This is an introduction for a story I am writing, and I want to know your opinions of my writing. The title of this work is: Four Kings

"Open up your majesty, your subjects are rebelling!" called a voice from behind the locked door.
All his life Zyterion had never imagined anything as drastic as what his subjects were about to do. He knew that he could always just kill every one of them using the sword of the four kings, but he would never so much as hurt one of his subjects. He knew that they were being corrupted, but by who, he did not know. Rumors of his supposed torturing of people for no apparent reason were false, but who knew but him and his close advisors? According to his heart he knew who it might be, but his mind was telling him otherwise. He had imagined that his older brother, Emperion, had been behind all of this, since he gained the smaller part of the kingdom.
He refused to believe that the brother that he idolized growing up had betrayed him. The brother he used to know was compassionate, but war can do things to men, horrific things, and evil things. The only brother he had now was the brother of his memories. Now there was just a power-hungry prince in his body. He knew he could never beat his brother, but he could at least try. He snuck through the tunnel under the castle that had led to the country. He knew the greatest dangers live not in the tunnel, but in the kingdom to which the tunnel ended.
As he traveled through the tunnel with his father's ancient sword, he thought he heard rustling noises behind him. "Uriel Reveal!" he shouted, and suddenly his sword had started to emit an enormous light.
A zashera had been hiding behind him, and he knew what it was from his father's ancient journal. The zashera had been as he had always imagined it. It had an eagle's face, with a human body and the legs of a panther. It had screeched at him as he had called upon the archangel Uriel. His father had encountered hundreds of zasheras in his lifetime, and all of them he had slain with the same sword in Zyterion's hand. He had never been as good as his brother in swordsmanship, but he knew enough so that this mere creature could not even lay a scratch on him. As he jumped back though, the creature had blindly swung its claws at him, and had torn his forest green cape. He soon beheaded the creature for tearing the cape of his father. The creature had lost its life just as his father had explained to him, in the shadows, because it just disappeared, and nobody knew whether it actually died or not, but every time someone killed zashera they had vivid dreams of where it had gone after being injured. In fact, Zyterion's father usually had one of these nightmares each week, and he could say he had enjoyed every dream.
He had been walking for hours, when he finally heard more footsteps he stopped. These footsteps were not the click-clacking of a zashera's talons, but boots, boots of foot soldiers. He knew he could never lay a hand on any of his subjects, but his brother's subjects were another matter. All of his brother's subjects had been greedy, and they did not know right from wrong. They merely looked at everything as if they would look at money or women, with greed. He started running from the boots, and every time he listened he could hear them gaining on him. He would not use Uriel's light, so he had decided to use another of his archangels. "Gabriel's Mirror!" he had said.
Just as he called upon Gabriel, he could feel his body materializing, and he knew what he must do before anything else. He must not let the sword fall into the wrong hands. The sword's original name had been the Four Angels, but when he called upon the Four Angels, the sword had not reacted as strongly as when he called upon the kings. When he called upon Gabriel, he could go through anything, and he could not be seen. Although, there was a flaw in the power, and it was that if anybody were to call him by name then Gabriel, being the angel of divine truth, would show who was being cloaked by his power. The only one who had known of that power before him and his ancestors, would be his brother, but he would have told his subjects about it by now. He had to hurry.
He started running backwards, and soon found himself almost right next to the footsteps. He quickly passed through whoever was running to find him, but he found that his brother had corrupted many of his men. He would never know that the soldiers running for him were his loyal army, who would never know of their king's fate.
He knew of only one way to make sure his brother did not get the sword, but the ceremony would make him terribly weak. He would have to call upon the angels themselves, and this time the angels incarnates would not be enough. Since only he and his brother had known of this ceremony, he expected his brother to be there, waiting for him. Running through the tunnel had soon made him reflect upon his most recent action. Was he really going to leave his subjects without letting it be known how he had not done any of the actions he was accused of? Was he really that much of a coward? No, he had found that none of what he had accused himself of had been true, and for some reason every time he called upon the angels, he had gained a sense of courage. He had almost reached the door when it opened, and there upon the top of the steps stood a man who he had not seen since his rage at the reading of their father's will. Upon the steps was Emperion of the Forsaken Dagger. The Forsaken Dagger that had been held in his hand was gleaming in all of its jade cast glory. "Ah! Brother, how good it is to see you, and in Gabriel's mirror I see!" shouted Emperion.
Soon he realized that he would face his brother, but he would face him after the sword had been safely sealed away. "Emperion! How dare you lie to my subjects about all of these false blasphemies!" shouted Zyterion just as his mirror had broken.
"Is that any way to welcome your brother to his new kingdom?" Emperion chuckled.
