Any joke at all and i'll give 500 Viz to the funniest joke you posted.The vizz will be given to the best joke in the end of the month and the contest starts again the first of the month.

idk

Why are the stars in the sky?



Because there scared of Chuck Norris

alexanyways : since he's offering Viz shouldn't the thread be in Vizzed Market?

mentos34 : this can be considered spamming and if a mod sees it you may get a warning. Besides, you lose Viz by posting so few words so try to make larger posts that adds something to the thread


OK, I have a very good politically correct joke
So it happened that...no, no, no, it's not PC...So a boy was going down the street and...no, non PC...There was this blond and...no, non PC either...
...
...
Oh! this one, this one...Nope, it's not
...
...
*sigh*
...
...
Sorry

I'm gonna move it. Thanks to flambeau.

i posted this in legecyme3's thread 3 jokes
there was a rich man who was going on a train to new york the next day and his night gaurd had a dream that the same train crashed so he called his boss and told him about the dream so he never went on the train and on the news it told about the same train that crashed then the rich man called the night gaurd and then he said thank you for saving my life but your fired. why did he fire him...................because he was sleeping on the job!!!!

there were 3 aliens that landeed on earth and they went to different areas to learn english one went to the park one went to a school and another to a resteraunt then the alien at the restaraunt learned the word forks and knives so he said it constently then the person at school learned the word me so he said me me me then the alien in the park learned the words he stole my loly pop. so they wentt to a murder scene and a cop asked do you 3 know who did this and the alien who went to school said me me me me me and the cop said how did you do it then the alien who went to the restaraunt said forks and knives forks and knives! then the cop said why did you do it then the alien who went to the park said he stole my loly pop! well those are my best storys i got some other good ones but all you gotta do is ask if you want some more

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services.

He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: “Take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, “OK, now what?”

My favorite joke of all time but I have better ones too.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”



Here is One!

its a bit racist, so sorry.
what do you call a bunch of white people chasing a black person?




a race.

there are 3 kittens 1 kitten asks her mom , mommy why is my name sunflower ?.. the mom replies, because when you were born a sunflower seed fell on your head.. the 2nd kitten asks then why is my name rose... the mom replies because when you were born rose petals fell on your head... the 3rd kitten says ... nhjklofbkjghlhf fhGJhfhjsdgjfbjkI...and the mom yells SHUT UP CINDERBLOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If a tree falls on a woman, and nobody's around to hear it--wait, why is there a tree in the kitchen?

ronaldo7 : Q: Why couldn't the 11-year old get in to the pirate movie?
A: Because it rated RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG!

THe last date for the funniest joke is at the end of December.Then whoever had the funniest joke will be sent 500 vizz.Keep on posting jokes you guys.

There are two kids named poop and shut up. shut up throws the football in the woods. "ill get it." says poop. after a few hours poop still hadn't come out so shut up went to the chief. "whats your name son?" "Shut Up." "I said whats your name son." "Shut up!" "What you doing son?" "Looking for poop in the woods.

pokepoke10 : Ha that was funny man if you can come up with more like that by the end of the month you will have a chance to win the 500 Viz.

I found this joke on ahajokes.com


A bribe for your professor

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $56 change.

Why couldn't the wood chuck chuck any more wood?

Because the wood chuck died from a roundhouse kick to the face after attempting to Chuck Norris.

ronaldo7 : Knock knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? What the heck are you an owl???

a man walked into a bar... and said ow

December 31 last day for the best joke of the month then will begin with the contest again on the 1st of January