I spit out these words, like I’m important,
But in the end, you don’t give a f***
You want pretty words, and nice sounding song,
Don’t care about the man behind the machine, who give it his all,

He’s writing down the lyrics, he’s putting a rythym in his head,
He’s trying to market something to you, so that he has a reason to live,
He’s trying hard, he just wants to feel loved, important
He’s doing everything just to get that monkey off his back

See, there’s nothing he wants more, than for someone to care,
He just wants your love, but he doesn’t deserve it,
I’m awful, I don’t do nothing right, make my girl feel useless,
And my friends feel like s***, I can’t multitask, I can’t do it all,

Trying to do everything and my mind just explodes.
I’m all alone, trying to get composure, I’m no Eminem,
No visionary, I’m about as lyrically talented as a deaf parakeet,
But that’s fine, cuz I never saw myself as special, bout as special as a number two pencil

I’m in misery, no one can comfort me, I’m alone, and this is my destiny,
I’m trapped, free me of my cage, release my ambitions, I ain’t got no class,
I’m just an ass, I put together another pretty verse, most of you won’t notice,
That I’m probably suicidal, but that’s ok, anything for a fan, sell myself out, to make another buck.

I’m just a face in the crowd, I’m just one. I ain’t nothing special, who will miss me?
It’s a miracle that I have a girlfriend that loves me, because I’m about as friendly as a toothpick in the eye,
I’m such a dick to my parents, my siblings probably wished, they had a parrot, instead they got me, and I’m a terror
I’m driving everyone away like the bubonic plague.

Why am I alive, all I do is hurt, I’ve left behind my trail of pain.
I’ve killed off a man, ruined his dreams, by suggesting that something was not real, like Inception,
I bury myself into your mind, supplant a thought, make you go insane in the brain,
My will is like a train, it keep going and going till it runs over your hope.

My girl, she deflects all the hate, despite the fact that she should probably hate me too,
I’m ruining her life, making her have to protect a fool, one who, by the way is a major fu****g tool.
I don’t know what I can do, she should probably break up with me, break my heart, like it’d matter,
It’s all I know, it wouldn’t hurt me, because day after day it’s been the same old story

Play the broken record, at this point, what’s the difference. Process of me,
b****, complain, moan, get up try something and fail, and in the end be hurt, give up, change your mind,
Write a s***** rap or poem, give up on my dreams, accept defeat, get myself listening to MTV, change my mind again,
Write more crappy verses, put all together, sell it, and pretend like I wrote it from my heart.

My heart is actually hurt and wounded, and nobody cares, because this is another pretty version,
Of the cold hard truth, and all inevitabilities, I’m still in the same place I was 10 years ago, and despite all the change, like being 6 foot 1,
I’m still that underweighted nerd that can’t get anything right, depression and insanity, maybe some bi-polarity,
Thinking people actually care about a washed up hopeless case.

what is not good this time?

prasad1 :

... the poem. People say it's good sometimes, but this time it sucks

heh i think its a good poem leggy keep writeing

Whoa. That's a lot to take in. Is this a self-confession? Has this stuff been eating you up on the inside? At the same time though, despite all of the bleakness, there's a sense that there is some sick sense of humour to all of this. The references and the bathos made this quite interesting.

NotJon :

It's been eating me up inside yeah, but it gets far worse. At the deepest point, there are no funny jokes or references.

True but the bathos is also at its highest level at that point. It almost seems like you're unaware of how silly (for lack of a better word) you make your problems out to be. You really shouldn't be this sad man. Just let yourself be happy.

damn, that's alot...
I know how that feels

Damn Leggy those sound like some heavy words of truth. Or maybe I'm just being shallow. Or you might just be exaggerating, whatever the case though here's to getting through it for you and me both.