So, what hath ye knights done to date? Hath ye saved any damsels? Smitten any foes of thine? Spoken ye olde English? Personally, I haven't done much... last time I tried, my unfortunately dimwitted companions nearly got us all killed. They didn't realize that I wasn't supposed to be the only one who carried weapons...

well,i almost slayed a dragon,but then i got stabbed in the foot by a sticker,and then i tripped over a log,and then fell down a hill.but the dragon couldn't just let me go,so while i was rolling down this grass-covered hill,he torched me with his breath and caught the hill(and a nearby village[and the nearby castle with a princess in it])on fire along with me,so then i ran to the "ye old wishing well" and saved my own skin,then fled the scene
so that's how i almost killed a dragon.yay for me!!!

Well I could tell you about the time the Swagger Club helped me fell a behemoth...

but I think I will tell the story of how I once found Sheograth.

See I was in the middle of a quest for the shoes of super speed. I was in the Tazmanian Jungle when I heard rumor of the city of Iewjlksns Wajdos. So feeling a hunch, I abondoned my current quest to find this legendary person. Sheograth was hard to track down, but I learned from the locals that he didn't even exist. So I left. And that was how I found Sheograth.

I slayed my ps3 with my blinking red light of death
pretty good

Aye, a knightly deed saith ye? I've shown my self worthy of being a knight. I, Sir Specter the Gadget hath joined (pronounced joy--ned in my knight accent) the invincible knights so that I may become a little more well known, and I methinksI have doneth that.

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I actually came up with a little jingle I wrote in the song thread.

Lately, I hath done somethin' very helpful indeed. I made all the starving people in the village or Foodsville some awesome sammiches...then ran when I got the bill for the supplies, since I'm broke

i hath recently tried to rescue a princess,whom turned out to be kirby and proceeded to eat me and become me by stealing my soul (thumbs up for brentalfloss reference ),then i threw my sword at him and he just ate it and left me weaponless (and yes,this was after i went through his digestive system. btw,did anyone else notice he ate tokyo? just saying) (thumbs up for godzilla reference) and then i guess he had enough out of me,because he spit my sword back at me and stabbed me in the leg, then ran off to kill all others in the world
and that's how i tried to save a princess!

bob92 : I hath tried to stop that vile beast as well. He merely ate all my men and stole the sword that one of them carried (all the rest left theirs at home... again ) and dueled me. Unfortunately, I dueleth not that well, so I hath lost to the monster... who is currently headed towards the Mushroom Kingdom. Last I heard, Princess Daisy was his latest victim and the Mario Bros fought and detained him and have now announced their retirement. smh. (20 Viz to someone who gets the reference)

i hath tried to fight him yet again... he hath joined forces with jigglypuff, and I believe i shall put a bounty on his head... a high five for whoever destroys this devilish duo! and,if you can give a proper description, you shall find yourself retrieving some Viz as well!up to a thousand Viz for an amazing description and a pic of this power-packed team as dead!

Well, one time I was supposed to go save a princess from an evil witch who was going to sacrifice her to summon some sort of Big, Evil Demon Thingey. So, I find the cave, and fight my way through. It was in a DS game, so it wasn't too tough. After all of the mindless shadow-things wandering in mindless, easily programmable circles and bosses with really great graphics but predictable attack patterns, I got to the end.

Turned out the witch was pretty hot. The princess, not so much. Between you and me, I think she was 8-bit. So, I cut off Miss Witch mid evil-monologue, and said that I'd changed my mind about the whole rescuing-thing. Monarchies aren't a good type of legitimate government anyways. She thought that was hilarious. We started chatting, and we turned out to have a lot in common. We're both fanatical cooks, and she knew a whole lot about the restaurant business. We really hit it off. She ended up teaching me all sorts of Black Magic Stuff. I can shoot lightning from my fingers now! So, she gets around to sacrificing Princess Thing. Honestly, I was having too pleasant of a time to care. Then she summons Big, Evil Demon Thingey. Yeah, it was your basic krakenoid*. Elder god not of this plane, big purple ball of tentacles, sole mission to expand and devour all of creation. You know.

Miss Witch whacked it with a frying pan until it stopped undulating. Then she chopping it up into cubes remarkably fast (nice to see a caster with some melee proficiency for a chance. This girl was starting to grow on me!) and proceeded to fry them up. She made a few dishes for the two of us, deep-fryed a few cubes, put some in a pasta with red sauce and lots of basil. It was to die for! Or, at least that's what the princess would have said. Gotta break a few eggs to make an omelet, right? Oh, she also cooked an omelet. I don't think I've ever eaten that well, and I'm a lord! It was getting late, so we retired. Yeah.

After more squid demon for breakfast, and a cheery goodbye, I decided it was time to go. I tricked the king into rewarding me for saving his daughter. Don't ask me how, (seeing as she wasn't there and I kind of think that the witch secretly whisked her into the gumbo) that kind of swagger isn't easy.

Me and the witch meet up every few weekends for brunch and coffee. Still a nice girl!


And They All Lived Happily Ever After.

The End.


(Whoever gets what the * is a reference to gets 300 viz)

Today, I encountered Merlin's uncle's cousin's best friend's son-in-law's great-grandfather's former employee's great nephew's brother's roommate's 4-H club leader's Sunday School teacher's youngest son's best friend's dog. It snarled at me, so I smote it with my trusty sword. The sword broke in half. I hath made a mental note to no longer use swords made out of Play-Doh. I then tried to shoot it with my bow, only to find suction cups do not stick to fur. Hopefully they work better against dragons and black witches...

So, after I failed to make the dog flinch... I ate a chicken and returned home.

*BTW the reference in my last post was to There Will Be Brawl... so I guess I'll give myself 20 Viz since no one got it :/*

i hath lately tried to slay a great amount of beasts with no such luck
i tried to slay the dragon of the forest
the dragon of the volcano
the dragon of the lake
and the dragon of New York
every time,i ended up getting burned, just like when i tried to face mephiles... or the time i tried to capture the Hydra(who knew that his mist breath would create a burn?)
i hath also tried to slay the local hobo...but then he picked up a beer bottle,smashed it against my sword,and laid waste to me,my crew,and the nearby village of Invincible People Who Can Never Die (who knew they would result in such bloody deaths?)
p.s.um...what chicken did you eat?could it be,perhaps... THE HOLY CHICKEN WE SHALL QUEST FOR SOON???

bob92 : Actually, I ate the unholy chicken of Istanbul. It tasted rather good, but lately I've been feeling rather... vile.

bigNATE : well,that's good to know,because i would have to slice you open if you had eaten it
but,on to more pressing news.did you know evil isn't really too bad?it's all of these neutrals that get in the way!at least you can team up with evil creatures to defeat a common enemy,you know?but all these neutral shopkeepers do is take your money when you could easily kill them for any items you need!stupid rip-offs.so, today, i went and bombed the shopkeeper guild...after strapping to bombs to a cheetah,of course
he caused a mass slaughter,and then the police FINALLY went down there and put it down.so then,when they are taking the body away,i detonate the oh-so-cleverly hid giant bomb he had in his mouth the whole time
and that's how i got my revenge on the shopkeepers

I hath regrettably been unfruitful in thine knightly duties if you do mean by going on rescue missions or tending to villages, lately thou hast been sparring with our men, better honing our skills, studying the ways of the sword on and off the battlefield, whilst also gaining textual knowledge.. That is what thou hast accomplished thus far!