Hi people, I got an assignment at school where we had to make a short story, so while working on it, I decided to share it with you guys, to see it. The name is "The Darkness of Logic", but it may change later on. Suggestions would also do good (for the name) .
So, heres part of what I have right now.

The Darkness of Logic
David Maher

It’s been 6 years since that dreadful day, where everything had changed. My life was destroyed the year before. I slipped right into a coma causing me to forget everything, and made me lose any knowledge of how this started. I’m in full belief this started before the coma. I had to resort to being a rebel to society, since everything is now was ruled by evil. This group rose to power, called “The Oblivion Light”. The story is, this guy had been killed by his love, got resurrected, not only killed her, but also went on a massacre and rose to power by people fearing him. Fearing they would be killed by him. People are hiding now. Almost the whole day, an army group of killers go around looking for certain people, ones that look able to fight back, and the rest is over. I and my friends are probably the only ones that don’t abide by his rules. My name is Lance; my friends are Nate, Garth, John, and Robert. There’s one more, though… but I rarely see her, yet she seems to deeply care about me… I’m just hoping she’s okay right now…
“Where is he?” “He was supposed to be here an hour ago…” said Nate.
“Be patient, you’ve been saying the same thing over and over for ten minutes now. If he’s not here yet, asking over a thousand times will NOT GET HIM HERE ANY TIME SOON.” said Garth.
“There he is!” “Looks like it did work! Haha!”
“….” Garth stared in silent frustration.
“Who’s that behind him?” asked Robert.
I knew that I was in some danger, a group of the killers have been chasing me for hours, and my Motorcycle is low on fuel….
“Don’t just stand there! Do something about them!!”
Robert and Garth had set traps up ahead; hopefully the chase won’t go to long that id hit them. John and Nate started firing all the projectile weapons we had, and eventually hit the wheel of their seemingly really fast tank. It didn’t do much, yet.
“Quick Lance! Get out of there before your caught in the blast!!” screamed Robert.
I did the quickest decision I had towards getting away; I immediately stopped the motorcycle and launched towards the opening of where the tank was controlled, and shot a rock at the eye of the controller, he had grabbed at his eye in pain with both hands, so I figured it was time I drive out. I quickly got my Motorcycle back up, and started driving away. I looked back once, only when the projectile exploded. A giant inferno was over blazing the road at that point, and I was doing my best to stay out of it.
“Lance! The bag!”
I had forgotten that I had a bag with me, including special notes and weapons to fight them off. I looked back to see that it’s about to be engulfed by the inferno. I immediately jumped off my motorcycle, and lunged at the bag. I was lucky enough not to get burnt.


More will come after some opinions, and just for a side note, some of the names mentioned were inspired by user names here .

Nice job! Hopefully there will be more soon. And I hope others will like it as much as I did!

not much activity on this so far anyways, my update is here.

