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Silence
12-18-04 12:26 PM
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Mistermog
12-22-04 03:59 AM
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Dear Santa

 

12-18-04 12:26 PM
Silence is Offline
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Silence
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Dear Santa

I thought these were pretty funny.

Enjoy, if you haven't read these already.
------------------------------------------------

deer santa:

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Frend,
BiLLy
--Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa
--------------------------------------------
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace
and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah
--Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa
--------------------------------------------
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love,
Teddy
--Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with those?
Santa
--------------------------------------------

Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum
kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love,
Francis
--Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.
Santa

--------------------------------------------

Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan
--Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the s***s and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam.
Santa

--------------------------------------------
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend,
Thomas
--Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made by little kids like you in China. Every year I give them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table.
Santa

P.S.

Tell your mom she got the part.

"Long Dong" Claus
--------------------------------------------
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're
awake, like in the song?
Love,
Jessica
--Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa
--------------------------------------------
Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE
could I have one?
Timmy
--Timmy,
That whiney begging s*** may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again.
Santa
--------------------------------------------
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love,
Marky
--Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa
Dear Santa

I thought these were pretty funny.

Enjoy, if you haven't read these already.
------------------------------------------------

deer santa:

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Frend,
BiLLy
--Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa
--------------------------------------------
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace
and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah
--Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa
--------------------------------------------
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love,
Teddy
--Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with those?
Santa
--------------------------------------------

Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum
kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love,
Francis
--Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.
Santa

--------------------------------------------

Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan
--Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the s***s and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam.
Santa

--------------------------------------------
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend,
Thomas
--Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made by little kids like you in China. Every year I give them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table.
Santa

P.S.

Tell your mom she got the part.

"Long Dong" Claus
--------------------------------------------
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're
awake, like in the song?
Love,
Jessica
--Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa
--------------------------------------------
Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE
could I have one?
Timmy
--Timmy,
That whiney begging s*** may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again.
Santa
--------------------------------------------
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love,
Marky
--Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa
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12-18-04 01:06 PM
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Where did you get these?
Where did you get these?
Member

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 12-10-04
Location: Amerika, Ist wunderbar.
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12-18-04 01:31 PM
Silence is Offline
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Silence
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They were on my car clubs forums, I found them funny as hell and wanted to share..
They were on my car clubs forums, I found them funny as hell and wanted to share..
Member
Team Celica


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 12-09-04
Location: Madison WI(where I live) > Prescott WI :P
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12-18-04 01:31 PM
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HooHa! There pretty good I didn't laugh at all but they are pretty good regardless.
HooHa! There pretty good I didn't laugh at all but they are pretty good regardless.
Vizzed Elite

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 12-06-04
Location: Rocket Town
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12-18-04 01:36 PM
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You've ruined cristmas for me now
*begins to cry*
You've ruined cristmas for me now
*begins to cry*
Vizzed Elite
Insert Custom Title Here


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Registered: 12-07-04
Location: Wisconsin
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(edited by John on 12-19-04 10:00 PM)    

12-19-04 03:53 PM
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I liked all of them other than the last one, since i live in a slummy aparment...you just killed my self esteem..bastard!
I liked all of them other than the last one, since i live in a slummy aparment...you just killed my self esteem..bastard!
Vizzed Elite
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Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

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12-19-04 03:58 PM
Silence is Offline
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Silence
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Keep in mind I didnt write these
Keep in mind I didnt write these
Member
Team Celica


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 12-09-04
Location: Madison WI(where I live) > Prescott WI :P
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12-19-04 03:59 PM
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Yea well it still hurt me, in a homosexual way
Yea well it still hurt me, in a homosexual way
Vizzed Elite
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Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

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12-19-04 07:30 PM
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Originally posted by Mike
Yea well it still hurt me, in a homosexual way


??!?!?!?
Originally posted by Mike
Yea well it still hurt me, in a homosexual way


??!?!?!?
Vizzed Elite
Insert Custom Title Here


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

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12-20-04 02:41 PM
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I'm just not getting the point of this, but im stupid so excuse me, I found one funny, if thats the point...lol
I'm just not getting the point of this, but im stupid so excuse me, I found one funny, if thats the point...lol
Member

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12-20-04 04:55 PM
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Yea i think this was ment to be a joke... but he pretty much dissed santa
Yea i think this was ment to be a joke... but he pretty much dissed santa
Vizzed Elite
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12-20-04 06:48 PM
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These make me love santa even more now.
These make me love santa even more now.
Member

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12-20-04 09:12 PM
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The last one is f***in awesome! LOL!
The last one is f***in awesome! LOL!
Vizzed Elite
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12-22-04 03:59 AM
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They are all lies, I would never...

-Santa
They are all lies, I would never...

-Santa
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