this is an earlier peice in my writing peice's i've done a little better since but its always good to go back over some old work anywys what do ya's think

“Hey Jaz” nudging Jasmyne’s shoulder, I try to wake her as she sleeps on the couch “bubzy, wake up”
Groaning she looks at me “hey, how ya going Link” groggily smiling
“Yeah I’m good, but I think I’d better get you home”
“Mmm, ok” she slumps back down, after a night of drinking she was looking a little worse for wear. We had all had a bit to drink, although I hadn’t had as much as some of the others, so head is a little clearer.
Slipping my arms under her I pick Jaz up, slinking her arms around me she starts to fall asleep again
“Hey Link, what are ya doing’?” Jarred, a mate of mine shouts across the room
“Just taking Jasmyne home”
“Cool, cool” turning back round he continues his game of pool
Trying to get Jasmyne to stand up was more difficult than I thought it would be, but I eventually get her to lean against the car so I can open the door and get her in. Grumpily she gets in and tries to get comfy, not helping one little bit as I try to put a seat belt around her. Finally I get her in and jump in the other side.
As I drive down the streets I glance at her every so often, and ponder what she said to me a few months ago, about weather it was special to watch the opposite sex sleep. I agree with her now. Watching the peacefulness and happiness in a girls’ face when they sleep is always special to me for some reason.
Reaching her parents’ house I hear her phone ring. Finding it on the floor of the car I pick it up. It’s her dad, I decide to answer it. “Hello”
“Hello who’s this? Where is Jasmyne?” he says angrily.
“This is Link, one of Jasmyne’s friends and she’s right here Sir, I’m just bringing her home.”
“Oh ok, is she alright”
“Yes she’s fine Sir, just a little tired is all”
“Ok then, well thank you Link. My wife and myself are not home at the moment, so just tell Jasmyne to use her key to get in. Make sure she is okay and then go.”
“Yes sir, that’s what I was going to do, I have to get back to my own party anyways so yeah I wasn’t planning on sticking around too long.” I make a joke to break the crispness coming across the phone, it doesn’t seem to work and we say goodbye.
Hanging up, I put the phone in my pocket, get out of the car and struggle to lift Jasmyne out of the other side. Reaching the front door I wake Jaz up and ask her about her key, pointing towards her pocket she mumbles something and drifts of again, figuring that the key was in her pants pocket I scrounge around in her pocket finding it without to much trouble. I juggle it in my hand as I try to balance Jaz in one arm and put the key in the lock. Finally getting the door open, I slide in and let the door close behind me. Walking through the dark house I find her room and place Jasmyne down on her bed, I cover her up. I brush her hair back from her face and whisper, “Night Night bub’s, catch ya next time.” I kiss my fingers I place them on her forehead.
As I start to walk out the room I hear her mumble something again, turning back to her and see that she’s calling me over.
“Don’t go”
“Awe Jaz, I’m sorry but I can’t stay” softly speaking to her, by now I was back by her side. Suddenly grabbing my arm She won’t let me go.
“Please don’t leave me” She begs me, almost starting to cry, “please, I know you love me, please don’t go just stay here. I love you too please just don’t leave me alone” hearing that, my heart wrench hard, I do love her but it wasn’t a good idea to stay. How could I leave her now, when she is nearly in tears? I pull the chair over that was against the wall and sat next to her bed
“Ok I’ll stay, but only because I’m a good friend”
She starts to move over in her bed, “Link, come and snuggle with me , please” she begs me with her eyes “I’m cold and you could keep me warm” I could see that she was in a state.
“Sorry Jasmyne, although I love you and stuff, I think it would be better if I didn’t”
“Awe, please, I love you, we could fall asleep in each others arms like you always say you want to with a girl”
“Jaz! No I can’t I shouldn’t even be staying, ok, we may love each other, but right now I think it would be better if nothing happened”
“Awe” looking at me she tries to sucker me in with her gorgeous deep brown eyes.
“Jaz, I think for now, being friends would be better for us ok, maybe another time but not now” I finally get her to settle down a bit, and after about 15 minutes talking she slips of again, I listen to her murmurs and little sounds she makes as she dreams of everything sweet and pretty.
I find myself stretched across her floor when I wake, looking up I see a pair of feet next to my head, shooting up like a soldier at attention.
“I thought I told you to leave”
“Yes sir, I’m sorry sir” I look at the ground feeling ashamed
“Morning Daddy, Morning Link.” Jasmyne sounds brighter than she did the night before.
“You’ve got some explaining to do young man!” Jasmyne’s dad sounds like a bomb about to explode.
“Dad, leave him alone he only stayed cause I asked him to.” Jasmyne says from behind me.
“Really? Well, if that is the case, I guess I’d better thank you for looking after her, but if I find out that you tried anything on my little girl I will hurt you”
Jaz was getting rather cross. “DAD!” She screams. “He tried to leave but I wouldn’t let him. Cut him some slack! He slept on the floor. Please, just leave him alone.” Mr. Banks looked hurt, and I could see that he knew he shouldn’t be punishing anyone
“Well thanks again and yeah leave when you’re ready” skulking out of the room he murmurs something at me
“Thanks for that” I say to Jasmyne.
“Don’t worry about him; he’s just over protective” she gestures me over “Here” hugging me she thanks me for helping her last night
“I’d better get back to see what damage they’ve done anyways Jaz, so I’ll catch ya later, k?”
“I call you, later today, if it’s all cool?” remembering I still had her phone I pass it back to her. Giving her a little tap on the nose
“Yeah sure” leaving the house I notice that Mr Banks was watching me, I don’t react to it and just walk to my car get in and drive home to see who’s still there.

Almost sounds like a personal experience? Not much for the Settings or character descriptions. Good dialogue though. Ummm yeah, what I gather is the story is set in England and the people are older than the legal drinking age.

its actually set in australia and it is set in an older age then i am

Well that would also make sense. Mates...

Yea...character description and setting description would be nice to know....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

maybe one day wen i get the energy i'll fix it
but until then be happy with it

On a scale of one to ten I give it a 4.00001 Which isn't too horribly bad.

yeah, thats not to bad atleast its not complete crap

AMEN = I am in agreement.