So i've been crazy about this one girl and we've been friends for quite sometime. At first I thought she had the same feelings for me, but then i had to move and I felt like if i don't say anything to her about my feelings I'd regret it forever so I told her. But right before that she told me that she liked someone(my best friend) because I guess she really wanted me to know. So after I told her it seemed ok but then obviously she ended up getting together with my best friend and now I'm in a completely different state than she is. Being far from her does sort of help me get over it all but with facebook and everything we still keep in contact and seeing how happy she is with him with homecoming pics and stuff really doesn't help at all... and I go back to visit occasionally and she seems pretty excited to see me but it somehow feels fake because it seems like though she feels sorry for me, she kinda wants to get rid of me... How exactly can i just move on without actually getting rid of her in my life?

Well the best thing I could suggest is try to remember that she is happy, and thats really what matters when it comes to liking/loving someone. And also remember that even though this girl seems absolutely perfect, there is a reason it didn't work out. Go out in your new state and try to find someone else. Keep your eyes open. Someone right for you will be there. Best of luck!

Time heals bud.

How long has all of this been?

Try to decrease the amount of time you spend on her facebook or talking to her any other way for a little while. But then after some time, you can start incorporating her in your life again. You have to prove to yourself you don't NEED her. Then you can move on.

light knight put it very well.
"You have to prove to yourself you don't NEED her"
on top of that as long as your not 40-50 years old you have plenty of time to meet all kinds of females.

@Light Knight: Well, I told her last year. I've tried to not talk to her that much. I never really look at her facebook profile itself, but stuff always shows up on the news feed and all and she occasionally tries to talk to me as if she was trying to get through to me or something. But i know what you mean. I'll try my best.

@dramabethie: I know she's happy. If I didn't care if she was happy I would've tried to fight it or something, like get in a fight with my best friend. But i just let it slide and now I'm trying to just move on. They know that I like her and I think they're feeling sympathetic for me now... which in turn makes me feel bad because i don't want them to be all sorry for me and be miserable because of me. And i can't seem to find anyone else here as of right now haha. The girls here seem pretty shallow as of now... but I'm looking lol. I can't think of a better way of getting past this than finding someone else.

Anyway, thanks for the advice

I think that you should convince yourself that this matter is over (I know it's difficult).
Only if you manage to do that, then you would be ready to move on your life.
If I were you, I would keep my eyes open for the next girl.
Because if you have a new girlfriend, then you will be able to talk to her as "equal".

And keep always in your mind that the word is full of girls

Good Luck!

Believe me, noelia, I've been looking all over the place XD. I haven't really found anyone yet exactly though... I guess maybe my standards can be somewhat high... but I appreciate your insight

It's true, I've found that getting over a girl is easier when you like an other one. Don't try TOO hard to find yourself one, you still want to naturally like her, not out of force.

Nothing wrong with high standards, but sometimes we nitpick a girl just cause deep inside we don't want to like her because we still love someone else...

Originally posted by Light Knight

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It's true, I've found that getting over a girl is easier when you like an other one. Don't try TOO hard to find yourself one, you still want to naturally like her, not out of force.

Nothing wrong with high standards, but sometimes we nitpick a girl just cause deep inside we don't want to like her because we still love someone else...

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I know what you mean. I've noticed that sometimes about the second part with the high standards. Thanks again!

Well considering I've been in this situation before, I'll throw something out there.

Everything everyone has said has a bit of truth and helpfulness to it.

First off if you really think they are being sympathetic to you, talk to one of them ask them about it and nip it in the bud. They might say they aren't but you can usally tell, as you already can lol.

Tell them you appreicate them being thoughtful of you but not to, because in the end with them acting like that it makes it so much worse, and alot harder to get over.

Secondly, find another girl, like they suggested, but maybe not one that you normally would go for. Find a decent girl and go on dates, don't be her boyfriend go on dates, hangout with her, see how the two of you mesh, trust me you may get some unexpected results from a girl you thought you wanted nothing to do with.

Also, you can stop talking to her or slow down, but the best bet is to keep talking to her, to both of them, keep them as friends, who knows you may not be able to be with her, but the two of them could end up being two of the best friends you ever had.

There is alot more I could say but if you wanna know more just PM and ask, i'm always more then happy to help.

(P.S.) I know this is a little late on the reply but hopefully it can still help.

I agree with virtually what everyone else has said execpt for actively seeking for another girl to try to somewhat "replace" the old one. The feelings you've felt for the girl were real and that's why you're having a difficult time moving on. And if you try to actively seek another girl right now you'd probably end up comparing all of her qualities to the other girl, especially after you've said you have high standards, (again, nothing wrong with having high standards, the world could use a few more people with high standards) and not that you would intentionally compare her but chances are you will. I'd let some time go by before you actively seek another girl. But if a girl comes along the way meanwhile that you really enjoy and would like to spend time with, then there's no harm in that. I just don't think it's fair to the new girl to have feelings for the other girl. But good luck it'll be ok.

My suggestion is become friends with a lot of girls! This sounds shallow at first, but I did say friends. getting to know these girls could stimulate bigger feelings later! and new friends never hurt anyone anyway!

Im not saying try and go out with anyone yet, Im just saying the best friend I think I ever had is now my girlfriend, and that was a chance meeting and through a school play where we played bf/gf! kinda Disney but very cool!

Good luck my friend!

scorpion347 : Yeah I know what you mean, Thanks

Try avoiding facebook for a little while and try other things, like video games. That always works for me

the thing I found that worked the best was to become too busy with other things to care. You can't avoid thinking about her forever, but if you find too many other things to do then you limit the amount of time that you can spend thinking about her.

And like the others have said.... time heals the wounds. Not much else you can do but use time to put space between you and her.

geeogree : Yes, I find that doing something else that occupies my time tends to work well for lots of things as well as not thinking about someone. Thanks

Well that sounds like a bit of a bind. I hope this helps you but just keep on reminding yourself that you are just friends and that's it. Maybe keep telling yourself that being friends with her is way better than just seeing her or just on a know to know basis. Heck, i bet many people would like to have a friend that they think is perfect in every way, but then again it would be kinda hard because then it would be poking at you that this person is so perfect in every way. Well try to keep busy in your new place, and try to keep looking for another girl to talk to, hey you just might end up seeing her the same way. You never know.. I guess it's safe to say you are lucky!

Stop being such a girl over it? First you need to completely sever contact. If she contacts you in any way, you need to express that having contact with her makes it difficult for you. The just for get about it. she just might have used you to get with your friend. You will find someone in the future.

mdynasty926 : I'm telling you right now. It sucky trying to get over someone.

I agree with bobby, It's hard at first but once you get your heart broken enough, letting go is extremely easy thing to do I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of keeping in touch with you, cut communication off altogether show her your strong and not weak she might even like you more that way. That is the last place you want to be, just another string on her puppet show.