Later on that day, we got back to our base, and decided to discuss the legitimacy of the items stolen.
“I’m not too sure what to think of these… They seem legit, but how hard was it to retrieve them?” said John. ”Knowing that would give us a better understanding of how real and confidential these are.”
“They were a bit difficult, about fifty to seventy guards there protecting it. Twenty extra there were two groups of killers.”
“Well, knowing how evil he is, that seems pretty easy, and laid back.” said Nate.
“Why not just look and find out?” asked garth.
We looked through the noted for hours upon hours. We pretty much understood most of it, except for one part…
“Why would he need to build a rocket?!” asked John.
“Why would he need to kill his love? Why would he need to kill tons of people? Why would he need to over-run the political system and destroy logic? It’s obviously all part of revenge.” said Garth.
“But how would a rocket bring revenge in any way?” asked Robert.
“Well, my idea is that the rocket would be a sort of weapon, or….”
“Or what?” asked Garth.
“Or… he’s trying to escape something…”
“Like? And either way, where would he escape to?” asked Nate.
“Tons of planets have the stability to sustain life for humans, so he could escape to any of them.”
“But that still brings the question of what he’s trying to escape…” replied Garth.
“…. May I see the bag?”
As Robert gives me the bag, two documents fall out.
I read over the papers, and figure the worst to come, is going to happen.
“Wha…. What does it say?” asked Robert.
“….. He’s going to destroy the planet and everyone on it….”
“WHAT???!!!” “HE CAN’T DO THAT!!!” “HOW DOES HE HAVE BOMBS THAT STRONG ENOUGH TO DETONATE A PLANET???!!!” they screamed in horror.
“This explains how.” I gave them the papers explaining how the rocket has bombs that can be launched from it, and has a detonation switch that can blow up bombs that were buried deep into the crust of each country and continent in the world, some that even have more than one bomb.
“I can understand revenge as of different ways, which we have tried to end before, but this is idiotically insane.” said Robert. “Even if he does escape to a different planet, he wouldn’t be able to survive! Each planet is currently empty, with the exception of plants and water, meaning he wouldn’t be able to eat anything, and eventually dying off. A complete waste of time!” said Robert.
“He’s basically already dead, but brought back to life. I am sure dying of starvation won’t be of any problem to him. The constant need to kill things would more possibly kill him from insanity.” explained Garth.
“Don’t be fooled by his rocket. I reread his documents on this project, and this isn’t an ordinary rocket, he can travel to parallel dimensions with It.” said John.
“So he will destroy one world, and then move onto the other? But that would then result into the same situation of which I explained about if it were for ordinary space travel.” said Robert.
“Traveling to parallel dimensions is a difficult thing, mind you. To us, there can be a parallel dimension, yet to our parallel dimension, there could be a complete different one. Resulting into an infinite amount of dimensiions that are parallel to ours.”

Nice job. That's a good story.

preety good i like it

this story is amazing

Thats really good man what did you get as a grade at school on it?

Awesome looks like this will be very successful to make a longer version to publish
anyways, next part (PS, its longer so I can just post each page now)

“So he’s going to be killing tons of people over and over again for pure enjoyment?” asked Nate.
“Not really…. What he doesn’t know, is if two of those worlds have their doom, then the dimensional placement will become unstable, and a gigantic supernova will appear, and each planet will be in one dimension to meet their doom.” explained John.
“But this can be avoided though, right?”
“Yeah, definitely. But it will be impossible with him being immortal and all. Throw spare time in to delay the destruction, maybe. But at the moment, it’s impossible. “said John.
“Than what do you make of this?” I pulled out a gold colored liquid out of my pocket; it was in a small capsule, about finger length. If that finger were index finger.
“I take it as dirty water.” said John, with no hesitations.
“Wrong.” “This liquid was the ONLY reason why those guards were. This has the ability to kill him!”
“But do you seriously think we’ll EVER get the chance to kill him?” asked Garth, sarcastically. “Stop living in a dream lance. The world and every person and dimension is done for.”
As the four walk away, I stand there in complete frustration and anger. I then put the notes away on a shelf, put the capsule in my pocket, and run out the door, and drive off.
As I ride down the street, my mind goes crazy with thoughts on all of this. I also notice I’m noticeably unarmed. Then… I remember…. Again….
Six years ago- Lance is running down a hall I complete and udder fear of the moment, alongside him is Sapphire. They have been running for a long time now, and are almost exhausted. Guards have been chasing them the whole time, yet they are nowhere close to being exhausted. They are close to going into a door. They are about to reach the door knob, and a bullet is shot. Luckily, neither Lance nor Sapphire was shot, but it shows that the level of danger is higher than they thought. They open the door, and to their amazement, they find two escape pods. Both are attached, so they land in the same spot. Lance takes the left, and Sapphire takes the right. Lance pushes the button to escape, both doors close, and they are launched out. They don’t see any guards from their view. They think all is well, half way to earth. A beam is shot from the space station, and it gets a direct hit on the link between the pods. They break apart, and they land in different locations. Lance’s escape-pod has a malfunction in the landing, and crashes. His door crashed off within entering earth’s orbit. Lance starts to lose consciousness, his vision is fading. And soon, he closes his eyes, speaking only one word… Sapphire….
Out of memory, I have crashed into the side of the road. Should I be as worried of the past as I am? Should I forget about it? These questions haunt me each day I remember that dreadful past…
I’m finally at the gas station, so I can hopefully get to put fuel into my motorcycle, but there seems to be a bit of trouble…
I pull out my gun; I aim towards the tank of their car, and fire. I got a hit, but I also got caught. They traced the shot to my location, but they stepped forward and got caught in a ring of fire. I quickly escaped before they could do anything.
I now have to find a non-destroyed gas station. Trouble is, there isn’t any till two towns over, and the one blocking the way is where all the guards and where the space station is being built. If I go there, it’s a sure one way ticket to death. I’ll have to pass by through either the forest, or a different town, and the forest sounds safer at the moment. I’d go and fight him now, but I’m barely prepared. All I have is a motorcycle that’s almost out of fuel and a case of his poison. The gunshot back there was the last bullet. Thing is, I don’t even like using guns… Near the space station are more of people with swords than guns, so I’ll steal a sword from a few of them… I could also find an archery store and get equipment there.
I am at a half hour mark of traveling through this forest now. There doesn’t seem to be any problems yet, but I have the slightest feeling about being followed.
“Show yourself!”
An object immediately ran past me, at a speed that was fast enough so I couldn’t see it.
“Come out and fight, you coward!”

