to back away he gives me the "I'm watching you" gesture with his two fingers. The paper behind my black squishes into a little ball as my fingers tighten up.



Stranger: Old Abraham is coming up the street with bags of groceries. I point at him, while I back up into the apartment building. The suit looks at him, sighs, and goes in his direction. I run upstairs



You: I figured going out tonight would be out of the question, since I believe that the government is after me... So all I do is sit at my laptop screen and look at conspiracy websites for Apple and the US govt, deleting my history after ever website I visit.



Stranger: but the headache is coming back. All that yelling on the street has been going on for an hour! I cannot even understand what they are saying, with their secretive foreign languages. I take a couple Valium and go back to sleep thinking tomorrow… tomorrow… will be a better day.



>>The other guy quit before we really finished :/