"You are not my brother because..." stopped Zyterion.
"Because what, Zyterion?" questioned Emperion.
"…Because my brother is dead!" yelled Zyterion.
As he had said that he swiped at his brother with the glorious claymore, but he missed completely. Zyterion had not been old enough to join the army when his brother had been drafted. At first, Zyterion had been jealous of Emperion because his father had also had to enlist in the army, and he would've tried to even if he was not allowed. Zyterion had thought of glorious battles that Emperion and his father had been in, fighting side by side as father and son. Unluckily, Emperion and their father had never seen each other as soon as they joined the army. Their father had been in the front line, whilst his brother had been a special fighting task, and in Zyterion's opinion, which was the most awful of the army's fighting tasks. His fighting task had been pillaging, which included killing women and children.
As his missed swing flew by his brother, he knew he was in trouble. Just as he thought, his brother had taken advantage of the situation, and he thrusted the dagger into his brother's side. His insides had exploded with pain, and he knew it was a fatal blow, just as all blows from his brother's dagger had been. "Raphael Heal!" shouted Zyterion as he jumped back with the dagger still in his side.
"So, you are still relying on the angel's for help, brother? What a foolish thing to do because the power of good has only limited power, but if you were to join me, and my master then we could rule all of Europe as brothers!" announced Emperion.
The thought of joining his brother after he had gone to the army had never crossed his mind, and it never would cross it. "I do not blame you Emperion for everything evil that has happened," said Zyterion as he removed the dagger from his side, "but, I do blame you for collapsing to the evil!"
"Collapsing? You think I collapsed to this power? What a joke, I merely harnessed it for my own purpose," Emperion objected.
Whilst his brother ranted on, incoherent to Zyterion's hearing, he dropped the dagger from his hand. From the wound blood gushed, just as all of its victims did, right before they had met their doom. Raphael's powers had restrained the satirical powers of the dagger, but since Raphael had not been as strong as the devil himself, he would not be able to hold it off much longer.
He could only think of one solution of bypassing his brother, and he would have to be very careful of following through with his plan. "Brother, I have thought it over, I will join you, but may we have lunch in the dining room first?"
"You don't think I can sense the lies in your voice? You really think that I will allow you to go to the Stone of Heaven to seal the sword away? Brother, you obviously don't…" Emperion stopped, as a sudden thought had struck him, "of course, I will let you seal the sword away brother, besides, what kind of brother would I be if I declined your dying wish?"
"You would still be evil, but you would be a smart devil if you let me," retorted Zyterion, " it would be the only way of your guaranteed survival."
"How do you figure, brother?" shot back a curious Emperion.
"This sword, father's sword, is the only weapon that is holy enough to purge you of your evil, but I know that I cannot beat you with it," answered a dying Zyterion truthfully.
As the two walked to the sword, they did not look at each other, they found that mobs of people were glaring at Zyterion. Some of his loyal subjects were still there, but they tried to refrain from direct eye contact, and Zyterion did not disown them for it because he hoped the best for them in the new empire that was about to rise. "We are here brother, and make it quick, just as I make your execution quick and merciful," Emperion commanded with amusement.
"I need no mercy from you Emperion, now step aside so that I may seal my father's sword away," demanded a dying, yet angry Zyterion.
"Don't do it!" shouted a different voice from Emperion.
"What? Emperion? Are you in there?" questioned a surprised Zyterion.
"You heard nothing Zyterion, son of Curion, brother of Emperion Pharnese!" shouted a clearly surprised Emperion.
"Emperion! Don't lose hope! You will be saved, by who I do not know, but do not worry for me, I am going to join father, in heaven, with the true owners of this sword!"
"Hurry, and do the ceremony fool!" yelled a clearly irritated Emperion.
"Demon, I will not do this for you, I do this for my subjects, my brother, and for the kingdom of Scotland!" yelled Zyterion so that even the mobs could hear.
This was immediately followed by jeers, but Zyterion could have sworn that he heard cries of "Long live Scotland!" and "Kill him Zyterion!". He had not planned on killing his brother, and he would not. Not as long as he was trapped inside of his own body. Now was the time to seal the sword away from the evils of his long lost empire.
"Gabriel of mystery, Uriel of finding, Raphael of healing, and Michael of protecting, I call upon you to seal away the sword of god the almighty!" incanted Zyterion, "May he cast this demon from my brother, and may my brother find that I have passed from this world in peace because as he well knows, the future doesn't scare me at all"
The skies had suddenly gotten darker, and four lights had soon found a place on the ground, and to the amazement of everybody, including Zyterion, they started gaining a form, all of which had wings. They did look splendid in their armor, as they hovered toward the two brothers. The one in the lead had started talking.
