Here is a new place for bar jokes!  

Wow, that's pretty good. Here's my favorite: 


A guy walks in to a bar, sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gives it to him and carries on with his business. The guy sits quietly and sips his drink when all of a sudden he hears a voice.
"Hey, nice jacket. Is that leather?"
The guy looks around the bar, but he's the only one there, so he asks the bartender: "Hey, did you say something?"
"Me?" The bartender replied. "Nope."
So the man returns to his drink, takes a gulp, when he hears the voice again.
"Whoa, I love the design on your tie, where'd you get it?"
This time the guy is sure that he heard the voice, yet he's certain there's no one else at the bar, just a couple glasses and a bowl of nuts. He asks the bartender again: "Are you sure you didn't say something? I'm sure I heard someone say something about my tie."
The bartender again replied "Nope, I didn't say anything."
The guy returns to his drink again, this time a bit freaked out, so he nearly has a heart attack when he hears the voice again saying "Hey, that's a sweet watch. I've always wanted to get myself a Rolex." 
This time, the guy is almost panicking. He calls to the bartender and says. "Look man, i'm sure i heard something, so there's something weird going on. First I hear this voice that says 'hey, great jacket', then i hear one that says 'wow, nice tie', and now I just heard one that I could have sworn commented on my Rolex watch. What is going on here??"
The bartender looks at the guy with a puzzled look, and then suddenly goes:
"Oooohhh... I know. It was probably just the peanuts. They're complimentary."

Can they be " A (Insert noun here) walked into a bar..." as well?

A drunk goes into a bar. The bartender tosses him out as he is too
drunk. The drunk walks back into the bar. Again, the bartender throws
him out for being too drunk. Again the drunk walks into the bar. The
bartender is just about the throw him out when the drunk looks at him
and says, "How many bars do you own, anyway?"

a guy walks into a bar and says:ow,my leg.

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AceXtreme64 : who are you and what are you talking about?

Guy walks into a bar, he sits down with a bunch of biker men and talks for a bit and then approaches the counter.  He says to the bartender, "I'll bet you 50 bucks that I can stand on the other side of the room, and pee in a shot glass while you are holding it."

The bartender says, "Yeah right.  I'll take that bet, come on."

Bartender stands against the bar and holds the shot glass still while the man positions himself. The man starts to pee and misses the shot glass by a lot and pees right on the bartender's white shirt.  The bartender grins slyly and holds out his hand and says, "I do believe I have won the bet."

The man gives the bartender the $50 and then starts laughing loudly.  The bartender asks, "What's so funny?"

The man replies, "I just bet all those biker guys $200 that I could pee on you and make you like it."

thenumberone : lol it took me a while to understand that.

Horse walks into a bar, bartender says, "Why the long face?"

2 guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

a panda walks into a bar and orders some bamboo,
the bartender says um... ok here you go

The panda eats the bamboo then shoots the bartender 
Panda then gets up and just walks away



The police soon catch up to him and as he's getting arrested is asked; Why did you do it?
The panda replies simply 'Thats what pandas do, look in any book'
The police then finds a book on pandas and reads out loud from the book 'Pandas..... eat bamboo shoots and leaves'

A guy walks into a bar with his dog and he tells the bartender "I have a talking dog"

The bartender just thinks this is some stupid guy so he says "Prove it"

The guy says to the dog "What is on top of the bar?"

The dog says ROOF! ROOF!

Then the guy says to the dog "What's that on that tree?"

The dog says BARK! BARK!

Then the bartender says to the man "Well any dog can do that!"

So the man and the dog walk out of the bar and the dog says to the man "Do you think I should have said something else?"

A guy walks in a bar, he asks the bartender, "I want a super beer!"

The bartender says, "What is a super beer?"

The guy says, "A super beer is 5 beers combined at once."

The bartender says, "We don't have any, they don't even exist."

The guy then gets raged and smashes everything like the Angry German Kid smashes his keyboard to death.

The bartender then instantly throws the man out of the bar and says, "Get a life, you crazy phsyic man, who do you think you are!?"

The guy finally goes in the bar and begins secretly smashing things.



That's my guy walks into a bar joke.

Stevie 764 :  I don't understand your joke, I couldn't find the punch line :/