more

Well after seeing my grade on this, I was very disappointed Ah well, who cares. One person (or grade) isn't going to make me give up on this. Here's the next part of my story

Right when I finished saying that, an arrow hit the tree that was exactly beside me.
“Want to fight like that, ‘eh? Then you’re messing with the wrong person!”
I quickly climbed my way up the trees, and once I looked down, I saw the attacker.
“You’re not getting away now!”
I jumped on the tops of the trees till I finally reached the branch right next to the attacker. I dove down on the intruder, and sure enough, it was one of the elite guards. The elites are like ninjas, per say. They are supposed to be extremely stealthy, which means there must be more around.
I figured the safest way to go was up, but it’s always good to take some extra defense. I took the Bow and arrows from the elite, and went about on my journey, traveling through the tree tops.
Back in town- “There he is, sir. He stole the weaponry from our elite that had been sent to navigate through the forest to find intruders.” said the look-out guard.
“Well, mind telling me what we’re going to do about it?” said the manager guard. “Send out more elites!” “We can’t risk him getting to town and discovering our weaponry bay!”
“As you say.” The look-out guard picked up a megaphone and repeated the same line over and over for one whole minute. “All Elites to the main forest!” “All Elites to the main forest!”
Back to Lance’s point of view- “I travel through the forest for about three minutes, and I attract THIS much attention?!” I looked back to find a whole army of elites following him, and they are getting closer to attacking.
“Want to play, huh? Well, I know just how to take care of you guys!” In that split moment, I froze up. I don’t know what is happening at all. There is no reason whatsoever that I’d need to go into shock like that.
Eventually, the guards started to attack me. I couldn’t defend myself at all. I then fell over, on to the cold, dark ground. I’m not sure if they went after me or not. I probably laid there for five minutes, and I finally started to move. I went towards the area they started to attack me in. Lucky for me, they were all there. I started to look through my bag, and now it seems as if I won’t be able to use what I need.
“Looking for something?” the words that were sarcastically spoken by one of the higher up elites. I could tell he was pretty important, He was holding a sword, which only few guards are allowed to have for weapons.
“Come with us, or we shall have to kill you know.”
I didn’t know anything to say, but I knew what was going to happen. So in reply I said “Do I have any other options?”

i love this story

Why didn't your teacher like it?

It's a nice mixture of Star Wars and Robin Hood

Unfortunately, I can not finish the story. Our printed copies won't be returned till the month of may, and my computer got destroyed and I don't have the story on my iPhone

alexanyways : Can you close this, please?