"YOU HAVE CALLED UPON US, THE ARCHANGELS OF THE LORD ALMIGHTY, WHO HAVE NO MASTER EXCEPT FOR THE LORD HIMSELF? AS MICHAEL OF THE ARCHANGELS, I DEMAND THAT YOU GIVE ME A REASON FOR LISTENING TO YOU." asked the angel who referred to himself as Michael.
"Yes, Michael of the Archangels, I ask a favor of you, to take this sword back to the heavens, so that it may have a place among god again," replied Zyterion humbly.
Michael had stepped backward, and another angel had soon stepped forward. "HELLO ZYTERION, SON OF CURION AND MURIEL, I AM THE ARCHANGEL GABRIEL, AND I AM NOT PLEASED TO TELL YOU THAT WE CANNOT TAKE THE SWORD BACK WITH US, BUT WE CAN SEAL IT INTO THIS ROCK, WHERE HUNDREDS OF YEARS AGO, WE HAD SEALED ANOTHER SWORD, WHOSE NAME WAS EXCALIBUR, AND IT WILL ONLY COME LOOSE WHENEVER THE RIGHT PERSON COMES TO FIND IT," said the archangel that called himself Gabriel.
"Very well, please make sure that no harm comes to this sword, as I have tried to, and have been unsuccessful, as this deceiver who uses my brother's body could have taken it from me if he had wanted to," asked Zyterion, now with his head down bowing to the angels.
Gabriel had stepped away, just as Michael had, and now, another angel, this one looked more feminine, had stepped forward. "I AM URIEL, THE ANGEL THAT YOUR MOTHER WAS NAMED AFTER, AND WILL SEE YOUR REQUEST CARRIED THROUGH, ON MY HONOR AS AN ARCHANGEL, AND AS YOUR GUARDIAN, I WILL HEAL YOUR WOUND NOW, ALTHOUGH THE POWER THAT RAPHAEL HAD IMBUED INTO THE SWORD COULD NOT," said the angel who called herself Uriel.
Just as she had said, the wound had completely healed as a glowing light had spread over it, and he felt immediate relief from his side. "I also request, but not demand, that you get rid of this intruder, and make sure that my brother makes it safely to the gates that my father resides at."
The last angel had finally stepped forward. He had suspected that this was Raphael who had helped him cope with the pain from the dagger, and his suspicion was soon confirmed, as the last archangel had started to talk. "I AM RAPHAEL, AND I WILL MAKE SURE YOUR BROTHER CAN GET TO HEAVEN, BUT I DO REGRET THAT I MUST WAIT UNTIL THIS DEMON HAS RELEASED HIM FROM HIS GRASP," said Raphael as he started raising his hand, which then pointed at Emperion, "YOU HOWEVER, WILL BE SENT TO THE GATES OF HELL, FROM WHICH SATAN RESIDES, AND TRUST ME, WE WILL MEET AGAIN IN BATTLE, AND NEXT TIME CONSIDER YOURSELF AS GOOD AS DEAD, AND WE WILL NOT HAVE ANY MERCY ON SUCH A DEMON SUCH AS YOURSELF, HE WHO BREAKS BONDS AND FAMILIES," yelled Raphael at Emperion, showing the first sign of emotion in any of the archangels.
Then, all of the archangels started talking in unison. "WE WILL TAKE THE SWORD AND SEAL IT INSIDE THE ROCK NOW, FOR WE GROW IRRITATED AT ALL OF THIS, AND ALL OF YOU WILL NOT REMEMBER A THING, EXCEPT FOR WHO IT CONCERNS, MEANING THE BROTHERS OF PHARNESE!" shouted all of the angels, as their hands joined as one and thrusted the sword into the stone, for which it would sit for more than five-hundred years.
The angels then departed, and just as they promised everybody had lost their memory of the event, except for the Pharnese brothers of course. "Now, you must die Zyterion, and I must say that it will be a righteous death for that of a traitor!"
The dagger had not been as cold as it had been before, Zyterion reflected as he was stabbed in the back, but he knew he would die all the same, since Uriel's gift had departed along with the angel. His body had been given proper burial by his loyal subjects, but Zyterion was soon forgotten, as was the sword, which had been sealed into the stone until it had been pulled, more than five-hundred years later.

Seems like your on to a really good start to something there. I liked how you jumped right into the action from the gate, nice touch. The beginning of a book to me is important because it really makes me do two things either keep reading or stop reading but your story had me reading till the end so consider that an accomplishment in itself...

haha, thank you for even reading! i got complaints that it was too long to read, and if I were to make this a book i'd make this an introduction of a series of books, because I have ALOT of writing to do before it's done, lol