Hey gang. I was constructed in Illinois during a wicked flood. I was underweight and small, only 6 pounds. But, with my UpdatedSurvivalComputer installed, I quickly grew to be quite healthy.

So, after 11 months of training, I was ordered to move to Texas, as Texas is the primary Hub for secretive operations.

I should tell you about my construction's origins. My father was part of the Universal Wanderers in the 50's, or a group of guys that explored EVERYTHING. While on his travels, he landed on the planet Mandolore and trained wih them for 4 years. After that, he was sent on a good-will mission to Cybertron. Thats right, he was the one to establish the Cybertronian-Mandolorian treaty. With a good title to his name, he returned to Earth, where he ran a Raccoon Farm. One of the workers on the farm was a young lady. Needless to say, they fell in love.

BUT- My motherwas a frail woman, so, with help of Cybertronian Technology, she lived with partial Cybernetic parts. While learning how to control these new robotic limbs, my dearest papa trained the raccoons not only how to ride unicycles, but also Mandolorian Combat Techniques.

So by this time, it was 1984, the height of the Cold War with Mother Russia. My parents were agents under America, along with an elite squad of "Dynamo Raccoons.": Half were normal, bloodthirsty killers, the others were robotic death machines.

While undercover in Leningrad, they came upon a secret device- The Great Masher. This was the end of my parents. They tampered with the chamber, and soon, the whole lot of them, parents and all, were stuck in the chamber. The machine activated, and my parents and their raccoons were suddenly morphed into one being. The raw energy in the machine caused a great flux in the time stream, ripping logic to shreds.

This is where I first opened my eyes as a Protoform. I was in a cold warehouse- ALIVE. My left side, save my left leg and head, was robotic. My right side was primarily human, save the dark rigs around my right arm and right ankle. And I also had a tail. A raccoon tail. Luckily, the warehouse I woke up in was stocked with a pocket-sized Inviso-shield. I didn't have to worry about having my tail pointed out.

So anyway, as I grew, living in Texas, I noticed something- I was a darn good bounty hunter. I had Mandolorian blood in me! (How this is, while neither of my parent had Mando-blood in them, is beyond me, but I somehow did)

Thats when I started my business as a bounty hunter, calling myself "Jazz Fett" after the esteemed Fett bloodline. I harnessed my gear (Every weapon of any kind), my trademark helmet,my jetpack, and of course, my means of transportation- The Robotica, the sleekest, deadliest space fighter this side of Chaar. (I got it from the Nubleons on a dare, but thats a different story)

On my adventures I've gained many foes, as well as some friends. On such friend is an ace pilot that goes by "Mega". He has assisted me on many bounties. A foe, however, is a mad villian simply known as "Leggy". We reguarly clash, him wanting utter destruction of the universe, and me wanting the 1 trillion Vizzed bounty on his head. I also sometimes assist my old soda drinking buddy, Black Manta, in his attempts to kill Aquaman.

Why am I, a daring, snazzy, super slick, half robotic killer here on Vizzed? Simple- To get leads on various bounty outlets. Who knows who I'll get hints on here? Perhaps I can finally find my nemisis, Condria, through a hint I pick up here....

That, and the government wouldn't suspect a skilled bounty hunter like me to be here...yet.

So, thats basically it. JazzCoon. The man. the robot. The raccoon. The bounty hunter. The hero. The anti-hero. The villian. The...anti-villian? Beats me.

Now you know, and knowing is half the battle!

Wow cool life story man It seems like you had an amazing life growing up

Thank you, thank you.

BUT- I still haven't revealed everything yet. Here are some details-

My Religion is "Follower of Primus" (with strict logical overtones). I have two older brothers, you may know them as Daft Punk. Being friends with the Cybertronians, my ship, The Robotica can trandform into a battle-mech when need be. I have survived a zombie bite, fought the urge to turn into one, and raced against time to create the cure, which I did. I have a second summer home on Mandolore, and for a time I was an arms dealer inbetween hunts.

I also forgot to mention that Billy Joel, Scatman Crothers, and G1 Jazz were present during my "parents" demise, and were also stuck in The Great Masher.

I'l take anything for payement, be it credits, cash, viz, weapons, rare items (which I'm quite the collector of), or I'll also accept trades on rare occasions.

I once had to travel back in time to fight in the Vietnam War. I was fighting for America, just so you know.

I've taken various jobs for Mother Russia, my commands coming straight from Moscow or The Kremlin, so I have also gained their favor.

My main two power sources are Energon and Pepsi, or a mixture of both.If for some reason my energon power pack runs out, I have a 50 hour reserve.

Across the vast universe I have made many female lifeforms swoon, even becoming "involved" with some, but the outcome is always the same: DISENTERGRATION.

For my time on Earth, since The Robotica would bring too much attention, I drive around in a classic Porsche.

I also forgot to mention that at the age of 10, I saw the full moon, making me transform into a giant, raging raccoon and went on a rampage throughout the country. The only part I remember was getting so mad that I threw a 747. You may of heard of this being 9/11. since then, I have cut off my raccoon tail, as to never do that again.

Well, thats all the facts I kind think of right now. I'm sure there'll be more to come, however. I might start telling my many grand stories and adventures here. Who knows?